Brightmoon Posted March 27, 2010 Posted March 27, 2010 The old "it's not you, it's me". What he's saying is there's nothing wrong with you, but that he doesn't have feelings for you anymore. And that he cares about you, so he's deflecting the blame to himself by putting himself down. Effectively, letting you off the hook. There's nothing you can SAY that will change his mind. But there is something you can DO. It's called NC. Disappear. Vanish. Block everything, don't answer texts, calls or emails unless they explicitly say "I made a mistake. I want to make things better. I lost focus and will do X,Y,Z to make things work between us. I want you back and I'll never let go. I love you." If any part of that is missing, he's full of sh*t. The reason he's contacting you is because you give him attention. Other people are busy or not responding and he needs his fix. Good thing there's HopelessRomance to answer the call! HopelessRomance... I am sorry you are going through this... You are doing really well though. You have a good head on your shoulders. What Rearden Metal says is spot on. This guy is a cake eater. You are his safety net till he does not need one... and as you rightly predict, that will be horrendeously painful ...when you are truly dispensable to him. Your instinct is so right .. that you don't want the friends thing. .. and he should be less selfish respect that. Good luck with everything.. and once again, you are doing so well..
Author HopelessRomance Posted April 2, 2010 Author Posted April 2, 2010 We got back together the other day. We had a big talk. The main point was he said I still make him happy and he misses spending time with me and a relationship shouldn't be over till you don't make each other happy anymore. It has gone well so far. We are going out with some of his friends tomorrow night and he wants to buy me tickets to a music festival in a few months so he doesn't seem to have intentions to change his mind soon but I am prepared if he does. I know he is still confused about his feelings for me and where they are going so I will understand if the time comes when he realises he doesn't see me that way. In the mean time I am going to enjoy the time I spend with him and try to build myself a stable life so it doesn't all fall apart if I lose him again. Wish me luck =)
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