homersheineken Posted March 26, 2010 Posted March 26, 2010 Originally Posted by homersheineken Catch up. This doesn't have anything to do with expecting sex. It's the leading the person on with a Go Go Go Go, oh wait I should stop now... If she didn't want to have sex, fine, but don't take it so far and then just stop. If I remember correctly, the OP started a seperate thread and she said she suggested going out instead, and that she would even pay and he declined the offer wanting to cook for her instead. My initial point stands firm in that regard. Some of you act like she went over there to seduce him or that she gave him oral and then left before he you know whatsies. All of that is completely irrelevant to my point.
CLC2008 Posted March 26, 2010 Posted March 26, 2010 All of that is completely irrelevant to my point. What was your point initially?
homersheineken Posted March 26, 2010 Posted March 26, 2010 Basically that it wasn't about his expectation for sex. It was her teasing that was the problem. Even she admitted that.
CLC2008 Posted March 26, 2010 Posted March 26, 2010 Basically that it wasn't about his expectation for sex. It was her teasing that was the problem. Even she admitted that. But she doesn't know what his expectations are and it is not all on her to know and or figure his out while trying to work through hers at the same time. I get the whole let's discuss and define our relationship before being intimate but he does have a mouth too. If she is a tease and withholding sex as a power play by not going all the way then the same can be said about those who specifically choose to withhold sex until the guy commits.
LadyRLD Posted March 26, 2010 Posted March 26, 2010 It wasn't 4 dates in 4 months, people. It was 4 dates in 2 and a half months. Read my post above to get why he's only been able to set up 4 dates. If he's so busy then he shouldn't be dating. 4 dates in two and a half months is still not enough interest. But if that's what Marsle wants then she can expect that after she sleeps with him, he will be too busy to contact her on a regular basis. He will continue to do what he does and it will feel so much worse to her after she has sex with him. When a man is excited about a women he calls her. And he would've called her on his vacation or at least sent her a text. I believe he was on vacation with a lady friend. That's just my opinion. Introducing someone to your guy friends doesn't mean anything. Men cover for eachother. I knew a guy who was a player and he would have his friends cover for him when he was with another lady. He took playing to an extreme. He also paid for dates and the whole nine just to have a harem of women to keep around. He liked to make them feel like they each were special and the only one. I saw it with my own eyes. I mean the way he did it was impressive but also sad because these women were gaslighted badly. And his friends had no probelm covering for him because they thought he was so cool. :mad:So meeting male friends is irrelevant and spending money when you have it is irrelevant. There are different ways to be a player. Some players like to keep a few women for a long time. Not just hit and quit. This guy doesn't sound like a one woman man. JMHO. He sounds like he likes to have options. He just picks one whose available at the time. His wining and dining is just his personality.
homersheineken Posted March 26, 2010 Posted March 26, 2010 But she doesn't know what his expectations are and it is not all on her to know and or figure his out while trying to work through hers at the same time. I get the whole let's discuss and define our relationship before being intimate but he does have a mouth too. If she is a tease and withholding sex as a power play by not going all the way then the same can be said about those who specifically choose to withhold sex until the guy commits. I'm not sure why you keep bring his expectations when I keep saying they're irrelevant. You just seem to want to argue your point regardless of what I say, so continue...
xpaperxcutx Posted March 26, 2010 Posted March 26, 2010 I'm not sure why you keep bring his expectations when I keep saying they're irrelevant. You just seem to want to argue your point regardless of what I say, so continue... Well look who's the stubborn one... accusing her of being a tease when she's not.
