Having such a hard time getting over her

[Lost Fish]

But I really wouldn't even mind if it's small talk. I know that there's almost no chance we'll ever get back together. I would, however, still like to be her friend. But that of course requires her to actually want to talk to me. And by her texts, she thinks I'm an a-hole and only remembers the bad stuff...

 

Dude.

 

OK. I read through about 90% of what you posted and here's what I have to say:

 

1. Yes she treated you poorly in the breakup. But what does it matter? Breakups never go smoothly dude.

 

2. The more you fight and mope and question and contact her the more you push her away further and further and lose your own power and independence.

 

3. I know it hurts. I know how unbearable the pain is. But that's the way it is. It will get better. Time heals all. I know it sounds cliche but it does. You can help yourself heal quicker by definitely following the advice of others here - focus on yourself. Fight the urge to contact her - doing so only causes you to backslide and reopen these hemorraging wounds.

 

4. Start to accept the fact that IT IS OVER, IT'S TIME TO MOVE ON. Seriously. Write it on a piece of paper and tape it to your bathroom mirror if you have to. As hard as it is to read and to believe, the more you pound that thought in your head the more you will accept it.

 

Post here as often as you need. When you feel low. Lord knows the rest of us have.

 

I do feel for you man. Walk through the pain. You can make it. You WILL make it.

[KewlBum]

I know that it's over. But I truly believe we can be friends still.

[northstar1]

I know that it's over. But I truly believe we can be friends still.

 

Read your posts and you'll see why you can't.

 

Accepting friendship is a method of desperation. Desperation to accept any form of contact with an ex and make sure you stay in their life.

 

Friendship can only come to fruition when there are no more romantic attachements or feeling for an ex. When they can tell you that they have a new partner and how happy they are, and you feel nothing from that news, except maybe happiness for them.

 

That point, if it ever comes, takes a long time. Usually years. I am friendly with an ex from 10 years ago. She is married with a child and I wish good things for her. But that took years of moving on with both our lives and going through a period of having no contact with each other.

 

Do you honestly believe that if you hung out with her in a week, month or six months and she tells you she's got a new boyfriend, that you'll feel nothing other than rejection and pain? You are fooling yourself if you think you can.

 

Read the advice given here and let it sink in, from people who have been in your shoes and walked the walk through the pain of coping and healing and come out of it and are now telling you that you will be better and things will be fine.

 

Live your life, don't contact her anymore, you are GAINING NOTHING from this contact at all except sitting in limbo a little bit longer.

[KewlBum]

Read your posts and you'll see why you can't.

 

Accepting friendship is a method of desperation. Desperation to accept any form of contact with an ex and make sure you stay in their life.

 

Friendship can only come to fruition when there are no more romantic attachements or feeling for an ex. When they can tell you that they have a new partner and how happy they are, and you feel nothing from that news, except maybe happiness for them.

 

That point, if it ever comes, takes a long time. Usually years. I am friendly with an ex from 10 years ago. She is married with a child and I wish good things for her. But that took years of moving on with both our lives and going through a period of having no contact with each other.

 

Do you honestly believe that if you hung out with her in a week, month or six months and she tells you she's got a new boyfriend, that you'll feel nothing other than rejection and pain? You are fooling yourself if you think you can.

 

Read the advice given here and let it sink in, from people who have been in your shoes and walked the walk through the pain of coping and healing and come out of it and are now telling you that you will be better and things will be fine.

 

Live your life, don't contact her anymore, you are GAINING NOTHING from this contact at all except sitting in limbo a little bit longer.

The few times we've spoken on the phone since the breakup have made me feel good. Some of the words exchanged were good, some neutral, and some were words of anger. But they made me feel good. Do I have feelings for her? Most definitely. Goddamn I just want to hear her voice. And I especially want to see her in person. I feel like if I can get her to talk to me on the phone then we can ease into seeing eachother in person later on.

 

 

 

I'm so hopeless...

[Lost Fish]

 

I'm so hopeless...

 

 

You aren't hopeless friend.

