Dodgers27 Posted March 29, 2010 Posted March 29, 2010 Exactly. And I just can't delete her from msn...just in case she wants to talk to me while we're both on. Actually, I want to know if she's deleted me from msn, but I have no way of knowing. When you delete people on msn, there's regular deleting but then there's also deleting+blocking. If you just delete someone then they don't know when you're online cuz they dont have you on their contact list but you can still see when they are online. If she adds in the block then you won't be able to see when she's online. I've watched her delete people on msn before, and she never includes the block. So I have no idea if she's deleted me on msn or not. I've seen her sign in yesterday and today so I know she hasn't blocked me...but she might've still deleted me. Makes me sad if I know she did... Yeah I know what you mean, it will drive you mad wondering, lol. My ex deleted me from Facebook after I told her I was glad it was making her feel like **** that her parents were taking my side in the breakup because they liked me so much and I've still talked to her mom a few times since the breakup (a moral victory if there was one! haha), but we are still friends on Myspace (she's never on it) and she was still following me on Twitter and vice versa (though I'm NEVER on it besides when i use to go on it for her) before I said something on Twitter that made her delete me from there (it wasn't bad, just sad). So I still check her myspace every once and a while just to see if she's ever on it, but she's not. There are just so many memories of doing everything with her and it's hard to forget them. I miss just talking to her on AIM every day
Author KewlBum Posted March 29, 2010 Author Posted March 29, 2010 It angers me how she dealt with this...so much. How she just pulled a complete 180 on me and refuses to talk to me to get any sense of closure. It's not fair. And I know life is not fair. But still... I was your first love...the love was intense...how could you do this to me?
skydiveaddict Posted March 30, 2010 Posted March 30, 2010 It angers me how she dealt with this...so much. How she just pulled a complete 180 on me and refuses to talk to me to get any sense of closure. It's not fair. And I know life is not fair. But still... I was your first love...the love was intense...how could you do this to me? there's no way to tell cruelty comes in many forms
Author KewlBum Posted March 30, 2010 Author Posted March 30, 2010 So I was thinking of her...again. And this time it was too much. I needed to do something, anything. So I got on my computer and wrote a letter, just venting and stuff...with no intention of actually sending it to her. I wrote down why I fell in love with her. I wrote down I know I made mistakes but for her to put herself in my shoes. I wrote down all my thoughts and feelings that led to me making those mistakes and for her to just look at it from my perspective. It says that yes they were my fault but to at least look where I was coming from so she could understand why I did the things I did. I also wrote down why this past month has been so hard, not only because of the breakup, but how she handled it. I wrote down that even though I wasn't perfect, that I knew I was still a great boyfriend. I listed stuff that I knew I was amazing at and stuff I knew made me a good boyfriend. I wrote down how I wish she would've given me another chance. I described a situation early in our relationship that describes how amazing she thought I was and how lucky she was to have me. I wrote that it would be like again except this time I wouldn't make the same mistakes afterwards that led to her breaking up with me. I would make her so happy. That if only she gave me another chance, then I would've shown her why she fell in love with me in the first place. I don't know...it felt good writing that down. But now I can't bear to delete it. Now all I want to do is send it to her. And normally I would, except last week I told her I wouldn't contact her again after she requested it. So now I'm stuck. I want so badly for her to read what I wrote, particularly the part about me going into detail on why I did the things I did and for her to put herself in my shoes so she'd would have a better understanding. I feel like if she read it, then she wouldn't be as angry (her last texts were angry texts), maybe she'll understand more, and maybe she'll at least want to talk to me again.
Dodgers27 Posted March 30, 2010 Posted March 30, 2010 Whatever you do, do not send that letter to her. I know you think it will make you feel better, but not knowing how she feels about that might be better than her finally just crushing you. I REALLY want to ask my ex about a certain night where I didn't go with her to a party for her best friends birthday, because I feel like that's the night where everything started changing, but I can't see it ending well. That and she doesn't want to be friends with me. That's cool right? But yeah, don't send it, I can't see that ending well. Writing your stuff out makes you feel better, I know that feeling. It's why I wrote my stuff out on here, and before that a few Tweets on my Twitter than no one follows. I like writing, and I'm thinking about writing a story about her and myself, though I don't think anyone would want to read it, lol.