xpaperxcutx Posted March 26, 2010 Posted March 26, 2010 If he's so busy then he shouldn't be dating. 4 dates in two and a half months is still not enough interest. But if that's what Marsle wants then she can expect that after she sleeps with him, he will be too busy to contact her on a regular basis. He will continue to do what he does and it will feel so much worse to her after she has sex with him. When a man is excited about a women he calls her. And he would've called her on his vacation or at least sent her a text. I believe he was on vacation with a lady friend. That's just my opinion. Introducing someone to your guy friends doesn't mean anything. Men cover for eachother. I knew a guy who was a player and he would have his friends cover for him when he was with another lady. He took playing to an extreme. He also paid for dates and the whole nine just to have a harem of women to keep around. He liked to make them feel like they each were special and the only one. I saw it with my own eyes. I mean the way he did it was impressive but also sad because these women were gaslighted badly. And his friends had no probelm covering for him because they thought he was so cool. :mad:So meeting male friends is irrelevant and spending money when you have it is irrelevant. There are different ways to be a player. Some players like to keep a few women for a long time. Not just hit and quit. This guy doesn't sound like a one woman man. JMHO. He sounds like he likes to have options. He just picks one whose available at the time. His wining and dining is just his personality. I think this last paragraph hits the point completely. He does act aloof when she ( initiates) contacts with him.
St. Nick Posted March 26, 2010 Posted March 26, 2010 I don't think a view of a nice guy actually qualifies coming from someone who wanted to break up with his gf because she couldn't quote on quote...ride properly. If you can read then you should go back to that thread and see I dumped that old broad for more reasons than that. And even if I did, women have been known to dump a man cuz he's bad in bed too, as well as because he has a small penis or a bad kisser. Check out the comments on this site: http://www.tressugar.com/Do-Tell-Have-You-Dumped-Someone-Being-Bad-Bed-3237227 So at the very least women dump dudes for just as many superficial reasons as guys dump women. I love how you didn't put anything to refute my claim but used a past post to judge me. That's tasteless and lame. But I can play your game by bringing up old threads to deflect a person's credibility: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t220688/ I don't think a grown woman who is so broke she still lives with her family should be giving advice on how to deal with people. Instead, she should be worrying about how she can deal with her family member's boyfriend who is driving her "bonkers". (If me bringing up old threads touched a nerve then don't use tactics on people when you can't take the same tactics used on you in return. Instead, why don't you actually argue against what is said, huh?) Lastly, the term is "quote unquote", not "quote on quote", which sounds like a painfully illiterate thing to say.
Johnny M Posted March 26, 2010 Posted March 26, 2010 Well look who's the stubborn one... accusing her of being a tease when she's not. What are you talking about?? Getting naked and jumping into a guy's bed only to tell him that she is not ready is not considered being a tease??? Which planet are you from?
Author marsle85 Posted March 26, 2010 Author Posted March 26, 2010 We've been on four dates in two and a half months (Thanks, Nick). By now he knows what he would like to pursue with me (just like I do). It is what it is. Me initiating once in a while isn't going to change that. He has led nearly everything we have done, and in return- I am attracted and interested in him. We have been relatively intimate (despite not having intercourse) and I would like to see him again. He didn't respond eagerly to my original text on Wednesday- but regardless, I'm tired of games and waiting and pushing and pulling. I wish I would have been honest originally with him about my period. I want him to know i'm not using him for dates, etc. I want to do something nice for him. I texted him: "Soo... no ballet, but how do you feel about horseback riding? My treat!" As soon as I sent the text- a weight lifted off my shoulders. Because really, it's a win/win for me. I don't want to start a relationship based on games, the initial wooing has passed- I'm not acting desperate or overly attentive. If he doesn't respond, gives me a vague response, or tells me he's not interested? Then I know. I got the message I needed to move on and look elsewhere. If he accepts? I can move forward and start enjoying my time with him. One text asking him out again isn't going to change what he thinks already about me. I'm being me. I'm showing I care. At this point, that's what i'm comfortable with. I don't need a serious relationship talk, I'm not READY to BEGIN dating him- I'm ready to reciprocate, treat him to a day out, and see where things take us. I'm ready to know- good or bad. This could be right or wrong, impulsive or too aggressive. There's so many questions and games and rules - I want to be with him -sharing- something, enjoying something legitimate. I just want to start enjoying the RIDE.
