Kevinds Posted March 23, 2010 Posted March 23, 2010 There is a girl that I am seeing, so far I have seen her 9 times ago during the whole month as a date, however, when I attempt to kiss her she tells me she only wants to be friends, however, for me I prefer to have a romantic relationship with her. I do enjoy her company, but should I continue our platonic relationship of "only friends" even when I prefer to have a romantic relationship with her? I also paid every bill so far when I have met her each time. Or does it mean I just need to give her more time before she would commit to anything.
counterman Posted March 23, 2010 Posted March 23, 2010 If she says she only wants to be friends, then she only wants to be friends. If you still want a romantic relationship with her, I do not think it would be a good idea to still continue being friends. Only be friends if that's what you really want as well. If you want something else, you're setting yourself up for real disappointment. Personally, I would hang out with other friends and move on to the next girl.
Caramelize Posted March 23, 2010 Posted March 23, 2010 Kevinds, It sounds like she is using you. When I go out with my 'friends' as friends or even with my girl friends I pay my own way for movie, dinners or drinks. Sometimes I buy for a friend a drink. I never expect them to pay for me all the time. Even with my ex, initially he paid but then eventually I paid for some!
ADF Posted March 23, 2010 Posted March 23, 2010 She's told you very clearly she's not interested in you. You need to respect that. There are always going to be women you find attractive who, for whatever reason, aren't going to be interested in you. If you can accept that, be her friend. If being around her is going to torture you, don't. But don't fall into this trap of thinking if you're just persistent enough, she'll change her mind. It doesn't work like that.
phineas Posted March 23, 2010 Posted March 23, 2010 And stop paying for her when you go out. If a woman just wants to be friends then treat her like one. Occasionally i'll treat my long time friends to food & beer but these are people i've known for over 20yrs. I've made a few female friends since my seperation. I've barely known them a yr. I'm not dateing any of them & I do not pay for them if we do anything.
boogieboy Posted March 23, 2010 Posted March 23, 2010 Dont waste any more time with her, she will never be physically attracted to you for a real relationship. In fact, she is probably seeing someone now, but hasnt told you about it yet. When she does, it will hurt. Dont ever talk to her again, and dont tell her why either. She is using you for company only.
TaraMaiden Posted March 23, 2010 Posted March 23, 2010 Kevinds.... she's really being very rude. She's not into you, she will never be in to you, and she has made it quite plain that she does not want anything more than what she has now. A bottomless and convenient walking wallet. Next time you see her, tell her, "Hey look, it's ok, I realise you just want to be friends, and so, ok, I'm cool with that! I'm not going to push this any further, and I'm happy for us to just hang out and do stuff together. Tell you what, as a measure of my sincerity, and to show I have completely accepted your decision, (and I respect it, totally!) we'll go out to dinner tonight, and I'll let you pay!" See Jane. See how she runs a mile. See how you can't see her for dust.....
carhill Posted March 23, 2010 Posted March 23, 2010 A fiscally conservative attention whore? Since she wants to be friends, I'm sure she'll have positive opinions of the ladies you seek for *dating*; I mean, that's what friends are for, to support, love and show interest in your life, right? I'll bet she's none of those things. Attention whores never are. Imagine the other 21 days when other 'friends' are paying her freight. Feels good, huh?
boogieboy Posted March 24, 2010 Posted March 24, 2010 A fiscally conservative attention whore? Since she wants to be friends, I'm sure she'll have positive opinions of the ladies you seek for *dating*; I mean, that's what friends are for, to support, love and show interest in your life, right? I'll bet she's none of those things. Attention whores never are. Imagine the other 21 days when other 'friends' are paying her freight. Feels good, huh? Exactly, if she wants to be "friends", tell her to hook you up with one of her friends. If she wont do that, call her out on not really being a true friend. And then call her out for being a liar. Using the friend excuse for using you for company instead of just saying that she wont ever be interested in you.
sally4sara Posted March 24, 2010 Posted March 24, 2010 Don't stay friends if you want more. It won't be an honest friendship, you won't be able to feel happy for her if she meets someone she really likes. Plus, she knows you want more. If you stick around for her friend crumbs, you are saying to yourself that you will settle for less than what you want. Not a great mantra. There is no reason to not stay distantly friendly; you might run into her when you're out and she might have some girl friends you'd like. But if you were her bestest buddy and privy to all her personal life, you will come off like her territory to her friends. Just be a friendly face, but not an active friend.
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