Author KewlBum Posted March 30, 2010 Author Posted March 30, 2010 Whatever you do, do not send that letter to her. I know you think it will make you feel better, but not knowing how she feels about that might be better than her finally just crushing you. I REALLY want to ask my ex about a certain night where I didn't go with her to a party for her best friends birthday, because I feel like that's the night where everything started changing, but I can't see it ending well. That and she doesn't want to be friends with me. That's cool right? But yeah, don't send it, I can't see that ending well. Writing your stuff out makes you feel better, I know that feeling. It's why I wrote my stuff out on here, and before that a few Tweets on my Twitter than no one follows. I like writing, and I'm thinking about writing a story about her and myself, though I don't think anyone would want to read it, lol. I just really feel though that if she read it, then she'll have a better understanding of why i did the things i did, and maybe she won't be as angry
Author KewlBum Posted March 31, 2010 Author Posted March 31, 2010 So we talked on msn today...she signed on and...I couldn't resist. She was fairly cold to me. But at least she still talked. Does anyone think I can get her back if we became friends? I know it's a long shot, but I think maybe.... here's why: 1) 2 weeks after she broke up with me I called her and pleaded to give me a chance. It started off as no (as usual) but slowly she turned around and said she'd give me a chance. Then the next day she changed her mind and said we couldn't be together. The point though, is that she did initially change her "no" answer to a "yes" 2) Last week she told me to never talk to her again. She even called me and told me that. She never calls me, she hates phone calls, she always texts. So she probably called me to make sure I knew to never talk to her again. Anyways, like I said, today I talked to her on msn. She signed on and I said hi. She said hi back. We talked and although she was pretty cold, we did have a conversation. So obviously she at least somewhat changed her mind on the "never talk to me again" 3) During the msn convo, she told me that she blocked me before. I'm not sure when she blocked me or for how long, but she did block me. So obviously she chose to unblock me later on. Why did she unblock me? I know that those 3 are streches to say that if we became friends, that maybe she'll want to be with me again. I figure that in #1 she changed her mind before so she could do it again, and for #2/3 she probably made the decision to have me "never talk to her again" and block me on msn, in the heat of the moment, and although she might've meant them at the time, she obviously changed her mind about it later on. If we became friends, and if we hung out for a bit, maybe she'll see why she was attracted and liked me to begin with, and I know that she knows I wouldn't make the same mistakes again, so maybe she'll want to get back wiht me. I know it's a long shot...
Pfiend101 Posted March 31, 2010 Posted March 31, 2010 Quit talking to her now, for your own good. I know its hard but you will never get over it if you keep doing it. You will feel much better.
vivrantflo Posted March 31, 2010 Posted March 31, 2010 1) Then the next day she changed her mind and said we couldn't be together. 2) Last week she told me to never talk to her again. She even called me and told me that. She never calls me, she hates phone calls, she always texts. 3) During the msn convo, she told me that she blocked me before. I'm not sure when she blocked me or for how long, but she did block me. My friend, where do you get the idea that pushing for a friendship is a good idea?? You are over analyzing things, and trying to pull anything you find remotely positive from her actions. There's nothing positive here. Friends with exes don't work man. You want her back romantically, so how would you react if she tells you that she met a guy she's fallen for, and he's incredibly good in the sack. Are you going to want to hear that mess? She has blocked you, told you not to talk to her, and she treats you terribly... why don't you just make her decision final, and stop talking to her? Block her on msn Remove her from Facebook if you have it, and she's on your friend list. Stop responding to her texts or phone calls
Pfiend101 Posted March 31, 2010 Posted March 31, 2010 I did the same thing with my first ex. Looking at every little thing she did trying to find some glimmer of hope. It drove me close to crazy. Tore my heart up even worse. I learned the hard way the NC does work. Stick to it. Pursue other women and eventually you will not feel the pain.
justaguy123 Posted March 31, 2010 Posted March 31, 2010 Don't try to be friends with her. It will just make things worst for you. You will always want more and just being friends will tear at you every single time you are with her. I know you just want to see her and talk to her and just generally be with her, but you will just hurt more. Block her on msn do better than just blocking her from msn. Remove her completely. Right now I see my ex online and it makes me want to talk to her. Even if you block her u will still see that she is online and you will be tempted. I still cant bring myself to remove my ex though.
