Having such a hard time getting over her

[KewlBum]

So I've posted here before talking about what's happened. We went out for 6 months, we were eachother's first love. I know 6 months may not seem like much, but they were very intense. Things moved pretty fast and it really does seem longer then that. I thought she could be the one for me, and I could see myself with her for the rest of my life. Anyways, she broke up with me about 3 weeks ago. Our relationship was rocky the 2nd half due to me constantly starting argument and conflicts over the stupidest littlest things. She was very lenient and so i guess i took advantage of that. I took the relationship for granted. But even though I'd start these arguments, I was still a very caring boyfriend. I'm kind of like a girl in the sense that I LOVE doing many many romantic things. i would always be making homemade gifts for her, love letters, sweet texts, etc which she absolutely loved. I cared for her dearly. I showed her so much affection. I was completely devoted to her.

 

She had broken up with me once about 2-3 months ago through a text. I was able to get her back though within the same day. We've discussed several time that if she were ever to break up with me again that it wouldn't be through a text. Well, that's how she did it...through a text...again. Maybe that's part of the reason why I'm having trouble moving on. As well, just 2 days before she broke up with me, she sent me a video for our 6 month anniversary. In it she professed her love to me, said how I treated her so well, and that she didn't want to end things. I think that's another reason why I'm having such a hard time...she ended things so abruptly. Every single time we saw each other we would tell each other how much we loved each other. She sends me that video telling me she doesn't want to end things, then 2 days later she breaks up with me through a text when she said several times she wouldn't. She refuses to see me so that I can get some proper closure. She refuses to talk to me. We've talked on the phone a couple times but only for a short amount of time and she'd generally dodge relationship questions. She did seem open to the concept of being friends, but it would have to be a very gradual thing.

 

I called her on friday, she said she didn't want to talk. It seemed like she was angry. I texted her asking if something was wrong and she said she just doesn't want to talk to me. I ask if this is a permanent thing or is it just one of those days when you don't want to talk to me because it's too hard. She said she'll contact me when she's ready to talk, she doesn't know if it's a permanent thing. I say ok. Then the next day, I know I shouldn't have, but I texted her. It didn't seem like she cared about me at all so I texted her asking if I were in the hospital would she visit me. She texts back yes she would, that she's not that big of an a-hole that she wouldnt visit someone in the hospital who she had a history with. She asked what i was trying to accomplish. I said I was wondering if you cared about me at all cause it really doesn't seem like you do. Then I go on about how I've learned from my mistakes, how I know she doesn't want a relationship right now but maybe in the future if she thinks there's a chance we could get back together. She then calls me saying she doesn't love me anymore, and to never talk to her again. I was crushed. I asked if we could even be friends like she said we could before. She said no because she doesn't think we're compatible as friends and also because she think I'll just keep trying to get her back (to be fair, I would want her back, but I wouldn't try to because I know that would just push her away. I would just act as casual as I could and be the man that made her attracted to me in the first place). Anyways, she said no no no. I told her fine, I won't contact you anymore if you promise to read a text that I'll send in half an hour. She said fine. I asked 2 more times if she will actual do it and she promised 2 more times making it a total of three times she promised. I pointed that out...it's a fight club reference which is a movie she loves where a guy tells another guy he just promised him 3 times so he has to do it...in hopes that it better ensures she will indeed read it.

 

In the text (a very LONG text), it's basically me getting everything off my chest and all my frustrations. I basically tell her how I thought she handled this situation really badly. That she told me right before breaking up with me how much she loves me and doesn't want to end things, then does it through a text a couple days after, especially when she said she'll never do it through a text again. I told her that her refusal to see me just for some closure is making this so hard to move on. I fully admitted all my mistakes and apologized, but that I didn't feel like I deserved how she handled everything. I said I know I wasnt the perfect bf, but that I thought I was a pretty decent one and I listed some stuff that I know I was great at. I told her some of the stuff she did wrong as well, but I did clearly note that it was mostly me who brought on the problems. I told her I still loved her, that I know I'm a good guy, that I'm a good catch, and that I've realized that any girl would be lucky to be with me. She does know that I wouldn't make the same mistakes again, but she doesn't want to be with anyone right now because she wants to be alone. She also does know that I've been the most sweet, kind, and caring bf she's ever had. I know these from previous phone convo. Anyways, I add these in the text and say maybe there's still a future for us, and if you decide you want to try again, contact me. But I won't be waiting for you, I'll be moving on and some other lucky girl will be with me. And if you decide that we can be friends, again, contact me, I won't be trying to get back with you because I know you'll just run away. Besides, I've moved on.