CLC2008 Posted March 26, 2010 Posted March 26, 2010 I'm not sure why you keep bring his expectations when I keep saying they're irrelevant. You just seem to want to argue your point regardless of what I say, so continue... Well that's your own opinion, so be it.
CLC2008 Posted March 26, 2010 Posted March 26, 2010 If you can read then you should go back to that thread and see I dumped that old broad for more reasons than that. And even if I did, women have been known to dump a man cuz he's bad in bed too, as well as because he has a small penis or a bad kisser. Check out the comments on this site: http://www.tressugar.com/Do-Tell-Have-You-Dumped-Someone-Being-Bad-Bed-3237227 So at the very least women dump dudes for just as many superficial reasons as guys dump women. I love how you didn't put anything to refute my claim but used a past post to judge me. That's tasteless and lame. But I can play your game by bringing up old threads to deflect a person's credibility: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t220688/ I don't think a grown woman who is so broke she still lives with her family should be giving advice on how to deal with people. Instead, she should be worrying about how she can deal with her family member's boyfriend who is driving her "bonkers". (If me bringing up old threads touched a nerve then don't use tactics on people when you can't take the same tactics used on you in return. Instead, why don't you actually argue against what is said, huh?) Lastly, the term is "quote unquote", not "quote on quote", which sounds like a painfully illiterate thing to say. LOL, ouch that hurts.
tigressA Posted March 27, 2010 Posted March 27, 2010 I'm being me. I'm showing I care. At this point, that's what i'm comfortable with. I don't need a serious relationship talk, I'm not READY to BEGIN dating him- I'm ready to reciprocate, treat him to a day out, and see where things take us. I'm ready to know- good or bad. This could be right or wrong, impulsive or too aggressive. There's so many questions and games and rules - I want to be with him -sharing- something, enjoying something legitimate. I just want to start enjoying the RIDE. This is the way to be. As you said--no matter what happens, you'll have your answer, and that's always good.
dazzle22 Posted March 27, 2010 Posted March 27, 2010 I think a lot of people here are being way too hard on you. So, you are young, you really, really like a guy, and you get a little carried away in the moment, and then pull the plug. SO WHAT? Blue balls -OMG! The world may end! All guys wank off anyway after dates that don't end in sex, so what is the big deal? So what if you were a tease! Many guys string women along making them feel like they want a relationship when they just want sex, and then dump them without ever so much as a call afterwards. That is the reality out there and that is teasing on a much more CRUEL level. I think you are being too eager and explanatory with this guy, showing way too much of your hand way too soon in this relationship, as all women do when they are young. Carhill has a great line, that the person who cares the most holds all the power, and your being all over him made it clear to him that HE holds all the cards. You say you don't want him to think you are using him for dates, but you don't know, he could be using YOU just to get SEX. Doesn't matter that he asked you out, made dinner, you don't know him well enough to know his motives. Plenty of guys play the hunting game for a number of dates, then score and run. It is ridiculous that some guys here think just because a guy takes a girl to dinners, etc, he deserves a sexual favor. Hmm, sex for money, oh, right that is called PROSTITUTION. Here's another thing, that I am surprised more people didn't bring up. To me it is a GIGANTIC red flag that he takes you to his bedroom when all his roommates are there-is that what happened? So your first time together would have been with his roommates in the next room...? What if you had slept with him? Do they all line up at the door and ask him how you were? That was a BAD situation. You need to go with what your subconscious has been screaming at you: you like him A LOT and you are AFRAID of getting hurt because you are correct, YOU DO NOT KNOW HIS TRUE INTENTIONS. Don't try to have "the talk" with him. Let him prove by his actions whether he wants a relationship or not. That takes TIME. Don't apologize, don't explain, don't fawn over him. Pull back, keep your emotions in check and and don't show any more of your cards til he shows whether he wants a true relationship with you, because that is what you want. I was like you when I was young. TOO NICE.. Be cooler with everyone, girlfriends included before you really really know someone. Much better to be that way, you get hurt a lot less, and the curious thing is, everyone likes you BETTER when you do that. Never be a sure or easy thing for ANYONE....