EYECANDY000 Posted March 31, 2010 Posted March 31, 2010 Do you honestly want to get friendzoned? And let me tell you once a person is put in the same category as "friends" its hard to come back from that. If the relationship progressed into something intimate then it becomes a FWB relationship. and from the sounds of t you want her back, and not as friends. I dont know the intensity of the break up but if you ever want to reconcile and get back with this girl then GIVE HER SPACE!!!!!!!!! LEAVE HER ALONE!!! give her time to miss you. she cant miss you if she is talking to her everyday. and she certainly cant miss you if you are pestering her with relationship questions. I know its hard. Im was a complete mess a month ago. but each day gets better and better. But you have to allow it to get better. Dont dwell!
Author KewlBum Posted March 31, 2010 Author Posted March 31, 2010 So you guys really don't think I have a chance? She already changed her mind once though. And she she changed her mind about blocking me on msn, and changed her mind on the "never talk to be ever again". That's got to count for something right? What if I just talk to her on msn once in a while (maybe once a week), but never talk about the relationship. Pretty much everytime we've talked, I would talk about the relationship and it would really piss her off. So maybe i'll talk to her once a week but nothing about the relationship
Dodgers27 Posted March 31, 2010 Posted March 31, 2010 So we talked on msn today...she signed on and...I couldn't resist. She was fairly cold to me. But at least she still talked. Does anyone think I can get her back if we became friends? I know it's a long shot, but I think maybe.... here's why: 1) 2 weeks after she broke up with me I called her and pleaded to give me a chance. It started off as no (as usual) but slowly she turned around and said she'd give me a chance. Then the next day she changed her mind and said we couldn't be together. The point though, is that she did initially change her "no" answer to a "yes" 2) Last week she told me to never talk to her again. She even called me and told me that. She never calls me, she hates phone calls, she always texts. So she probably called me to make sure I knew to never talk to her again. Anyways, like I said, today I talked to her on msn. She signed on and I said hi. She said hi back. We talked and although she was pretty cold, we did have a conversation. So obviously she at least somewhat changed her mind on the "never talk to me again" 3) During the msn convo, she told me that she blocked me before. I'm not sure when she blocked me or for how long, but she did block me. So obviously she chose to unblock me later on. Why did she unblock me? I know that those 3 are streches to say that if we became friends, that maybe she'll want to be with me again. I figure that in #1 she changed her mind before so she could do it again, and for #2/3 she probably made the decision to have me "never talk to her again" and block me on msn, in the heat of the moment, and although she might've meant them at the time, she obviously changed her mind about it later on. If we became friends, and if we hung out for a bit, maybe she'll see why she was attracted and liked me to begin with, and I know that she knows I wouldn't make the same mistakes again, so maybe she'll want to get back wiht me. I know it's a long shot... I went through the stage you are in about 2-3 weeks ago, and it doesn't end up well. I was going to send her flowers and ask her on a date, and just try and start over. If a girl breaks up with you it's for a reason, even if it's bullsh*t. Even if she does give you that chance what's to stop her from just saying "Nevermind, I want to be broken up again." I hate it because I feel like I should be with her and not anyone else, and I deserve that second chance, but even if I got it I would always wonder "how does she really feel, is she just stringing me along?" It's your call, and I can't tell you not to try, but I will tell you that it hurts to get rejected again like that. Badly.
Dodgers27 Posted March 31, 2010 Posted March 31, 2010 So you guys really don't think I have a chance? She already changed her mind once though. And she she changed her mind about blocking me on msn, and changed her mind on the "never talk to be ever again". That's got to count for something right? What if I just talk to her on msn once in a while (maybe once a week), but never talk about the relationship. Pretty much everytime we've talked, I would talk about the relationship and it would really piss her off. So maybe i'll talk to her once a week but nothing about the relationship It's eerie how similar the two of us are. I had the same line of thinking until very recently. I wanted it to be like before the relationship, and just be friends and talk about whatever. But if she's dating some as*hole like she is currently doing, it will eventually come up (she doesn't spare people's feelings all that much, she's blunt), and it will hurt me once it does. As much as it sucks, I'm to the point where I realize there is no future of mine involving her in any way except as a memory. It hurts me to no end to think that, as I can't imagine loving anyone as much as I loved her, but that's the honest truth. You will get to that point, but it will take you discovering that on your own to realize it, because I didn't listen to anyone's advice and had to learn it first hand before I realized what I shouldn't do.