 

So yeah, I mean when she told me never to contact her again, that was pretty much the writing on the wall. The only option was to move on. So that's what I told her I'd do, and I AM trying to do that, but it's been so damn hard.

 

And what are your thoughts on how I handled it. I realize that I shouldn't have texted her the next day when I agreed I wouldn't contact her until she contacted me when she was ready. That obviously didn't help things. And I do know that I can be a fairly selfish person. Was I selfish in what I said in the text...that I thought she handled the break up badly by texting it to me, by leading me on then abruptly breaking things, by refusing to see me in order ot get proper closure, by refusing ot talk to me? I don't know. To me it does seem like she handled it wrong. But like I said, I know I can be a selfish person, so I don't know if that is just me being selfish or if it was actually wrong of her. What do you guys think? If I had cheated on her or something then I would've expected this treatment. But it wasn;t anything as bad as that. And she knows that I'm a nice guy. She had told me several times before how I was the best bf she's ever had, how I was the most caring, sweet, and affectionate, how I treated her like a princess all the time.

 

I've been trying, I really have been trying to move on. But she's on my thoughts ALL the time. I cried so much last night trying to sleep...it was unbearable. I don't know how much longer I can take this.

Mostly this post is for me venting right now.

Edited March 22, 2010 by KewlBum

[KewlBum]

Great. Up until today I had been checking her facebook daily, I don't even know why...just so I can get some resemblance that she's still in my life. I decided today that I wasn't going to check her facebook anymore. I logged on just now and her thing was on my news feed. It said she became friends with these 2 guys. I recognized the two names...because they were two guys that she has hooked up with in the past. When I saw the names, my heart just absolutely shattered again. I don't know what to do. This hurts so goddamn much. I've never been in more pain these last 3 weeks then I am in right now, and it just got a thousand times worse. I'm crying so much in these 3 weeks, that's all I feel like doing. I don't...I don't know what to do. I've become so lost.

[KewlBum]

I deleted her on facebook...couldn't handle it anymore.

 

Does anyone have an opinion on whether I was right in thinking she handled the break up selfishly? Or am I the one being selfish for thinking that?

[monkeymaid]

i didnt read all of that, but from what i did, it sounds like she is moving on, and you are killing yourself.

 

if you want to feel better go nc, if you want her back go nc, if you like torturing yourself keep texting, checking fb etc...

 

go to the gym. lift heavy, run, hobbies, think about the bad stuff. ....damn i know how you feel man. i am 3 weeks and a few days out, and have been nc since day 1. im down 15 lbs, saved over $2000 from not spending it on her, reconnected with all of my friends, rekindled old hobbies, anddelved in to school work like i have never done before. ...i miss her everyday, but am slowly feeling GREAT about myself, and hoping to god that she will fix herself and be happy one day.

 

i have been listenign to gray cloud on this board, and he/she?? has been the words that have kept me up when at my worst. my worst was always when i was sitting at home, by myself, and my mind was able to sit idle. i am guessing that is when its the worst for you as well

 

keep posting. ...post when you are feeling down and thinking about her. someone on here will respnd within a few hours, and you can get it out!!

just keep breathing bro. you may be down for the count, but your still alive. be alive!!!!!!!!!

[neoskunk]

i have to tell you i read your whole post. I know its hard but take a step back for a second and ask yourself how you may seem to her? Especially that LONG text you sent and the frequency with which you text her despite telling her you won't. if you had just broken up with your girlfriend would what you sent her really make you want to get back together?

 

the reason you cannot get over her is because you are holding out hope that she will come around and y'all will be together. to be honest with you the chances are very slim. i know it hurts but she broke up with you for a reason. you talk a lot about how it was all your fault and you know you are a great guy but did selfish things blah blah blah. stop beating yourself up! it's not your fault, you were simply being yourself and things didn't work out.

 

listen to this next part closely. YOU CANNOT CHANGE HER MIND FOR HER SO STOP TRYING! nothing YOU can do (besides possibly NC) will make her want you back. she has to figure that out for herself.

 

i know this isn't much comfort but be thankful that this relationship of yours was only 6 months. I recently lost my girlfriend of 4 years and I have spent the past 5 months trying to get her back. All to end up losing her to some other guy. Whatever attachment you have I assure you will die just as quickly as it came about.

 

best of luck. hang in there. definately go NC it will make you feel better I promise. and NC means not responding if she tries to get in touch with you! unless she is blatantly telling you she wants to get back together she is just calling to make sure you are still thinking about her. if you want to speed up the healing do something with your time! don't sit around thinking about her because I assure you she isn't sitting around thinking about you.

Edited March 24, 2010 by neoskunk

[KewlBum]

Well, I know that the chances of us getting back together are extremely slim.