txsilkysmoothe Posted March 27, 2010 Posted March 27, 2010 Here's another thing, that I am surprised more people didn't bring up. To me it is a GIGANTIC red flag that he takes you to his bedroom when all his roommates are there-is that what happened? So your first time together would have been with his roommates in the next room...? What if you had slept with him? Do they all line up at the door and ask him how you were? That was a BAD situation... Yes, I didn't like that either. OP, everyone on LS has made mistakes, most far worse than anything you have described here. You've been a really good sport in handling the criticism. I hope you get the guy and I hope he is looking for the same type of relationship you are.
troggleputty Posted March 27, 2010 Posted March 27, 2010 We've been on four dates in two and a half months (Thanks, Nick). Right, so now the relationship either heats up or withers. Four dates is enough for both people to know if they want it to go farther. Also, making out in his bedroom and taking your shirt off (or whatever it is that happened) crossed a line. Not having sex that one particular time is completely beside the point. He might assume that you really DID want to have sex with him but restrained yourself because you didn't want him to think you were too "easy." I guess that's acceptable, but I don't see that you can expect it to work more than once at that point. Not after you've removed your shirt. The important point is the "trend." If you don't wish to have some "form" of sex with him that involves him having an orgasm, you need to end the relationship, otherwise, it is just teasing. It doesn't have to be intercourse. It doesn't even have to be a b.j. But it's not fair to get the guy all riled up and leave him hanging. Not repeatedly. That's why some are calling you a tease. If you don't want to have sex, then don't have it. Either he's O.K. with that or he's not. But it's kind of silly, after four dates, saying you like the guy, taking off the shirt, making out in his bedroom, etc etc etc., to play a game with yourself (and with him) where you're so indecisive. "Should I have sex?" "Should I not have sex?" Either you want to or you don't. If you don't, fine, but don't blame that on him. "He didn't call me enough," "he's not chasing me enough," so what? None of that really matters, does it? Is sex something you do because you enjoy it, or is it something that you are just using to catch the man's interest? (Or rather, withholding to catch the man's interest?) By now he knows what he would like to pursue with me (just like I do). It is what it is. Me initiating once in a while isn't going to change that. He has led nearly everything we have done, and in return- I am attracted and interested in him. We have been relatively intimate (despite not having intercourse) and I would like to see him again. Well if he's a "normal male" then he has an expectation of having sex with you, or at least some form of it, where he is getting "satisfaction." Young healthy attractive adults who like each other have sex with each other, or want to. If you want to see him again, on a regular kind of basis, then you are going to have to be prepared to have sex with him. Why would he want to keep seeing you (no matter how nice you are) if you for whatever reason (doubts, confusion, whatever) won't have sex with him (i.e. some form of satisfying sex not necessarily the full monte)? You are making this way too difficult. He didn't respond eagerly to my original text on Wednesday- but regardless, I'm tired of games and waiting and pushing and pulling. I wish I would have been honest originally with him about my period. I want him to know i'm not using him for dates, etc. I want to do something nice for him. You can be nice, that's fine. But the issue is that the guy wants to have sex with you. I can say that with reliability because EVERY SINGLE GUY that you ever go out with (if they are normal heterosexual healthy males) wants to have sex with you. That is 100% certain the top priority in their minds. EVERYTHING ELSE is secondary and is not even a very close second. Why do you think he made you a nice dinner, took you out a few times, etc etc.? That doesn't mean the ONLY reason he did those things was to try to have sex with you. But let's face it...do you want to be an "adult" or a "kid"? I texted him: "Soo... no ballet, but how do you feel about horseback riding? My treat!" All he will be thinking about during your next date is getting you back to his place and into his bedroom. 