 

This statement is good though. You can actually see how you are logically trying to trick yourself into thinking you really do just want to be friends, when the emotion in your words easily shows everyone here that you are desperate and still very much in love with her.

 

And that's ok!

 

You need to get in tune with your emotions. Accept your sadness. Accept how sh*tty this feels and how much you miss her.

 

You have to go into No Contact. For real. And part of that means no contact from old pictures or emails too. Delete all those old texts. Start fresh. If you want have like a 20 minute session and read through all that stuff or look at pictures or emails from the past - and then delete and lock it away.

 

It will be hard, but as the minutes turn to hours and hours into days you will reconnect with yourself. The strong confident dude who doesn't rely on other people to manufacture his own happiness. Get angry, be mad at the situation, mad at her, mad at yourself - it's part of the process.

 

But do it alone. I found that while in NC - when the ex tries to make contact (they always do eventually) - it fueled me. Gave me some of my independence and power back that I had lost while I fought and pleaded to stay in something that was obviously over.

 

Northstar was 100% right. Just read over your own words and instead of lying to yourself, see how meek and codependent your words seem. Use that as a starting point to say "I am not that little guy anymore."

 

You can do it. Start now.

Edited March 27, 2010 by Lost Fish
spelling, punctuation...

[Dodgers27]

I know the feeling of what you are going through. I was with my gf for 10 and a half months, and they were the best months of my life. I noticed a month or so before the end that she was a bit more distant and it seemed like there was something wrong. She also talked to me less. So I talked to her mom to see if she thought anything was up, but she said that my gf was crazy about me and loved me so much. Even with her saying that I decided to be proactive and take her on more dates and buy her flowers randomly and just do small things for her to show I cared. It seemed like things had actually gotten better between us, so I was obviously very happy about that, and my concerns had gone away.

 

The last weekend we were together it was a normal weekend, and it was actually very nice. We were planning a trip to Phoenix (we're in the LA area) for our anniversary but we were going to take the trip in March, one month early. That Sunday I booked the hotel and we bought tickets for a Ducks Coyotes game, which is the big reason we were going. She lives about an hour and a half away from me, so I drove every weekend to see her. I stayed later than normal just to be with her that night, but I had to leave because I had work the next day. As I'm driving home my car dies on the freeway. I thought that this would be the worst thing to happen to me this week; I was wrong.

 

On Wednesday I get a text from her saying "are you on your lunch, do you have time to talk?" So I call her and she starts telling me that she has something to tell me and she doesn't want me to hate her. I finally promised her yes and then she said that she had lost her feelings for me that she use to have. She said they went away a few months ago but she thought they would come back, and at one point they did, but then it just stopped for some reason. I honestly can tell you that I have never felt any more pain than this in my entire life. It felt like my heart just broke in half.

 

This girl was my first real love, and I very much loved her. She was always the one who would talk about marrying me and having a future together, and at first I was just kinda like "yeah....", but after a while I really got into it and I could see a future with her and I together. Her breaking up with me wouldn't have been such a shock except for the fact that she talked about loving me and wanting to marry me so much that I honestly shouldn't have expected anything like this. To highlight this point, the VERY LAST DAY we spent together she told me that she wanted to get married on 10-10-10. I don't understand how someone can say things like that then tell you that they didn't mean any of it and they just said those things toward the end so she wouldn't hurt me.

 

Much has happened since then, but to make a long story short, I overreacted to a few things, didn't give it enough time before I tried to be friends with her again, and now she doesn't want to talk to me anymore. I didn't do anything bad, I just said things out of bitterness and spite. She eventually told me that she started dating someone just a week and a half after the breakup, but she didn't go out looking for someone, she just fell for him hanging out with him and her best friend. If my heart wasn't broken, it was smashed into pieces after that. She then told me (after I asked) that she hadn't felt anything bad after the breakup, which sent me on a downward spiral for a few days. To even think of how broken up I've been since the breakup and she's not only perfectly fine, but looking HAPPIER than I've ever seen her tore me apart.

