Striken Posted March 24, 2010 Posted March 24, 2010 Originally I wrote out my life story here, but I've been doing some real deep thinking and have decided to change up my approach. So, here's the short and sweet of it. I have been in an LDR with a girl I met over the internet for 3 years now. We met each other face-to-face last year on two occasions. Both trips were wonderful but on my second she expressed that she thought our relationship was having problems and mentioned that she had been getting close to someone she had been friends with a long time. I asked her if she was leaving me and she replied 'no' in a horrified manner and that she still very much loved me. Day I get home all happy she phones me and tells me things aren't going to work out and she is going to date this other guy "because you never know if you don't try". This led me to finding out something new about myself... I don't let go of things easy and am quite good at cognitive dissonance. I still love her but also very much hate her choices she is making at the same time. I think about her every day and when I do I'm always thinking about the positive things, like good memories and my favorite things about her. But I also am repeatedly hurt by the choices she is making and the things she is saying. We have gotten into like 8 fights in the 6 months since this has happened and each one we both come back crying to each other and saying how sorry we are... most have started because I let jealousy get a hold of me. I'm starting to wonder if sticking around is such a good idea... If I stick around and keep talking to her everyday like I do I could end up just hurting her worse. But everytime I say to myself that I need to leave that voice pops up in my head that says 'if you turn your back now you never have a chance at being with her again'. I can't compete with someone who can see her all the time... but I know if given the proper chance we really have something... My everything hurts. PS. That was alot longer then expected, I apologize
ATR Posted March 24, 2010 Posted March 24, 2010 The best 3 years of your life was with a girl you have met twice!?
Art_Critic Posted March 24, 2010 Posted March 24, 2010 The best 3 years of your life was with a girl you have met twice!? and spent the last 6 months of that 3 years fighting... Striken.. time to move on from this and put your effort into another realtionship that you will find more fullfilling..
DustySaltus Posted March 24, 2010 Posted March 24, 2010 I think the biggest thing here besides the fact that you only met her twice in 3 years is that she waited until THE DAY AFTER YOU LEFT to tell you she wanted to date someone else. Whether you saw her every single day or met her only once, it's extremely weak. Not someone you want to be involved with for the long term. The future is a lot brighter.
Author Striken Posted March 24, 2010 Author Posted March 24, 2010 I guess the 3 years would be in reference to it was someone to talk to everyday who just isn't there in the same way anymore. A person is a person, no matter where they live in relation to you. When I was 'with' her I guess I felt that sense of fulfillment, which is the real problem here but I don't think my mind will ever let me really accept just that.
hoping2heal Posted March 24, 2010 Posted March 24, 2010 Originally I wrote out my life story here, but I've been doing some real deep thinking and have decided to change up my approach. So, here's the short and sweet of it. I have been in an LDR with a girl I met over the internet for 3 years now. We met each other face-to-face last year on two occasions. Both trips were wonderful but on my second she expressed that she thought our relationship was having problems and mentioned that she had been getting close to someone she had been friends with a long time. I asked her if she was leaving me and she replied 'no' in a horrified manner and that she still very much loved me. Day I get home all happy she phones me and tells me things aren't going to work out and she is going to date this other guy "because you never know if you don't try". This led me to finding out something new about myself... I don't let go of things easy and am quite good at cognitive dissonance. I still love her but also very much hate her choices she is making at the same time. I think about her every day and when I do I'm always thinking about the positive things, like good memories and my favorite things about her. But I also am repeatedly hurt by the choices she is making and the things she is saying. We have gotten into like 8 fights in the 6 months since this has happened and each one we both come back crying to each other and saying how sorry we are... most have started because I let jealousy get a hold of me. I'm starting to wonder if sticking around is such a good idea... If I stick around and keep talking to her everyday like I do I could end up just hurting her worse. But everytime I say to myself that I need to leave that voice pops up in my head that says 'if you turn your back now you never have a chance at being with her again'. I can't compete with someone who can see her all the time... but I know if given the proper chance we really have something... My everything hurts. PS. That was alot longer then expected, I apologize If you keep talking to her like this it may hurt HER worse? No sweetie. She is off skipping through the daisies with another man and sliding down the rainbow on the way to falling in love (if she hasn't already) you are the one who will be hurt worse, not her. She's good right now. She's set. You talk about worrying you may never have a chance with her again. How is this being realistic? You already played that game and she chose to move on with someone in closer pastures. She couldn't comitt to you and keep up the distance so she found someone else who could meet her needs. You will always be long distance and she can't hack that, and more sadly instead of just telling you that she took her time opening up and building a bond with another man from the comforts and security of her relationship with you (lest it not work out or go how she wants) and when she got the green light it was c'est la vie with you and fluffy bunnies&rainbows with this other guy. I understand you had something to rely on for three years and that provided a sense of security and comfort for you which was no doubt special and wonderful but you have to be realistic.
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