100% guaranteed. So if you want a "relationship" with this guy, the quicker you take care of that unfinished business, the better. Otherwise you should just "move on" to someone that you will actually feel comfortable being sexual with. As soon as I sent the text- a weight lifted off my shoulders. Because really, it's a win/win for me. I don't want to start a relationship based on games, the initial wooing has passed- I'm not acting desperate or overly attentive. If he doesn't respond, gives me a vague response, or tells me he's not interested? Then I know. I got the message I needed to move on and look elsewhere. If he accepts? I can move forward and start enjoying my time with him. Wow. Your thread started out talking about sex with this guy, now you're not talking about it at all. It actually kind of sounds like you're a little ticked off that your denial of sex to him did not have its intended affect--which was to stimulate his increased interest. Instead he seems to have lost interest. But you're not trying to figure out the right way to broach having sex with him. You're trying to blame him for not being interested in you because you wouldn't have sex with him. One text asking him out again isn't going to change what he thinks already about me. You're completely leaving out what you actually perceive yourself doing in a relationship with this guy, of a sexual nature, and when. I'm being me. I'm showing I care. At this point, that's what i'm comfortable with. I don't need a serious relationship talk, I'm not READY to BEGIN dating him- I'm ready to reciprocate, treat him to a day out, and see where things take us. I'm ready to know- good or bad. OK. But your thread started as being about sex with this guy. Now you're not even talking about it. Do you or do you not want to have sex with this guy? By the way you're way beyond seeing whether things take you. You've already been out on four dates with this guy, have made out in his bedroom, and taken your shirt off for him. (*Note: As an adult, I have never had a relationship with any woman that went as far as four or five dates without some sort of reasonably satisfactory sexual encounter, or at least, a very clear positive trend in that direction.) This could be right or wrong, impulsive or too aggressive. There's so many questions and games and rules - I want to be with him -sharing- something, enjoying something legitimate. I just want to start enjoying the RIDE. If you want to enjoy the ride, then you better be willing to ride the joy.
threebyfate Posted March 27, 2010 Posted March 27, 2010 Hold it. She doesn't owe him sex. She just has to learn how to pace the dating experience, in the way that gets her to a level of comfort, enough to have sex with him. No doubt she needs to own those pacing issues but she's learned something from this experience. There's no need to push her any further. Also, while your dating experiences "always" have led to sex by four dates, if a woman isn't comfortable with doing so, it's not necessary to have sex by or near four dates, due to "purported" maturity. Having sex early in the dating process and maturity or adult-hood, aren't even close to being synonymous.
xpaperxcutx Posted March 27, 2010 Posted March 27, 2010 Troggle, why are you telling her it's a trend to have sex? It's only a trend if she wants casual sex and is willing to give it up so easily. The point isn't that she doesn't want sex, it's the fact that she still hasn't figured out whether having sex too early on will make her come off as easy or a booty call. 4 dates in 2 and a half months does not sound like much especially from the way he comes as aloof and uninterested. Apparently he hasn't even contacted her back yet. So she made the silly mistake of having the shirt come off. There's no point in chastising her for something that was unplanned. She doesn't owe the guy anything. She at least made the effort to apologize.
dazzle22 Posted March 27, 2010 Posted March 27, 2010 Women these days need to stop trying to morph into what men who have made absolutely NO commitment or statement of exclusivity to them say will meet the supposedly NORMAL man's desires. Typical male response to say this is the top shelf priority so "let's just get that out of the way". right....nice..then he moves on to the next gullable girl. This would mean we would be fine with casual sex, being treated like kleenex, and no commitment or expectations to even being called after sex. "Normal" for untold mellenia meant women also had to endure polygamy, and of course it still goes on to this day, even endorsed by certain religions. So let's stop worrying about what men think is "normal" and take care of ourselves, not get taken advantage of, and not be stupid when it comes to men.