 

I can't say that I was the perfect boyfriend, because I made my fair share of mistakes. But I treated her better than many guys would have (not her in particular, but just how guys treat girls in general). I would have and did EVERYTHING for her. I drove 2 hours (3 in traffic) every weekend to go see her because I loved her so much. I would go get her something to eat at 2 in the morning if she got a craving for something, I would buy her things that she wanted, I would watch whatever she wanted, go wherever she wanted, etc...Maybe I did too much for her and didn't make myself assertive enough, but I did everything I could to make her happy, and for her to tell me that she was unhappy being with me for a few months made me so unbelievably angry I cannot even tell you.

 

Ever since the breakup, though, I didn't listen to my friends and I checked her facebook and twitter every day and eventually saw things I never wanted to see, like **** with her new boyfriend, and it killed me. I wish I had never checked her facebook or twitter. I'm not friends with her on either anymore, which actually has helped to a degree.

 

Despite my anger for her breaking up with me while I was a really good boyfriend and treated her amazing and her dating some guy just a week or so after our breakup i still CAN NOT get her out of my mind. I miss her more than anyone I could have ever imagined. Every little thing reminds me of her. Going to the store kills me because I did that with her so often for just grocery shopping. Listening to the songs I love is brutal because I associated so many songs with her. Caught Up In You - .38 Special is one of my favorite songs of all-time and basically became my song for her and listening to that song has made me tear up since. I just think of what I did to deserve this. I wonder what I could have done to make her love me still, or what I could have done to make her never stop loving.

 

It turns out that I just wasn't her type of guy, because she's more of an outgoing girl who likes to party occasionally and drink and I'm a really shy guy who would rather stay home and watch a movie with my ex when we went out and who doesn't drink at all, and am just not really that outgoing. I would do anything now to make her love me again: I would eat foods that I hate that she loves, go to parties with her and her friends, try drinking, and just be more generally outgoing. None of that does or would matter now. She's long moved on and I'm sitting here missing her like an idiot.

 

As I'm writing this "What Is Life" by George Harrison comes on my Itunes...what is my life without your love. Tell me who am I without you by side?

 

A wreck, it seems.

[Dodgers27]

If you don't feel like reading my gigantic response (which I can see why you wouldn't), I'm basically just showing what i've been through recently with my gf of 10 and a half months who broke up with me. I made all the wrong mistakes. I texted her when i missed her, i facebook stalked her for a while just to see what she was up to and who she was hanging out with, and I tried to do something to get back together with her.

 

Mistake after mistake after mistake.

 

If a girl breaks up with you, there's really no going back, or at least going back normally. She's made up her mind and ultimately she wanted to be broken up for a reason. The best thing you can do is move on as best you can as soon as you can. I know those are just words, because doing that is near impossible. I did try, but now I've just given up for the most part. I have stopped talking to her, but it's not easy to talk to someone who just doesn't want to talk to you.

 

Don't check her Facebook for reasons like you will see her talking to some guy and it will make you feel like ****. You don't want to see her talking to someone who might be her new guy, or just someone that you might think is. That just leads to bad things. Talking to her might make you feel slightly better at the moment, but afterwards you just feel worse and worse. I can't say I've felt better after talking to her one time since the breakup, it's only made me want to be back with her more.

 

If I had life my way you and I would both be back with the girls that we love. They would love us back just as much as we love them and there would be no huge problems. Life just isn't that nice and is actually kind of cruel. The best thing I can tell you is to try and think about her as little as possible and keep yourself occupied with other things, and even talk to other girls (though if you are like me you only want your ex).

 

I hope everything works out well for you.

[KewlBum]

Dodgers...........are you for real? This is going to sound paranoid but....your story is SO similar to mine.....are you my ex disguising as someone else who's telling me about some fictional guy whoo happens to have the same story as me, with the intention of trying to help me forget about you and move on?

[jmaclean]

KewlBum and Dodgers, I know what both you guys are going through. My gf dumped me out of the blue 2 days ago and is now with another guy. Like you I did everything for her. And now everything reminds me of her - TV shows, songs, the food I eat, even just looking round my bedroom. It's horrible, I haven't been able to sleep or eat properly, and I feel the lowest I have felt in my life (I'm normally quite a happy person!) I found this site today and have been reading tons of posts. Today is my first day of NC. I also went for a 30 minute jog this evening (having not exercised for the last 3 years). I'm feeling a little better than I was this morning.

