WolfGirl21 Posted March 24, 2010 Posted March 24, 2010 my boyfriend has a lot of female friends, & im fine with that....but sometimes he hangs out with them in the evening, with guy friends & they are all drinking. plus today he comes over, really just wanting sex, & then goes and works on training for the marines, and now going to check on a female friend who got in a car accident...should i be concerned that he seems to care more about other girls when somthing's up with them, but when i say im not feeling good all i get is "lol"/"mhm"/"uhhuh"/"that sucks"? (& i understand that a car accident is a big deal, but it still makes me a little suspicious...any advice or anything on how i can deal with this without causing a fight?)
St. Nick Posted March 24, 2010 Posted March 24, 2010 "I'm not feeling good", when you say that do you mean like a little headache? If that's the case then how does that call for receiving the same treatment as a car accident victim?
boogieboy Posted March 24, 2010 Posted March 24, 2010 my boyfriend has a lot of female friends, & im fine with that....but sometimes he hangs out with them in the evening, with guy friends & they are all drinking. plus today he comes over, really just wanting sex, & then goes and works on training for the marines, and now going to check on a female friend who got in a car accident...should i be concerned that he seems to care more about other girls when somthing's up with them, but when i say im not feeling good all i get is "lol"/"mhm"/"uhhuh"/"that sucks"? (& i understand that a car accident is a big deal, but it still makes me a little suspicious...any advice or anything on how i can deal with this without causing a fight?) He's just going to check on them, hes not putting ice packs on their heads. When youre already with him, and you say youre not feeling good, he's already there, so he doesnt have to check on you. If you want to be pampered, then tell him when you are whiny you want to be pampered. Dont expect anything though, he doesnt sound like the nurturing type.
terra Posted March 25, 2010 Posted March 25, 2010 my boyfriend has a lot of female friends, & im fine with that....but sometimes he hangs out with them in the evening, with guy friends & they are all drinking. plus today he comes over, really just wanting sex, & then goes and works on training for the marines, and now going to check on a female friend who got in a car accident...should i be concerned that he seems to care more about other girls when somthing's up with them, but when i say im not feeling good all i get is "lol"/"mhm"/"uhhuh"/"that sucks"? (& i understand that a car accident is a big deal, but it still makes me a little suspicious...any advice or anything on how i can deal with this without causing a fight?) I have lots of male friends and I would honestly be put off if my boyfriend had a problem with it. That being said I always invite my boyfriend with me when I make plans to hang out with them. He gets to meet them and see how I interact with them. I think that makes a big difference. Does your bf invite you along when he hangs out with these girls? I'm sure once you got to know them you would feel less insecure. I really don't think it's a big deal that he is checking up on a friend who was in a car accident - I'm sure you'd do the same for your friend, gender aside. It's completely different from being sick. I'd talk to him and tell him that it's important for you to get to know his friends and ask to tag along one night. Seeing how he acts with his friends will be a big indicator as to if you have anything to worry about.
Rhythmic Posted March 25, 2010 Posted March 25, 2010 Ask to go with him when he goes and hangs out with his female friends. If he says anything other than yes then you have every right to be suspicious. If he says no or says or does anything to try to convince you not to go. Anything like trying to convince you that you wont like it or if he puts it off and decides not to go randomly. Then you have a problem.
Crazy Magnet Posted March 25, 2010 Posted March 25, 2010 I agree. You should be able to go and meet them and it's a huge red flag if he won't let you. But it's also a red flag if they avoid you like the plague. My BF's best friend basically ended their friendship b/c she didn't want to have to get to know me. Oh well, too bad for her. I get my way! Female friends should be fine as long as there are realistic boundaries in place.
counterman Posted March 25, 2010 Posted March 25, 2010 I agree with the other posters. You should meet his female friends and see how they interact with your boyfriend. In my last relationship, I had doubts about my ex's guy friends. Seeing them interact together made things even worse because those guys would try to make a statement indirectly to me by touching her and flirting. I played it too cool and ignored it when I should have dumped her right there (for not respecting our relationship enough to tell those guys to back off). He should have nothing to hide from you in regards to his female friends.
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