spriggig Posted March 24, 2010 Posted March 24, 2010 Wow. To keep it cheap, we did the online divorce thing. I got fed up and took the day off work to do it. She happened to be home early too, for some reason. It was quick and simple, she agreed to everything and I clicked the button. We're supposed to get the forms tomorrow. We'll both sign and then I'll file. Absolutely one of the worst days of my life. Man, it's going to be lonely here without them. I just want to crawl in a hole and die.
onedayatatyme Posted March 24, 2010 Posted March 24, 2010 I'm sorry, Spriggig. I know every step of this process is ugly and painful.
carhill Posted March 24, 2010 Posted March 24, 2010 Hey, I loved when the guy with the gun showed up at the door. We smiled and chatted a bit. Deputies understand divorce only too well. It's really not a big deal. It's deciding to do it that's the big deal. Second to that is trying to settle the marital estate amicably. Grit your teeth. I got sad when I cleaned out the closets after stbx was long gone, but she likes her new house and it's packed to the gills with stuff; perfect for her. Everything works out
Author spriggig Posted March 24, 2010 Author Posted March 24, 2010 I'll get the forms online, print them out and go to the courthouse and get in line, I suppose. I can't even think about packing this place up, It's going to be a gut wrenching couple of months. Thanks for the kind words. I really need them right now.
2sure Posted March 24, 2010 Posted March 24, 2010 H and I recently filed and the D will be final in August. We didnt file until we had the finances and who gets what documented...and the rest I'm letting go. My daughter and I will be gone a month prior to the finalization. So, between now and then. Its so hard. The hardest thing Ive ever done.
GorillaTheater Posted March 24, 2010 Posted March 24, 2010 Wow, 2sure. I can't say that I didn't see it coming (if anything, I admired your fortitude in putting it off as long as you did), but I'm very sorry for your pain. I guess it's something like mourning the death of a loved one, made even worse since the other person doesn't have the decency to actually die. Spriggig, I'll tell you from the outset that I'm a lawyer, so make of this what you will, but consider getting a lawyer to look the paperwork over, particularly if custody and support are at issue. You're obviously a bright guy and capable of looking after yourself, I just would hate to see you make a misstep in the divorce that you'll regret.
Author spriggig Posted March 24, 2010 Author Posted March 24, 2010 Wow, 2sure. I can't say that I didn't see it coming (if anything, I admired your fortitude in putting it off as long as you did), but I'm very sorry for your pain. I guess it's something like mourning the death of a loved one, made even worse since the other person doesn't have the decency to actually die. Spriggig, I'll tell you from the outset that I'm a lawyer, so make of this what you will, but consider getting a lawyer to look the paperwork over, particularly if custody and support are at issue. You're obviously a bright guy and capable of looking after yourself, I just would hate to see you make a misstep in the divorce that you'll regret. As long as we agree and sign and it gets approved by a judge, we're good to go right?
Rearden Metal Posted March 24, 2010 Posted March 24, 2010 As long as we agree and sign and it gets approved by a judge, we're good to go right? Yeah but you gotta know someone who's a lawyer who'll take a quick look at your stuff. Let her chase the butterflies. Good riddance.
GorillaTheater Posted March 24, 2010 Posted March 24, 2010 As long as we agree and sign and it gets approved by a judge, we're good to go right? Maybe. I've been very fortunate in my career in that I've never practiced family (irony noted) law, so it's not like I can offer any sort of expert advice. But yeah, you might be fine. But I'd be very reluctant to move forward on something that may well affect you, the stbxw, and kids (sorry, I can't recall if you have any) for the rest of your lives without some expert advice. It shouldn't even cost all that much, as long as you shop around and tell them exactly what you want: look over the paperwork and tell me what red flags you see and if there are any, some options on dealing with them. Breaking up a partnership is similar to entering into a partnership. You want to do both with all available information.
Author spriggig Posted March 24, 2010 Author Posted March 24, 2010 Maybe. I've been very fortunate in my career in that I've never practiced family (irony noted) law, so it's not like I can offer any sort of expert advice. But yeah, you might be fine. But I'd be very reluctant to move forward on something that may well affect you, the stbxw, and kids (sorry, I can't recall if you have any) for the rest of your lives without some expert advice. It shouldn't even cost all that much, as long as you shop around and tell them exactly what you want: look over the paperwork and tell me what red flags you see and if there are any, some options on dealing with them. Breaking up a partnership is similar to entering into a partnership. You want to do both with all available information. Thank you.
carhill Posted March 24, 2010 Posted March 24, 2010 Yeah, Plan B and advice on proper handling cost me under a grand, under 4 hours billing. Cheap in the legal world, compared to other things I've done. In our case, once the court accepts initial disclosures and the motion for default judgment (uncontested), we can mutually waive the rights to final disclosures and enter into a settlement agreement which the court essentially rubber-stamps. Don't even have to show up if we don't want (judgment by mail). As was mentioned, if petitioner or respondent is seeking alimony and/or child support, things get more complicated. In our case, we structured it so petitioner moves for waiver of support to respondent and the respondent earns less but both have earned incomes and are working so there are no obvious signs of an unfair settlement. Same with assets and liabilities. Agree, make it look good, and down the road you go, at least in Cali. Still sucks cleaning out the momentos of a decade together...
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