 

I want to get back together with her now because I miss her so much, but I don't think it would ever be the same after what she's done. There would always be that horrible memory of the time when it all went wrong. So I'm forced to accept that I've gotta move on, and it hurts like ****.

 

I know NC's gonna be hard, but I'm convinced from what I've read here that it's the only way forward - every other approach seems to end in tears. I'm gonna try and get through it with a bit of exercise, taking up the piano again (never had time for it when I was with her), focusing on my work, and posting my a*** off on this forum every time i feel any urge to contact her. If we go NC simultaneously and help each other it should be easier...

[Dodgers27]

Dodgers...........are you for real? This is going to sound paranoid but....your story is SO similar to mine.....are you my ex disguising as someone else who's telling me about some fictional guy whoo happens to have the same story as me, with the intention of trying to help me forget about you and move on?

 

Haha, I thought it was so odd how our stories were similar, but just browsing through this site it seems like this is (unfortunately) a comment occurrence. I just know how tough it's been on me and how much I've wanted to talk to her, and how bad of an idea it's been to actually do so

[Dodgers27]

KewlBum and Dodgers, I know what both you guys are going through. My gf dumped me out of the blue 2 days ago and is now with another guy. Like you I did everything for her. And now everything reminds me of her - TV shows, songs, the food I eat, even just looking round my bedroom. It's horrible, I haven't been able to sleep or eat properly, and I feel the lowest I have felt in my life (I'm normally quite a happy person!) I found this site today and have been reading tons of posts. Today is my first day of NC. I also went for a 30 minute jog this evening (having not exercised for the last 3 years). I'm feeling a little better than I was this morning.

 

I want to get back together with her now because I miss her so much, but I don't think it would ever be the same after what she's done. There would always be that horrible memory of the time when it all went wrong. So I'm forced to accept that I've gotta move on, and it hurts like ****.

 

I know NC's gonna be hard, but I'm convinced from what I've read here that it's the only way forward - every other approach seems to end in tears. I'm gonna try and get through it with a bit of exercise, taking up the piano again (never had time for it when I was with her), focusing on my work, and posting my a*** off on this forum every time i feel any urge to contact her. If we go NC simultaneously and help each other it should be easier...

 

This is going to be one of the toughest weeks of your life, I can guarantee you that if you really loved her. Do whatever you've gotta do to make yourself feel better. I wouldn't blame you for anything (within reason) right now. Talk to friends, talk to old friends, talk to other girls, whatever. My ex hated a few girls that I was friends with so I stopped talking to them, but since the breakup I've been talking to them again and that feels great. If anything it takes my mind off my ex for a while.

[KewlBum]

Ya guys, it sucks that everything reminds me of her. I can't go to the movies because me and her would go there so many times....if I went it would just bring back the memories. I can't eat or think of certain restarurants, certain food (pasta, ice cream, chocolate), songs, places we've been...it seems like everything. Whenever I talk to my friends they always say at least one thing that would make me think about her, it's friggin nuts. I'm going insane. I havent contacted her for 2 days and it's absolutely killing me.

 

Why can't she see me in person?!?!?!

Why can't she talk to me on the phone?!?!?!?

ANYTHING!!!

 

I had my faults, and it was indeed my fault why she broke up with me. But I KNOW I was a great boyfriend who cared oh so much about her. Why can't she just talk to me. I completely opened myself up to her...I shouldn't have done that. I was not cautious at all. I made myself so vulnerable. And now I'm crushed. I would've done anything for her, and I still would even right now...even though she wants nothing to do with me. I wish so badly to go back in time.

[Dodgers27]

Ya guys, it sucks that everything reminds me of her. I can't go to the movies because me and her would go there so many times....if I went it would just bring back the memories. I can't eat or think of certain restarurants, certain food (pasta, ice cream, chocolate), songs, places we've been...it seems like everything. Whenever I talk to my friends they always say at least one thing that would make me think about her, it's friggin nuts. I'm going insane. I havent contacted her for 2 days and it's absolutely killing me.