The point of my post was to ask if other people thought I was being reasonable in thinking she handled the whole things bad and selfishly. Or if maybe it's just me trying to rationalize being angry at her so I can move on more easily. Idk...

[monkeymaid]

The point of my post was to ask if other people thought ...

 

this is what is going wrong for you. ...you need to figure out that she doesnt matter, how she handles things makes no difference, and stop caring about what other people thing as it pertains to your now gone relationship.

 

bum, this is one of the hardest things to get over. but know that you will grow out of it, and be happy once again. remember the way you felt when you first got into the relationship. ...you will feel like that again, you are just going through some hardship atm. ...stay busy, and find your self confidence...

 

forget about who was right, who did what. ....there will be time for that when you arent emotionally hemmorhaging. heal your wounds first then figure out what went wrong

[KewlBum]

I just feel as though if I knew what the answer was to my question, it'll help me move on

[monkeymaid]

ask yourself if it really matters!

[neoskunk]

in all liklihood you will probably never know the REAL motives behind her breaking up. when we break up with someone we want to preserve our self image and cause the least amount of guilt. she will tell you whatever she thinks will hurt you the least and not make her look like a complete jerk. whatever things she told you are probably not the REAL reasons and you will probably never get her to tell you the REAL reasons.

 

stop worrying about it and just move on. plus if YOU think she handled the situation badly than she probably did. you don't need people on this forum to agree with you. like i said before stop beating yourself up! you sound like a good caring guy. have some confidence and let the situation go. another girl is sure to be on the horizon. be ready when she comes and sweep her off her feet

[KewlBum]

Thanks. I think I'm a good guy too and I really do think I'm a catch...once a girl gets to know me that is, I'm pretty shy.

The problem I'm facing is one day I'll be relatively fine with my emotions, not thinking about her too much, able to focus on other things. Then the next day will be extremely low for me where I can't help but think about her 24/7, i'll cry sometimes, I can't concentrate on anything else, I'd be thinking of all the good times we've had, all the bad times we've had, all my regrets, and how great it would be if we got back together because I just know we'd be happy. I just want her to give me another chance and I know I won't mess it up. I just want to call her, text her, do anything so that she'll have some sort of contact with me. Ughhh. This is absolutely killing me. I'm such a mess, I don't know what to do anymore about anything.

[EYECANDY000]

Kewlbum,

 

I am terrible sorry that you are going through this. One thing that you need to do is focus on yourself. Stop putting yourself through so much pain. Yes, break ups and heart aches hurt. but within time , it will get better. Im glad that you decided to delete her from facebook. thats definately the best step.

 

Secondly stop contacting her. the only thing you are going to do is push her away further. If you say you was this awesome guy to her then do her and yourself a favor and stop contacting her. Let her miss you. she cant miss you if you are sending text messages about you moving on, and she may be out of luck. she doesnt give a damn about that. If she wants to be back with you then she will call you.

 

I know hoe you feel. My ex and I broke up a month a go and i took it so hard. I practically logged on here and cried about my situation every day. I lost weight, i couldnt eat, I cried so much that I couldnt cry anymore. But I stayed strong. I started focusing more on myself. I joined a gym. I had a lot of moral support. I did things that made me happy. and through it all I wanted to contact him, but I didnt.. I didnt contact him for a whole month and within that time he contacted me. We are just friends at the moment. but I am still taking the separation bad. I just want you to know you arent the only one going through this.

 

 

 

stay strong and take care.

[Rearden Metal]

Bum, listen to these good people's advices. The folks here on LS are a supportive and WISE group. We've been through it, some of us many times. There's a lot of pain on this forum but there's also a TON of hope.

 

Listen man, it really doesn't matter why she left you. It's time to look at yourself and be brutally honest about what you see. You like yourself? If so, awesome, now let's pick yourself up and dust yourself off and get on with things. You don't like something you see? Well, this is your time to change it. You don't have to answer to anyone, you don't have to please anyone. It's you time, baby!

 

One thing I like to say that I don't see a whole lot of on here is that when you're having negative emotions or thoughts, you're crying or bitter or angry...EMBRACE it. Know that your feelings are VALID, proper responses to the situation you're in. It's OK to feel this way and if you can accept that then you can begin to watch yourself while you're in that mode. Almost detached, observing the emotion. It's being in the moment, and it's JUST as viable when you are in pain as it is when you are enjoying yourself immensely.

 

Ever hit a homerun or sink a buzzer beating 3 pointer (or something similarly gratifying)? Do you remember what you were thinking? NO. You remember what you were feeling though, don't you. Yup. That's living! Well, the negative, terrible emotions are also living... so face your pain and accept that it's all OK, and it's all part of life!

 

That was some Gandi shi* right thar.