troggleputty Posted March 27, 2010 Posted March 27, 2010 Hold it. She doesn't owe him sex. I never said she did (obviously), however, now that you mention it, I'd say that after four dates, from a practical standpoint, she probably does. If, that is, she wants to actually have a "real" relationship with this guy. If not, that's fine too. She should find a different guy who does not want to have sex with her. They can go out to dinners, horseback riding, etc., and sex simply won't be an issue between them. It's quite possible that at the age of 20 she's not really ready to have a mature adult relationship yet, that involves a healthy sex life with the other person, as well as an emotional connection. She just has to learn how to pace the dating experience, in the way that gets her to a level of comfort, enough to have sex with him. No, you're off the mark here rather entirely. What she needs to learn to do is 1) figure out what it is she actually wants and does not want out of a relationship at this point in her life--including the role of sex in it-- and 2) find someone else who wants the same kind of relationship and 3) be able to communicate what she wants to the other person. Unfortunately, like it or not, it's not the "job" of a potential relationship partner (using the current guy as an example) to help her "learn" how to "pace the dating experience," get her to a "level of comfort," etc. "to have sex with him." She can't really expect another person to be happy with her using him as "relationship practice." She didn't say she was uncomfortable to have sex with this guy. She said she wanted to have sex but was uncomfortable doing it right then because she was having her period. What that means is she should call him up as soon as her period is over and say "Let's get together again, at your place, for dinner." Then go to his place, have dinner, and have sex with him. Everyone wins. If she's an adult, who wants to be in an adult relationship, then she should have already figured these things out, for herself, anyway. If she is not ready for an adult relationship--which is quite possible--then is she is not ready to have sex with anyone, at all. (Even though she already apparently has had sex with other people.) No doubt she needs to own those pacing issues but she's learned something from this experience. There's no need to push her any further. No one pushed her at all. Why do you insist on portraying her as some kind of victim who is being "pushed" into sex against her will when that's not what she said at all? On the contrary her complaint seems to be that this guy is not pursuing her eagerly enough. He's not "pushing" hard enough, apparently. Look at her first post in this thread again. She wanted to have sex but only didn't because she was having her period. She never said she felt uncomfortable because this guy was pushing for sex too much. My point is that if she wants a relationship with this guy, and he is a typical normal male, she will have to have sex with him. Because that's what normal males like to do in relationships with women. If she doesn't want sex, fine, she doesn't "owe" that to him. Neither does he "owe" her a celibate relationship. Also, while your dating experiences "always" have led to sex by four dates, LOL, you're deliberately misreading what I've posted. First you wrongly implied that I said that she "owed" him sex, which I did not. I never said I "always" had sex by the fourth date, please re-read my post. What I said that any relationship that was going anywhere was sexual by the fourth date to some greater or lesser degree of satisfaction, or was definitely clearly trending in that direction. If not, what would be the point of a fifth date? if a woman isn't comfortable with doing so, it's not necessary to have sex by or near four dates, due to "purported" maturity. No, it's not necessary to have sex by the fourth date, nor is it necessary to have sex ever, I guess, if you don't really want to. I am personally unaware however of any satisfactory relationship which did not get reasonably sexual by the fourth or fifth date. And then after that things either heat up more or they cool. That's the way things work because that's how normal human beings behave. Having sex early in the dating process and maturity or adult-hood, aren't even close to being synonymous. It sounds like you are telling the OP that you do not think she is really mature enough to have sex with this guy, at least not this "early" (and I don't really think four or five dates is so "early" for most people) in her relationship. Well that's interesting but considering that her first post in the thread was about her wanting to have sex with him, I'm not sure why you think this is relevant. I do agree with you if you are saying immature people should not have sex early on in the dating process. However having sex early on in the dating process does not mean that a person is immature. So if you are saying that only mature people should have sex as early as four or five dates in the dating process, then I would have to agree with you. Is that what you are saying? That the OP is not mature enough yet to have sex with this guy? If so, why shouldn't she tell him that? "I don't owe you sex" and/or "I'm not mature enough to have sex with you this early in the relationship." Why aren't you advocating that she be honest with him? The reason is obvious: he will lose interest in her. Or at least this is the apparent fear. Who's playing games now?
