lofi_tokyo Posted March 23, 2010 Posted March 23, 2010 This guy and I see each other once a week at a social function, and we've been flirting through texts/facebook messages. He suggested the other night that we go get drinks together sometime. I told him that I was free most evenings, but then the conversation went elsewhere. So he asked me out - sort of - but we never set a date! Does that mean anything? His body language suggests he's definitely interested - as does his flirting, but I don't know... in my experience, if a guy isn't really jumping at me right away, its not a good sign.
MalachiX Posted March 23, 2010 Posted March 23, 2010 As a guy, I can see two possabilities: 1. He likes you but is shy. He basically wanted to verify that you were indeed interested in him so he asked you out to test the waters without a real idea of when or where that would be. He thought there was a chance you might turn him down so he didn't say anything specific. Now that he knows your interested, he's probably planning an appropriate first date. Just give him a little time and let him proceed at a pace which he's comfortable with. 2. He's not interested in you romatically but, since you've been flirting with him, he felt obligated to ask you out. For the record, I think the first option is A LOT more likely than the second.
Author lofi_tokyo Posted March 24, 2010 Author Posted March 24, 2010 Thanks Malachi - this calms me down a bit. I really like the guy, but like I said, I'm used to either being asked out right away, or not having anything happen at all. I guess I'll have to be patient with this one.
tincanman99 Posted March 24, 2010 Posted March 24, 2010 He is just shy and nervous. This is an indirect way of asking you out without having to do it. It was either spur of the moment or he was just trying to appear casual. If you reacted negatively (which I am not saying you did) its easy for him not to do anything. Some men dont understand that its women need a specific time and place on the table so you can decide. Instead they appear wishy washy and indecisive which many women dont like. I speak from experience because I used to do this till I found out that most women hate it.
carhill Posted March 24, 2010 Posted March 24, 2010 Next time he shoves more electrons at you, respond only "Call me". If he can't muster the balls to call a woman who wants him to and ask her on a date, he's not worth your time
MalachiX Posted March 25, 2010 Posted March 25, 2010 Thanks Malachi - this calms me down a bit. I really like the guy, but like I said, I'm used to either being asked out right away, or not having anything happen at all. I guess I'll have to be patient with this one. If you like the guy and don't mind if he's shy, I don't see any problem in you taking the initiative. If he's anything like me, my guess is that his mindset is something like this: I think she likes me. She's acting like she likes me. She's obviously giving me signals that she likes me. I really should do something to let her know I'm interested. If I don't do something soon, she's gonna lose interest. I've gotta do something now. "HEY YOU WANNA GO OUT!?!?!?!?" Oh my god. She said yes! Now what the hell do I do? I guess now we go out. But where? When? I need some more time to think about this... You get the idea. He's probably planning something but I'm sure he'd be thrilled for anything you suggest. He'll still want to give you an evening of romance which he plans at some point but, if you're tired of waiting, inviting him to do something low-key is fine.
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