 

Why can't she see me in person?!?!?!

Why can't she talk to me on the phone?!?!?!?

ANYTHING!!!

 

I had my faults, and it was indeed my fault why she broke up with me. But I KNOW I was a great boyfriend who cared oh so much about her. Why can't she just talk to me. I completely opened myself up to her...I shouldn't have done that. I was not cautious at all. I made myself so vulnerable. And now I'm crushed. I would've done anything for her, and I still would even right now...even though she wants nothing to do with me. I wish so badly to go back in time.

 

The similarities that we share are uncanny. I wish I could go back and change all the bad things about me that made her stop loving me. I wish that so much.

 

The littlest things are reminding me of her. Going to the god damned store is killing me! Listening to music is the worst. Watching TV shows that we both loved.

[jmaclean]

Music is definitely the worst - it's designed to make you emotional and when it hits a vulnerable target it doesn't half work. I've been avoiding listening to anything, which sucks because normally I absolutely love music, it's half my life. Dodgers - another similarity - I have gotten in touch with two girls that my ex was incredibly jealous of, and have had really nice chats with them and they have been totally supportive, promising to take me out to take my mind off things. Will it work, I have no idea. I'll keep you posted though. In fact I'll probably be back on here tomorrow saying how much I want to call her.

 

I was surprised when I realised, reading the threads on here, just how common this is. I guess we all think our own relationships are really special and unique. But they clearly all have a lot in common. Suppose we're all just human after all.

[Pfiend101]

Don't plan on ever talking to her/being with her again. I know its hard. But think about it would you really want to be with someone who broke up with you through a text and left you horribly? Would you really want to be a friend with this person. The moment you do become friends and hear of another guy you are going to be absolutely crushed. I'm Sorry. I had an ex breakup through a text. I never got the closure I wanted. She is now dating a drug addict. Stupid bitch.

 

You are much better off now it may not feel like it. Stay No Contact, for your own good. Its time to worry about you and not her.

[KewlBum]

Seriously. Dodgers, you're not really my ex posing as some guy...are you?

[Dodgers27]

Music is definitely the worst - it's designed to make you emotional and when it hits a vulnerable target it doesn't half work. I've been avoiding listening to anything, which sucks because normally I absolutely love music, it's half my life. Dodgers - another similarity - I have gotten in touch with two girls that my ex was incredibly jealous of, and have had really nice chats with them and they have been totally supportive, promising to take me out to take my mind off things. Will it work, I have no idea. I'll keep you posted though. In fact I'll probably be back on here tomorrow saying how much I want to call her.

 

I was surprised when I realised, reading the threads on here, just how common this is. I guess we all think our own relationships are really special and unique. But they clearly all have a lot in common. Suppose we're all just human after all.

 

Yeah, it's really made me feel better that I've been able to talk to them, especially after we were so close before I started dating my ex. We use to be almost best friends before, and then we just stopped talking because my ex HATED her. Now I want to rekindle the friendship.

 

I hope you are able to take your mind off your ex, I'm doing whatever I can. Today I've done a fantasy baseball draft and talked baseball almost all day, and I've barely thought of my ex. I'm going to a party in an hour, and I'm hoping that will really help as well.

[Dodgers27]

Seriously. Dodgers, you're not really my ex posing as some guy...are you?

 

I can safely say I do not know who you are, lol. My name is Bobby and I live in Southern California, about an hour away from LA.

 

****, another thing that really blows is that I got a Disneyland season pass for her because she loved Disneyland, now I've gotta pay for this thing till July when it expires. UGHHHH.

[KewlBum]

I can safely say I do not know who you are, lol. My name is Bobby and I live in Southern California, about an hour away from LA.

 

****, another thing that really blows is that I got a Disneyland season pass for her because she loved Disneyland, now I've gotta pay for this thing till July when it expires. UGHHHH.

Haha, sorry, just so many similarities....I actually thought you might've been my ex just trying to get me to move on so I'd never contact her again.

