lookAlive Posted March 23, 2010 Posted March 23, 2010 Ok here's the deal. I have known this girl for more than a year. We met and initially I got a vibe that she wanted to pursue it, hung out til last spring semester's end and then asked her out to dinner. She said she had liked me a lot, but wasn't ready yet but still wanted to be friendly and such. Our connection kind of faded out until the end of the semester. I liked her a lot, but understood her reasons. It was just before a summer break where we would be distanced. Coming into this year we kept talking. I knew I still liked her a lot but figured I would just let her decided what she wanted, otherwise I'd be beating myself up. My friends agreed. We hooked up a couple of times over this past school year, drunk. Our relationship was never really defined, and I feel like we were both pretty confused for awhile. I knew I wanted to pursue it but she was confused as to what she wanted. Eventually I was told by friends of hers and mine to move on. So I came out of it feeling like I had learned, but kind of broken myself down after getting too invested. Recently she's had a change of heart. We've hung out and her friends suggested she wanted to maybe go on a date or something. I interpret this as her wanting to pursue it so I asked her out on one recently and I'm going to see where it goes. My friends take on it is that a "Define the Relationship" talk is long overdue and that it needs to happen after the date. Personally, I have full intentions of having that talk soon, but I feel like after the first date may come off a little freakish/pushy. Yes, we've known each other for a year, but we're going into a different phase it appears. When would you suggest? I don't want to screw myself but I know I need to respect myself first. I'm thinking a couple days after the date and hanging out this weekend.. Of course letting it come naturally.
MalachiX Posted March 23, 2010 Posted March 23, 2010 I would wait for a few dates. Forget your history and treat it like a new relationship in which your starting from scratch. Don't take anything for granted and approach these dates as you would with someone new you were dating. If things go well then have the talk with her in a few weeks. I would seriously suggest AGAINST having it right after your first date. If she's been hesitant about commitment before, it seems like a very bad idea for you to sit down and have the relationship talk with her right after she throws you an olive branch.
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