Mahatma Posted March 24, 2010 Posted March 24, 2010 …The dog. We have been dating for almost 2 years now, and have been living together for 8 months. We both go to the same college and live in an apartment there. The apartment has 3 rooms. I had told her that we could *try* (stressing that it MIGHT not work) her dog at the end of the first year living together. I said this because simply moving in together is a big enough deal, but throwing a dog into the mix would be even more difficult. She does take care of her dog, and loves it, but her parents do a lot of the work. Her parents also are simply more suited to have the dog because they live in a house, have a large backyard, doggie door…etc. We live on the 3rd floor of an apartment complex. She is a full time student with a job that she works during the week. She is usually gone from 9am til at least 7pm, but several nights she is gone until 9:15pm. If we were to have the dog at the apartment, it would become MY responsibility. I also am not home very much until about 5pm as well. Not only is it not fair to me to have to take care of her dog, but it is also not fair for the dog to be home alone all the time, with no doggie door or anything. The dog has serious anxiety problems and chews the heck outta stuff when he is alone. So there is some background. Now to the present and this week. Her parents went on a 3 day trip to another city and needed to find someone to take care of her dog. We offered to do it for the 3 days, and I figured it would be a good chance to test the dog out. Now, I realize moving is traumatic for a dog, but I know how the dog acted at her parent’s house, and he still had/has the same issues. First off, the high pitched yelping/whining/barking. This is getting to be the most annoying. Every time we leave, he barks for about 15 minutes, rests for 5-10 minutes then resumes the high pitched barking and yelping. If she leaves and I am still there, he will go to the door and yelp/whine/bark for 15 minutes, break…continue. I will try to calm him, pet him, soothe him.. NOTHING works. We try to sleep, and he is noisy. Kick him out of the room, he whines/yelps/barks. I can only imagine how pissed off the neighbors are getting and the people below us. Every time we try to have some intimate time, we can’t. the dog starts his high pitched barking/whining/yelping and it is over. This part is also getting to me. I can’t even kiss her without her opening her eyes and watching the dog. I can’t get her to myself at all. Second, the following. I can’t do anything without the dog RIGHT behind me. I have stepped on and tripped on him countless times… and he has been here for 2 days. The apartment is just far too small for the dog to NOT mind his own business. Along with following, the begging. I can’t eat anything without the dog staring at me. He will sit and just stare. I tell him to go away, he comes right back. I put him in a room… and well you know what he does. Third, the jumping. When I come home, I want to relax. Can’t do that. I open the door, and the dog is on me. Jumping, licking, barking… Once again, I will agree that moving and being in unfamiliar places is stressful on the dog. I also agree that it is going to be stressful to me at first no matter what. You must also understand that I dated my girlfriend for over a year when the dog was living at home. Every time someone tries to get some space from the dog, he whines/yelps/barks… and just goes on an on. He jumps on everyone coming in the door, he doesn’t understand the word NO very well. He jumps up on you when you are eating at the table. He understands my “no,” but my girlfriend doesn’t give a serious no. She talks to him in that baby voice all the time, even when saying no. She also gives him treats for EVERYTHING. The dog is always doing SOMETHING in attempt for a treat. If he doesn’t get one, he barks/yelps/whines. Our relationship has been so flawless. We never fight. We have never had a fight, but this dog is going to be a serious problem. …ok I think my rant is done. Someone give me some advice.
WhenIrishEyesSmile Posted March 24, 2010 Posted March 24, 2010 You're only going to have the dog for one more day, right? How do her parents feel about having custody of "her" dog? Are they pressuring her to take him back? What I'm getting out of this is that you have had a taste of what being a pet owner (for that dog) would be all about, and you're not interested. Right? (I don't blame you, by the way.) Don't say anything to your GF about the dog until he is returned to her parents'. Then, I think you should sit her down and have a calm discussion about this. If you want to avoid an argument or hurt feelings, you should probably focus on a few points, and leave how annoying the dog is to you out of it. Focus on the neighbors, how it's not fair to leave the dog alone for so long (it's definitely not, especially if he is used to having people aruond), and his chewing up of furniture and cupboards or whatever it is that he chews on - I assume you're renting, and even if you own the apartment, you don't want that anyways. Let her know that you understand her feelings, but that this dog is not right for apartment living, and needs more attention than she is able to give it, at this time. Possibly, you could offer a compromise, like getting a low maintence pet. A bird or something, I don't know...
Author Mahatma Posted March 24, 2010 Author Posted March 24, 2010 You're only going to have the dog for one more day, right? How do her parents feel about having custody of "her" dog? Are they pressuring her to take him back? What I'm getting out of this is that you have had a taste of what being a pet owner (for that dog) would be all about, and you're not interested. Right? (I don't blame you, by the way.) Don't say anything to your GF about the dog until he is returned to her parents'. Then, I think you should sit her down and have a calm discussion about this. If you want to avoid an argument or hurt feelings, you should probably focus on a few points, and leave how annoying the dog is to you out of it. Focus on the neighbors, how it's not fair to leave the dog alone for so long (it's definitely not, especially if he is used to having people aruond), and his chewing up of furniture and cupboards or whatever it is that he chews on - I assume you're renting, and even if you own the apartment, you don't want that anyways. Let her know that you understand her feelings, but that this dog is not right for apartment living, and needs more attention than she is able to give it, at this time. Possibly, you could offer a compromise, like getting a low maintence pet. A bird or something, I don't know... Thanks for your response. Her parents think she should have her dog, but don't think this is the right environment for it either. I do plan to sit her down and talk to her about the dog once he leaves. He is going to be picked up today around 7pm. We thought about getting the low maintenance pet for her. I want a dog as well, but I didn't want to put it in an apartment situation either, nor did I have the time/money for a dog and vet bills. Her parents cover the food/vet/ and all that for the dog... and I ended up getting myself a bearded dragon, which I am very happy with. We thought about getting her a guinea pig, but then once we moved out she'd have her dog and the pig and she wasn't sure that'd be a good idea either.
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