vivrantflo Posted April 1, 2010 Posted April 1, 2010 she she changed her mind about blocking me on msn, and changed her mind on the "never talk to be ever again". That's got to count for something right? It means nothing man. Blocking and unblocking on msn or any other online messaging forum means absolutely nothing. She blocks you cause you're annoying her, and she unblocks you, cause she wants to know what you're up to, and if you still want her. And don't mistake this as romantic interest. She just wants to know that she can have you any time she wants for her own validation. Trust me on this one. What if I just talk to her on msn once in a while (maybe once a week), but never talk about the relationship. This is a great idea if you have plans to prolong your pain, allow her to lose more and more respect for you, and if you want to help her get over you easier. You can't convince, manipulate, persuade, entice, or coax someone to be romantically interested in you. NOTHING you do, or don't do, will pull her in your direction. Well, NC would get her attention, but that shouldn't be your goal. Your goal should be excreting her from your life and moving on with it! The chances of you getting her back are at about 5%.. if that. And the more you talk to her, that percentage goes down even more. You need to prepare your heart and emotions for the high possibility that she's not coming back.
northstar1 Posted April 1, 2010 Posted April 1, 2010 It means nothing man. Blocking and unblocking on msn or any other online messaging forum means absolutely nothing. She blocks you cause you're annoying her, and she unblocks you, cause she wants to know what you're up to, and if you still want her. And don't mistake this as romantic interest. She just wants to know that she can have you any time she wants for her own validation. Trust me on this one. This is a great idea if you have plans to prolong your pain, allow her to lose more and more respect for you, and if you want to help her get over you easier. You can't convince, manipulate, persuade, entice, or coax someone to be romantically interested in you. NOTHING you do, or don't do, will pull her in your direction. Well, NC would get her attention, but that shouldn't be your goal. Your goal should be excreting her from your life and moving on with it! The chances of you getting her back are at about 5%.. if that. And the more you talk to her, that percentage goes down even more. You need to prepare your heart and emotions for the high possibility that she's not coming back. Kewl - read this post over and over. This is a great post, and Vivrantflo knows what he speaks of, he's been through it.
Author KewlBum Posted April 2, 2010 Author Posted April 2, 2010 I think the biggest reason why i'm having such a hard time is because the 6 months I was with my gf...they were the best half year of my life. Before that, I guess I wasn't the happiest guy alive, but I wasn't depressed either. I was content. But having her in my life turned me from content into the happiest guy alive. And now, even though I have a pretty good life...it's just nothing in comparison to when I had her. These last 4 hours have been especially sad for me recently. I was at the mall. Me and my ex used to go to the mall alot and everytime I passed by a store we used to go to, a little bit of my hurt would burn. This sucks.
Dodgers27 Posted April 2, 2010 Posted April 2, 2010 I think the biggest reason why i'm having such a hard time is because the 6 months I was with my gf...they were the best half year of my life. Before that, I guess I wasn't the happiest guy alive, but I wasn't depressed either. I was content. But having her in my life turned me from content into the happiest guy alive. And now, even though I have a pretty good life...it's just nothing in comparison to when I had her. These last 4 hours have been especially sad for me recently. I was at the mall. Me and my ex used to go to the mall alot and everytime I passed by a store we used to go to, a little bit of my hurt would burn. This sucks. Damn man, it's like I'm talking to my self here. I can't go to the damned grocery store without feeling sad and thinking of her. Every time I go now I make the trip shorter and shorter so I think about her less. One thing I've been told to do is to write a list of all the bad things you didn't like about your ex. That could help you realize that things weren't always perfect and that she may not have been perfect for you. I have not done this, because I know there were faults with her, but there were far more positives that outweighed those faults, and I had much more faults than her. Two of my friends talked to me right after some BS happened to me today and they totally cheered me up. Try just talking to friends more about things that aren't related to your ex, that should help a lot. What is your favorite activity or hobby?
