Author KewlBum Posted April 3, 2010 Author Posted April 3, 2010 Don't send any letters, don't contact her, forget about the relationship its over, its done, its finished. Probably forever. Time to move on bro. There's other women in the world one that wont do this bull**** to you. Shes not the one, she left you. No sense in pursuing any further. I know it hurts but.... give up on this one. I know the relationship is over, I know we'll never get back together, and we'll probably never be friends either...not real friends anyways. I just really want her to read the letter though. I feel that if she read it, she'll understand where I was coming from. I don't want her to live the rest of her life thinking that her first love was some a-hole. If she reads the letter and understands why i did the things I did, maybe she won't hate me anymore. If she reads and and doesn't understand my perspective on things, then fine. I won'tbe happy, but I know I had done all that I could and would be able to move on much easier. All I want is for her to read the letter, that's it.
EYECANDY000 Posted April 3, 2010 Posted April 3, 2010 (edited) You are contradicting yourself. First you state that you know for sure she won't contact you, but in the same sentance you say the opposite. My point that I was making in my last post got overlooked. It doesn't matter if that sentance was in the subject line, beginning, ending, in the paragraph. The point is don't send it. But it seems like you are really adament about sending the email.and I'm quite sure shell read it. Besides people are curious to know why there ex is contacting them and what they have to say. Now, whether she responds or not is the doozy. I mean honestly you can pour your heart out in a email, tell her you cry every day because everything reminds you of her, but if she doesn't feel the same way then what's the point of her responding back? Which I'm sure she wouldn't. Lastly, if you want to send that email and wait around for her to respond then send it. If you want to continue to hurt instead of heal then send it. But no good will come from you sending her an email explaing your feelings. Don't wait a month, to send it, just don't send it. Noone can tell you what to do with your life and relationship, but listen to the advice on here. People aren't just giving advice for the hell of it. I, myself am speaking from experience. This is my first heartbreak and I am 28 years old. A few months ago I took it so hard, to the point I was a total mess. I cried all day. I cried at work, home, outings.. I was hurting.. I posted on here a lot and asked for advice , which in return I got great advice. My friends were there for me, and gave me the tough love which I needed. Stop asking the same questions over and over again about the relationship. At this point its over... and leave it at that. No need for explanation. She knows how you were. Just leave it Edited April 3, 2010 by EYECANDY000
Pfiend101 Posted April 3, 2010 Posted April 3, 2010 Don't worry about whether she hates you or not. You should be the one that hates her. What he said about not healing if you send it its true. I broke three months of NC just to rip my heart open again. Just tell yourself its her loss and never look back.
Author KewlBum Posted April 4, 2010 Author Posted April 4, 2010 Why should I hate her? I'm the one who made the mistakes. Sure she definitely handled the breakup and postbreakup in a selfish way, but still, it's not enough for me to hate her. I just know I won't be able to move on without explaining the reasons for my actions. The best way for me to do that is in a letter. The last time we talked, she she didn't want to talk about our relationship ever. But she's already at least semi-changed her mind on like 3 things since our breakup. I think if I send her the letter in a month, she'll be alot more willing to read it. The letter is not intended to get her back or to make it easier to be friends with her. It is simply to try and get her to understand where I was coming from. If she reads the letter and does understand, then perfect. If she reads it and nothing has changed and she still thinks I'm a bit of an a-hole, then fine. I won't like that but at least I know that I did all that I could, and I'd be able to move on a lot easier. And whether I send the letter or not, I'll still be trying to move on the best I can, nothing would change. The only thing different is if I do go the letter route, then in one month I'll send the letter. Everything before and after that would be the same as if I dont intend to send the letter. I know it's stupid, but I do believe at least trying to get her to understand will help me move on a lot easier. I would send the letter right now if I knew she would read it, but she won't. Doing it a month from now gives me a better chance that she'll read it. Anyways, when the month comes, I'll send it. But in the meantime I'm trying my hardest not to think about her. It's real hard...I think about her constantly. One of the things that I've been trying to tell myself is that it was never going to work out in the long run anyways, so her breaking up with me is doing me a favor. We are different people, very different. Almost nothing in common, and for alot of things we were just the complete opposite in. Alot of fights started because of that. And even putting the fights aside, there had to be lots of compromise on both sides due to our very different nature. I'm trying to tell myself that if she never broke up with me, then maybe we'd be able to stay together for another year, or 2 years, or 5 years. But in the end, because of the fact that we are so different, we never would've worked out. So even if we stayed together for a very long time, we would eventually end up splitting anyways. So better to do that now instead of staying together and breaking up years from now. By doing it now, I guess you could say I wouldn't be wasting those years. That I could use these years to find someone else that I'm alot more compatible with.
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