whichwaytogo Posted March 24, 2010 Posted March 24, 2010 Marriage vs. life partnerships.... i am trying to decide a few things. what are your opinions on both? what made you choose one over the other? does anyone here know of the legalities if your partner and you end up having kids if you dont go the traditional marriage route? trying to decide which one is best.
ADF Posted March 25, 2010 Posted March 25, 2010 Marriage vs. life partnerships.... i am trying to decide a few things. what are your opinions on both? what made you choose one over the other? does anyone here know of the legalities if your partner and you end up having kids if you dont go the traditional marriage route? trying to decide which one is best. Marriage confers significant legal protections on people. What those protections are vary from state to state, but they are always significant. For example, in my state (Illinois), when a married couples buys their primary residence, they can take possession of it under a rule called Tenancy in the Entirety. It is an involved concept, but what it boils down to is this. If either partner accumulates debt, creditors may NOT force the sale of the couple's home to pay that debt. Even is they are broke, they won't be homeless. That is a significant legal protection ONLY available to legally married couples.
sally4sara Posted March 25, 2010 Posted March 25, 2010 Marriage confers significant legal protections on people. What those protections are vary from state to state, but they are always significant. Or trappings, depending on who you chose to marry .
ADF Posted March 25, 2010 Posted March 25, 2010 Or trappings, depending on who you chose to marry . The "trappings" are actually similar, regardless of whether a couple is married or not. Granted, breakups between unmarried people are usually less legally contentious. But this is only because unmarried couples are far less likely to take their greivances to court. But if they do, the results are similar. For example, there is a famous California case involving the late actor Lee Marvin and his life partner of many years. I won't go into all the details, but the bottom line is people who cohabitate for long periods of time can claim many of the same rights as legal spouses, including a right to property division and even maintenance (alimony).
Author whichwaytogo Posted March 26, 2010 Author Posted March 26, 2010 well, my question comes from my long time partner wanting a baby. now, i want one as well but i guess i am asking whether this is a good idea without being married. been married 2x before and both ended badly (cheating spouse on his part). i have come to realize that 'marriage' doesnt 'protect' one from being cheated on. these days, it just doesnt feel like security that i once thought it was. but, i also dont want to get into a legal position if we have a child and then part ways later. i want to be sure that i am protected that way (him taking responsibility if we do break up with a child). but, on the other hand, i dont want to feel 'trapped' if i am married and lets say, 10 years from now, find the relationship is not working. it is much messier to leave if there is marriage there.
CarrieT Posted March 26, 2010 Posted March 26, 2010 I do think it is more important to consider the legal side of marriage when/if children are introduced to the relationship. I have never wanted children so after my divorce, over 20 years ago, I did not see a reason to ever introduce the concept of a marriage certificate to any of my long term relationships. My longest -- 12 years -- DID involve Powers of Attorney for both of us though. THAT is important; if one of you is in an accident and you are not legally married, you may not have any legal bearings to see them in a hospital or help make important decisions involving such things. If you are in a coma, your girlfriend will not have any rights to be able to advise the doctors about your care. As your wife, she would. So if you don't get married, at least get Powers of Attorney for the both of you.
Author whichwaytogo Posted March 26, 2010 Author Posted March 26, 2010 great point carriet.. didnt think about that one!
saltnpepper Posted March 26, 2010 Posted March 26, 2010 State laws differ. Have to consider health decisions, property disposition, financial, breakup, move to other states, insurance. I strongly suggest talking to an excellent domestic relations attorney & setting up an agreement. I'm not too big on marriage at teh moment.
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