Author KewlBum Posted April 2, 2010 Author Posted April 2, 2010 Damn man, it's like I'm talking to my self here. I can't go to the damned grocery store without feeling sad and thinking of her. Every time I go now I make the trip shorter and shorter so I think about her less. One thing I've been told to do is to write a list of all the bad things you didn't like about your ex. That could help you realize that things weren't always perfect and that she may not have been perfect for you. I have not done this, because I know there were faults with her, but there were far more positives that outweighed those faults, and I had much more faults than her. Two of my friends talked to me right after some BS happened to me today and they totally cheered me up. Try just talking to friends more about things that aren't related to your ex, that should help a lot. What is your favorite activity or hobby? I can't do the list thing for the exact reasons why you can't. As for activities and hobbies...i don't really have any. Maybe that's part of why I'm having so much trouble moving on and why I kind of hate myself right now.
Dodgers27 Posted April 2, 2010 Posted April 2, 2010 I can't do the list thing for the exact reasons why you can't. As for activities and hobbies...i don't really have any. Maybe that's part of why I'm having so much trouble moving on and why I kind of hate myself right now. Do you like sports? Or writing? Or reading? Or a certain subject in school? I'm a huge baseball fan, so now that the season is starting I've been diving extremely deep into baseball to get my mind preoccupied. I'm also thinking about starting to write stories because I've had some ideas floating around in my head. Also, I want to start reading some books I've got, probly starting with the 7th Harry Potter book, because I can't wait for the movie in November.
Author KewlBum Posted April 3, 2010 Author Posted April 3, 2010 I wrote another letter. This one is a bit shorter and only describes all the things that went on in my head which led me to do the things that I did in the relationship, which she didn't like which led to her breaking up with me. And of course, it also asks for her to really thoroughly read what I wrote and for her to put herself in my shows and see it from my perspective. I really want her to read it. It won't get us back together or make us friends, but that's not the point of it. I just want her to not be angry at me, I want her to at least have neutral feelings towards me. I don't want her looking back at her first love and think that he was an a-hole. The problem right now is getting her to read it. Last time we spoke on msn she said she didn't want to talk about relationship ever. She said this after I told her that I've been writing little letters to myself just to vent and that I had written one but couldn't bear to delete it. So I can't just send this letter to her, through the mail or email, because she'll just throw it out or delete it without reading it. I think that I may wait a month then send it to her through email. Hopefully by then she'll be willing to read it. The first line of the letter even says "dont worry, nothing in here talks or implies about getting back with you". ****KKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK. I just know I'll have such an easier time if she read the damn thing.
EYECANDY000 Posted April 3, 2010 Posted April 3, 2010 Hun, stop doing this to yourself. Trust me, I know first hand , its going to hurt. I am still hurting myself. Don't send that email. Honestly the title sceams that this will be about us getting back together . To me what that implies is that she is about to read a email about how you won't wait for her, how you've moved on with your life, and you still love her.. do you think she really want to read that. Give her time, in do time she will intiate convo with you.
Author KewlBum Posted April 3, 2010 Author Posted April 3, 2010 Hun, stop doing this to yourself. Trust me, I know first hand , its going to hurt. I am still hurting myself. Don't send that email. Honestly the title sceams that this will be about us getting back together . To me what that implies is that she is about to read a email about how you won't wait for her, how you've moved on with your life, and you still love her.. do you think she really want to read that. Give her time, in do time she will intiate convo with you. She won't initiate anything, trust me. And even if she does, I HIGHLY doubt she'll want to talk baout our past relationship. How can I get her to read my email? I won't send it to her right away, maybe in a month in hopes that by then there'll be a greater chance of her willing to read it. And that line wouldn't be the title of it, like it wouldn't be as the subject line...I would leave that area blank. Instead, I just have it in as the first sentence of the letter. And if you don't that line is good, what would you suggest to say that may help get her to read it?
Pfiend101 Posted April 3, 2010 Posted April 3, 2010 Don't send any letters, don't contact her, forget about the relationship its over, its done, its finished. Probably forever. Time to move on bro. There's other women in the world one that wont do this bull**** to you. Shes not the one, she left you. No sense in pursuing any further. I know it hurts but.... give up on this one.
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