 

Just reading your thread, we have these in common:

- ex broke up with us about a month ago

- both lasted less then a year but was very serious and the best months of our lives

- she was our first love

- she talked about our future together, living together, etc...very recently which made the breakup more shocking then it would have

- didn't give her enough time to be friends again

- she doesn't want to have any contact anymore

- made mistakes but in general treated her better then most guys in general do

- would've done anything and everything for her

- checked fb and **** everyday, couldnt take it anymore so deleted her from fb

- she's more outgoing

- i'm more shy and dont drink

- came to this website for further venting as all i do with my friends is talk about her and I'm sure they;re sick of it by now

- etc etc etc

 

I was just reading what you wrote and my jaw absolutely dropped. I was convinced you were her. I looked at your join date, saw that it was very recent and thought she came across this site and saw that i was posting about our breakup and decided to join and play along...pose as some guy who has a very similar story but changes some things to not make things too obvious, then as weeks go by she'll post (as the fictional guy) how things are looking good and getting over the ex, so that maybe it'll spur me to do the same thing, so that I will no longer think about contacting her again. Ya, I'm a cynic.

[Dodgers27]

Haha, sorry, just so many similarities....I actually thought you might've been my ex just trying to get me to move on so I'd never contact her again.

 

Just reading your thread, we have these in common:

- ex broke up with us about a month ago

- both lasted less then a year but was very serious and the best months of our lives

- she was our first love

- she talked about our future together, living together, etc...very recently which made the breakup more shocking then it would have

- didn't give her enough time to be friends again

- she doesn't want to have any contact anymore

- made mistakes but in general treated her better then most guys in general do

- would've done anything and everything for her

- checked fb and **** everyday, couldnt take it anymore so deleted her from fb

- she's more outgoing

- i'm more shy and dont drink

- came to this website for further venting as all i do with my friends is talk about her and I'm sure they;re sick of it by now

- etc etc etc

 

I was just reading what you wrote and my jaw absolutely dropped. I was convinced you were her. I looked at your join date, saw that it was very recent and thought she came across this site and saw that i was posting about our breakup and decided to join and play along...pose as some guy who has a very similar story but changes some things to not make things too obvious, then as weeks go by she'll post (as the fictional guy) how things are looking good and getting over the ex, so that maybe it'll spur me to do the same thing, so that I will no longer think about contacting her again. Ya, I'm a cynic.

 

Damn man, that is eerily similar. I didn't think there were many guys out there like me that shared similar personality traits like that, haha.

 

Though I'm really sorry that this is happening to you (and me too, lol), it makes me feel better to know that there are other people going through similar situations (if not the SAME situation) and that I'm not the only one taking it so hard. We both loved our girlfriends very much and deserved much better than what we got.

 

Last night I checked my FB and had a notification that her sister commented on a picture of hers, but I checked the picture and it wouldn't show me because my ex and I aren't friends (though I'm friends with her sister still because I thought her sister was really great). So either I was in the photo and tagged or I commented on the picture. Either way it just got me thinking about her and it started hurting

 

The other day I saw a picture on her Facebook somehow or her twitter, can't remember which, and it hurt me so bad. The picture was just of her holding up her hand with her new boyfriend's name written on her hand. No big deal right? The week of our first date she wanted to talk to me on the phone, and I was too shy so I told her I wasn't feeling well. I think she was hurt by it, and kinda mad, but then later she showed me a picture of her where she looked so unbelievably beautiful and she wrote "I <3 Bobby ****" (my last name, not a swear, lol), and seeing her do that for some other guy felt brutal. :/

 

It's just so unfair that after all this time together that she gets to just go off and be happy with another guy and I'm stuck here alone and missing her more than anything. It's just SO unfair.

[KewlBum]

Damn man, that is eerily similar. I didn't think there were many guys out there like me that shared similar personality traits like that, haha.

 

Though I'm really sorry that this is happening to you (and me too, lol), it makes me feel better to know that there are other people going through similar situations (if not the SAME situation) and that I'm not the only one taking it so hard. We both loved our girlfriends very much and deserved much better than what we got.

