onewillburn Posted March 24, 2010 Posted March 24, 2010 I probably won't, but I contemplated it for the first time in a while. Something along the lines of "Maybe we can try to be friends". But I don't know why I'm feeling like this. Partially, it's because of how totally weird and twisted I feel about how my life is going. Sometimes, I feel like I'm on this great road to new heights but I never quite arrive at the places I want to. I've been working so hard on my current hobbies (music and fitness) and have even recently branched out into writing for the first time in a while. But it seems that I feel stuck in life, no matter how hard I work. The people I play music with don't compare to my old band. We don't click and we're hardly getting anywhere with the songs we're working on. I'm auditioning for another band this weekend, though. But in the mean time, she has joined a band, has played shows, etc. I'm the one who taught her how to play guitar. It's so embarrassing to see her almost living my life. It's equally embarrassing that I care, but it's hard not to. She's swept up literally all of my old friends that she never even talked to or knew. After we broke up, she's talking to them a lot and whatever, which seemed random as hell. I didn't care that much, because I knew that she was doing it out of some kind of mind game or competition. But I made new friends. I crawled into an empty space and created something new out of nothing. I made a lot of new friends and even still probably have the upper hand with my old friends, because they were my friends first. But today I was browsing the myspace of another friend of mine who has a band out of state. A while ago he asked me if I could get him a show in town for their tour and I said I would, but we lost contact for a while because I deleted my myspace. Today I see that his band is now playing a show at her house. Which means she must have went out of her way to contact him and set it up because he didn't know her at all. That, for whatever reason, threw me for a loop and finally got to me. I work so hard and it seems the odds are always against me. Music is my thing and I'll always play it, but it's become so increasingly hard to avoid her and she keeps ****ing with people from my life. Why is she doing this? I can't stand the insanity of it all, it almost feels like a competition. Like I'm being summoned to show her how much better I am. I just want to move on and play music and not worry about this ****. It's like the more I just keep moving on and minding my business, the more I learn she has interfered in another aspect of my life.
sedgwick Posted March 24, 2010 Posted March 24, 2010 Wow, that's bizarre. Who does that?! My ex dumped me for not being a musician (like he is) and I immediately went total NC with all his friends. Deleted them from fb, etc. I didn't want to know anything about him, and I wanted to get on with living my own life. I could have learned to play an instrument and started hanging out with his friends, I suppose, but why would I want to do that when I have my own interests? I decided to simply become as good as I could at what I love (dance, writing) and have been successful with both. One reason I refused to jump on the music thing is that I wouldn't want him to think I was doing it just to spite him (or win him back.) It sounds like this is what your ex is doing. Why wouldn't she want to develop her own personality and her own interests, and hang out with her own friends? Really, it all seems kind of pathetic to me.
Rearden Metal Posted March 24, 2010 Posted March 24, 2010 It's VERY pathetic, and plainly obvious that she's rubbing it in your face. Don't contact. Do talk to your friends that you care to keep. Don't mention her. Just move on and do what you're doing. And find a new band. That should be fun and natural, not work.
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