Need encouragement

[wierdmunky]

In parent/child relationships. Idk what is normal. I don't know where exactly to draw the line, as far as taking verbal jabs from them. I also don't know how to get myself out of this hole of a situation, and am SO scared of making changes, I don't even know where to start. I want to move out, support myself, and go to school. Finding a job right now doesn't seem hopeful : / and I feel really weighed down by the fact I still live at home.

 

It seems no one understands me here. I'm thankful for all the financial support they have given me, but I want to leave. I'm really scared of taking the step out there. What if I can't keep the job I get, what if things don't work out and I might have to move back home...

 

I'm tired of trying make it work here. I admit, I get lazy and lethargic somedays when I can relax, and then I feel bad about myself because I didn't take advantage of the time I had.

 

I know my parents mean well. But as far as emotional support, which is what I need, I can't seem to get any from them, and I feel just beaten down, and down-trodden, and a little discouraged. I'm not sure what I'm supposed to do next. I just want opportunities. I'm shy, and I'm tired of reassuring the parents that I respect them. They should already know by now.

[Whyme_wtf]

It truly is hard to take that first step at times.

Trust me, Once you take that step however, the other foot will follow.

I was in a similar situation. Shy, quiet, limited circle.

Once you find how and where you want to go, "Just do it"

Yes, it is a bit scary of a thought. But the results are truly wonderful.

You will learn about yourself. You will grow in many ways you never imagined. You certainly can do whatever you set your heart and mind to.

Accepting and supportive parents or people will certainly help when you ask for it.

The fact that you are thinking about it and don't know what to do or how to just means you don't have a clear enough vision on it yet. It will come.

I have taken leaps many times and am happy and glad I did for each of them. Even in the ones that did not come out the way I thought, the experience and the learning were unsurpassed!

Best of Luck!

 

 

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that frightens us most. We ask ourselves, 'Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and famous?' Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that people won't feel insecure around you. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in all of us. And when we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others"

~Maryanne Williamson

[taurusincus]

Welcome to the world kid!It is a sure sign of growing up ,that desperate desire to 'come of age'.Most of us grow through it and if we act upon our desires constructively then it ultimately leads to greater things,more growth.

 

Even your parents would appreciate if you take this step leading towards self reliance.if you think they do not understand your feelings then tell them so and be more demonstrative in expressing your love towards them.

Communication is the key to better relationships.

 

And yes do not be in a state of inertia,take that first step.

[MrsPeaSoup]

Hey WM,

 

I know exactly what you mean. It's not that I'm exactly in the same situation as you are, but I definately can relate to you.

 

What really helped was just to start.

 

Start, for example, making a list of your goals: short-term and long-term.

Then just turn down these feelings that have kept holding you back for so long and just mindlessly work down the list.

Do not start doubting, it will take you right back to the beginning.

 

In time you'll see that it will go easier.

And about your parents, I think that if they see that you are taking care of yourself and what you want to become, their respect for you will rise and you will not have to explain them how you feel about them any more.

 

Good luck Keep posting on LS if you need more advice, we're here for you!

[wierdmunky]

Thanks for the positive responses. I truly appreciate them all. I'm scared because I hear that it just keeps getting harder and harder. When I look at my parent's life, it just looks like ongoing days of blah. work. stress. And, that is basically all they talk about. They are all work. I almost feel like, how am I supposed to walk into life, expecting better. I expect the worst. That I fall flat on my face. Because I don't even feel half as good as they are.That hasn't stopped from trying anyway..

 

School, has been doing ok so far. I'm getting the AA finally this year. The thing is I feel like, I've messed up a little. I dated someone for 7 yrs, thinking we were going to get married, we got engaged, and then we broke up. I'm back home now, full time school.

 

My dad was diagnosed with cancer probably 2 months before that, so I never really got any support from the parents, family friends. Understandable, given the other circumstances and they all couldn't disagree more with my ex-f and his family. The only thing I got was a talk from my dad saying "you're going to look back, and see that this was the easiest thing." I'm not too sure what he meant by that. I know what the sentence means, but there's not much to hang on to. This is 7 years of my life though, and it meant a lot to me, and it also hurt and set me back pretty badly. This is one thing I hold against them. That they fought me through the entire relationship, and even until the end, when I chose them over him, they didn't show empathy.

 

Fast fwd to today. That was 2 yrs ago, and I'm over the GUY, but I feel I don't get treated the same. I want to go into architecture or industrial design if it would be anyway possible after the AA. I'm ridiculously scared of what could happen though. My dad keeps reminding me that how to pick a major is to try to predict the economy. He says that everyone will always need health care. He keeps pushing it. My little sister will be graduating with a Nursing degree, and I am really proud of her, but also can't help FEEL the tension here. This is another thing I'm dealing with inside..

 

I'm 28 now, and I still get carded everywhere, so going to school and blending in isn't even an issue. My issue is, is it worth to go for this? I would love it, if I succeeded. I don't know how I'd pick myself up if I failed.

 

The last thing is, feeling I'm not good enough for a relationship again. I hear that I'm good looking, and I hear that I have a lot to offer, but I never believe them, in fact whenever I DO hear it, I slightly question them in my head, and it pushes me more to hopefully BE that.

 

A lot of my friends have kids already, and are living life, but a lot of them have the same complaints I do. With stress and life, so I see that having JUST a relationship/kids might not be enough for me, this is what makes me want to push also.

 

Every time I'm around church I feel looked down on. The most I can do is hold my head up, and try to make this better, but in the back of my mind I still feel it's too late.