fiyah Posted March 24, 2010 Posted March 24, 2010 background: i met this girl a couple times and had a 10-min conversation or so...not really flirting but had a couple laughs type of thing. i have her email because we met through a work-related type of connection. i don't mind just asking a girl out, but i figure by sending 1-2 emails before asking her out might reduce the chance that she just writes me off as some creep from the get-go. my email: i send her an email a couple days after our conversation and just thanked her for what she did regarding our work-related activities. i commented on a TV show she was so passionate about and asked her if she was up to anything exciting this week and told her some of my travel plans later this week. her email: she made brief comment on TV show and then the rest of her email was on our work-related connection and said she hoped we'd work more together, told me to have a good trip, but she didn't answer my question about what she was up to this week. by not answering my only question about her personal life and what she was up to, is this the female way of saying: great working with you but not interested in sharing any personal stuff and not interested in a date? or am i just thinking too much into her response and there is the chance that she just looked over my email kinda quickly or for whatever reason and didn't get the hint that by me asking her a non-work related question that i am interested in her? should i ask her out anyways?
The Paper Knight Posted March 24, 2010 Posted March 24, 2010 rest of her email was on our work-related connection and said she hoped we'd work more together this still could go either way, hold off on the second email and wait until you meet again over work by not answering my only question about her personal life and what she was up to, is this the female way of saying: great working with you but not interested in sharing any personal stuff and not interested in a date? yes, but only not at this moment should i ask her out anyways? no, just wait, be cool - you will see her again so you can pay it out
boogieboy Posted March 24, 2010 Posted March 24, 2010 You cant ask her out over email, especially if you dont know if she would say yes. You have to do it in person, or you look like a wimp. Asking her over email shows low confidence. Find a way to see her in person so you can TALK to her. BTW you blew it, she's not interested, she prolly sees you as non-confident right now and if you try again she will avoid the question. Might want to wait a month.
torranceshipman Posted March 24, 2010 Posted March 24, 2010 You know, she might not be interested now, but who knows what might happen after you guys have worked together a lot and got to know each other? A lot of girls need to get to know someone properly in order to fall for them, as then they know their personality better, can have the chance to experience conversations, etc, and work out how compatible they are, plus that familiarity, respect, etc that can come from getting to know someone over time. Right now there is nothing but initial attraction and thats not enough for some people. I'd just let things happen over time...
DustySaltus Posted March 24, 2010 Posted March 24, 2010 If you're going to do it, you have to do it in person at this point. I personally would not date someone I work with. I had hooked my friend up with my secretary a few years back, he slept with her twice and never called her again. Meanwhile, I've been working with her for 5 years.... Just saying....
Author fiyah Posted March 25, 2010 Author Posted March 25, 2010 jeeez, that sounds like so much work. you're telling me i have to wait and "be cool", try to get a chance to talk to her in person in a work-related setting, and then eventually find just the right moment to ask her out after we've had a chance to build some chemistry??? its hard to manipulate all that in a work setting...i might not even see her for another 2 months. seems like so much work.
TaraMaiden Posted March 25, 2010 Posted March 25, 2010 You've just answered your own question. if a 'get together' seems too much like hard work, then it's probably not worth pursuing. is it?
Author fiyah Posted March 25, 2010 Author Posted March 25, 2010 (edited) You cant ask her out over email, especially if you dont know if she would say yes. You have to do it in person, or you look like a wimp. Asking her over email shows low confidence. Find a way to see her in person so you can TALK to her. BTW you blew it, she's not interested, she prolly sees you as non-confident right now and if you try again she will avoid the question. Might want to wait a month. How is sending a friendly email showing lack of confidence? We dont work at the same agency; we just happened to meet through work. Since we arent going to be bumping into eachother anytime soon why is emailing signaling low confidence when the alternative is waiting until our paths magically cross again. Isnt it taking the initiative? Edited March 25, 2010 by fiyah
bac Posted March 25, 2010 Posted March 25, 2010 background: i met this girl a couple times and had a 10-min conversation or so...not really flirting but had a couple laughs type of thing. i have her email because we met through a work-related type of connection. i don't mind just asking a girl out, but i figure by sending 1-2 emails before asking her out might reduce the chance that she just writes me off as some creep from the get-go. I think you are fine. You are doing the right thing. Go with flow, if you feel that it is good to take it slow, take it slow, but not too slow. It is OK that she did not answer the question because it was kind of a small talk question. It is fine to ask a girl out either in person or by email. It is not OK to miss the oportunity because of fear.
Recommended Posts