troggleputty Posted March 27, 2010 Posted March 27, 2010 Troggle, why are you telling her it's a trend to have sex? It's not a trend to have sex. However, most relationships trend towards having sex. Since having sex is the biological purpose of a heterosexual relationship in the first place, it has to be this way. Why do you think her shirt came off in his bedroom on the fourth date? You don't think that shows the relationship was "trending towards" sex? It's only a trend if she wants casual sex and is willing to give it up so easily. The point isn't that she doesn't want sex, it's the fact that she still hasn't figured out whether having sex too early on will make her come off as easy or a booty call. Or maybe she simply doesn't like him that much. If she found him sufficiently attractive I suspect none of this would be much of an issue. She would have been very clear about why she didn't want to have sex (because of her period), taken a raincheck, and they would have made a follow up date for four or five days later. 4 dates in 2 and a half months does not sound like much especially from the way he comes as aloof and uninterested. Apparently he hasn't even contacted her back yet. Look she was the one who started off the thread talking about how much she supposedly wanted to have sex with this guy. If she doesn't, that's fine with me. She should move on and find someone she's more interested in. So she made the silly mistake of having the shirt come off. There's no point in chastising her for something that was unplanned. It wasn't a "mistake" and I didn't "chastise" her for taking her shirt off. She said she wanted to have sex with him, the only reason it didn't happen was because she was having her period. She doesn't owe the guy anything. She at least made the effort to apologize. No she doesn't "owe" him anything, neither does he "owe" her anything, but as far as I can tell she is the one with all the expectations of what he should be doing in terms of attempting to contact her, etc. Ladies, the lesson should be that: when you take your shirt off in a guy's bedroom, after making out with him on the fourth date where he has home cooked you dinner, to tease a guy but it doesn't lead anywhere, in the hope that you will keep him enticed by withholding sex so he won't think you're "easy," therefore you're a challenge by playing hard to get, please don't get too irritated if the guy simply loses interest.
troggleputty Posted March 27, 2010 Posted March 27, 2010 Women these days need to stop trying to morph into what men who have made absolutely NO commitment or statement of exclusivity to them say will meet the supposedly NORMAL man's desires. Maybe they need to stop taking their shirts off in a man's bedroom if they have no real desire or intention of having sex with him. Maybe they should stop acting in an overtly sexually provocative way and then pretending to be surprised if the man builds an expectation that the relationship will continue along those lines. Typical male response to say this is the top shelf priority so "let's just get that out of the way". right....nice..then he moves on to the next gullable girl. No. The typical male response, after having wined & dined a woman on several occasions, then made her a home cooked dinner, then retired to the bedroom for a make out session, then her shirt has come off, is to think: "Great! I like her, I want to have sex with her, and it's pretty clear she must like me and want to have sex with me, also." This would mean we would be fine with casual sex, being treated like kleenex, and no commitment or expectations to even being called after sex. Well we know all about your likes and dislikes now don't we. "Normal" for untold mellenia meant women also had to endure polygamy, and of course it still goes on to this day, even endorsed by certain religions. So let's stop worrying about what men think is "normal" and take care of ourselves, not get taken advantage of, and not be stupid when it comes to men. Let me repeat what I thought to be more than obvious: Ladies, don't take your shirts off in a man's bedroom and expect him not to want to have sex with you.
mrt336 Posted March 27, 2010 Posted March 27, 2010 Well this is pretty far off from the original intention of the thread. Anyway, Marsle, I think that was a good message to send, about horseback riding. Are you going to bring up anything on the date? Concerning that you'd like to see him more often, or ask whether he's dating other girls?
tiffy123 Posted March 27, 2010 Posted March 27, 2010 (edited) Going back to the original thread message, if you’re contemplating on having a serious relationship with him, what’s the point of making a big secret about a biological cycle? Assuming he’s not a dork, he can very well understand what menstruation is. If both of you are single and wants booty time together you can always reschedule dating sans tampons. Tease or not, I'd say go gurl, take your shirt off and make him squirm! Edited March 27, 2010 by tiffy123
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