 

Last night I checked my FB and had a notification that her sister commented on a picture of hers, but I checked the picture and it wouldn't show me because my ex and I aren't friends (though I'm friends with her sister still because I thought her sister was really great). So either I was in the photo and tagged or I commented on the picture. Either way it just got me thinking about her and it started hurting

 

The other day I saw a picture on her Facebook somehow or her twitter, can't remember which, and it hurt me so bad. The picture was just of her holding up her hand with her new boyfriend's name written on her hand. No big deal right? The week of our first date she wanted to talk to me on the phone, and I was too shy so I told her I wasn't feeling well. I think she was hurt by it, and kinda mad, but then later she showed me a picture of her where she looked so unbelievably beautiful and she wrote "I <3 Bobby ****" (my last name, not a swear, lol), and seeing her do that for some other guy felt brutal. :/

 

It's just so unfair that after all this time together that she gets to just go off and be happy with another guy and I'm stuck here alone and missing her more than anything. It's just SO unfair.

Yeah that sucks badly.

Why can't there be some drug to take so that I never think of her again. It's too damn hard. My mind is going insane and all I want to do is see her sweet face in person. I still have her on msn and she rarely uses it but she's been on for awhile these last 2 days. Everytime she signs on my heart rate triples instantly. And I'm wondering why is she on msn? Is she talking to some guy? Setting up a date? Flirting? ****kkkkkkkkkk.

[justaguy123]

Well guess what guys, I'm in the exact situation. It frightens me that there are so many people out there in my exact situation. I didn't know that this stuff happened on such a regular basis and I definitely did not think it would ever happen to me.

 

My situation is as follows:

 

- ex broke up with me about a month and a half ago

- lasted less then a year but was very serious (moved in together after 6 months)

- she was my first love

- she talked about our future together, marriage, kids, etc

- she started dating some other guy 3 days after the break up but told me that she wanted to be single for awhile

- would've done anything and everything for her

- she's more outgoing

- i'm more shy and have trouble talking to new people

- came to this website to talk to people without bugging my friends anymore

 

I feel your guys pain and this should never happen to good people like us.

 

If you want to read my thread here it is

 

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t224647/

[justaguy123]

Yeah that sucks badly.

Why can't there be some drug to take so that I never think of her again. It's too damn hard. My mind is going insane and all I want to do is see her sweet face in person. I still have her on msn and she rarely uses it but she's been on for awhile these last 2 days. Everytime she signs on my heart rate triples instantly. And I'm wondering why is she on msn? Is she talking to some guy? Setting up a date? Flirting? ****kkkkkkkkkk.

 

Dude I see my ex on msn everyday. My heart jumps when I see her face popup in that corner. I just can't bring myself to delete her from it. We used to talk everyday at work over msn and then come home and be together.

 

Everyday is a whirlwind of emotions. I miss her, I hate her, I love her, I don't need her.

Edited March 29, 2010 by justaguy123

[Dodgers27]

Yeah that sucks badly.

Why can't there be some drug to take so that I never think of her again. It's too damn hard. My mind is going insane and all I want to do is see her sweet face in person. I still have her on msn and she rarely uses it but she's been on for awhile these last 2 days. Everytime she signs on my heart rate triples instantly. And I'm wondering why is she on msn? Is she talking to some guy? Setting up a date? Flirting? ****kkkkkkkkkk.

 

I have the SAME exact feelings when I see her talking to anyone or signed onto AIM (which has only been once since the breakup). It feels like my heart is just going to explode from all the beating, it's crazy.

[KewlBum]

Exactly. And I just can't delete her from msn...just in case she wants to talk to me while we're both on. Actually, I want to know if she's deleted me from msn, but I have no way of knowing. When you delete people on msn, there's regular deleting but then there's also deleting+blocking. If you just delete someone then they don't know when you're online cuz they dont have you on their contact list but you can still see when they are online. If she adds in the block then you won't be able to see when she's online. I've watched her delete people on msn before, and she never includes the block. So I have no idea if she's deleted me on msn or not. I've seen her sign in yesterday and today so I know she hasn't blocked me...but she might've still deleted me. Makes me sad if I know she did...

Edited March 29, 2010 by KewlBum