[KewlBum]

Thanks guys.

 

And I wasn't asking why she broke up with me, I know why. I was just asking others opinions on whether they thought she handled the breakup badly and selfishly, or if I'm just being unreasonable in thinking that. But i guess that doesnt matter.

 

And I haven't had any contact whatsoever since Sunday night so about 3 days. Damn...it's only been 3 days? It seems like it's been soooooooo long already. Goddamn. Even if I can't be with her romantically, I still want her in my life in some way. I've opened up to her by far more then anyone else...even my family. She's the only one I feel like I can be completely myself around. She's just been the biggest part of my life, and now that part is gone. I want to contact her so badly. It's been only 3 days and I'm already itching so much. I'm not sure how much longer I can do it. I doubt she will ever take the initiative to contact me. If nothing happens at all in like 2 months, I want to send her an email or something asking if she still feels like cutting each other out of our lives completely is the best thing or if she thinks we can finally talk again.

[northstar1]

Thanks guys.

 

And I wasn't asking why she broke up with me, I know why. I was just asking others opinions on whether they thought she handled the breakup badly and selfishly, or if I'm just being unreasonable in thinking that. But i guess that doesnt matter.

 

And I haven't had any contact whatsoever since Sunday night so about 3 days. Damn...it's only been 3 days? It seems like it's been soooooooo long already. Goddamn. Even if I can't be with her romantically, I still want her in my life in some way. I've opened up to her by far more then anyone else...even my family. She's the only one I feel like I can be completely myself around. She's just been the biggest part of my life, and now that part is gone. I want to contact her so badly. It's been only 3 days and I'm already itching so much. I'm not sure how much longer I can do it. I doubt she will ever take the initiative to contact me. If nothing happens at all in like 2 months, I want to send her an email or something asking if she still feels like cutting each other out of our lives completely is the best thing or if she thinks we can finally talk again.

 

 

Kewl - stay strong brother.

 

Look, we all know the itch to contact an ex. It's like going through withdrawal from a drug, you think it's worth it and you will do anything to get a fix.

 

But this I can tell you, from experience.

 

If you text/email her, you will feel relief for a short while, because you've done something proactive. Then you will feel awful and anxious waiting for a reply. And if she either doesn't reply, or sends you something totally negative or neutral, then you will be torn up.

 

Stay strong man, and don't do it

[KewlBum]

Kewl - stay strong brother.

 

Look, we all know the itch to contact an ex. It's like going through withdrawal from a drug, you think it's worth it and you will do anything to get a fix.

 

But this I can tell you, from experience.

 

If you text/email her, you will feel relief for a short while, because you've done something proactive. Then you will feel awful and anxious waiting for a reply. And if she either doesn't reply, or sends you something totally negative or neutral, then you will be torn up.

 

Stay strong man, and don't do it

I can't even contact her in a couple months even if I do absolutely nothing until then? I just want to ask if it'll be ok if we start talking again. She's very stubburn so I don't think she'd ever be the one initiating contact wanting to talk.

[EYECANDY000]

In two months you may feel like you have gone whis far so why break it. If you know she is very selfish then why set yourself up for failure.

 

Like I stated before if she wants to be friends then she will contact you, until then let her "be"

[Rearden Metal]

Listen to northstar1. This guy is always on point.

 

kewlbum, you're asking the wrong questions. You're asking WHAT is SHE thinking? Don't you see that there's precisely ONE person who can answer that correctly, and she ain't talkin'!

 

If she wanted you to know what she was thinking, you would know, straight from the tap.

 

NOW, the questions you SHOULD be asking are "What's going on today?", "Who do I know that would want to hang out?", or "Who in my family do I owe a call?"

 

These are things that focus on YOU, and being proactive towards a source other than your ex. Call your mom, grandma, your uncle. Call your college/hs buddy. Set something up.

 

It's getting nice outside (where I am). Hit the gym hard and prepare for the beach. Make some plans to spend a weekend or longer at a populated beach and show up rockin' out your new hardbody.

 

Kick some ass. If your ex catches a whiff of that, trust me, she'll notice.

[KewlBum]

Ok. Some bad and good news. Bad news is I broke NC. She texted me this morning. It was in response to my text on sunday. It took her 4 days to respond...I don't know why it took so long. In her text she said how she was unhappy and saying I would just use her and stuff. She said she'll live her life knowing I'm an a-hole and that whichever girl i'm with next will be unlucky (in the sunday text i said I realize I am a good catch and any girl I'm with would be lucky). I texted back saying that my last text might've been harsh but I just needed to get off of my chest how badly I thought she handled the breakup and whole situation. I once again apologized for the mistakes i've made, told her that I never meant to make her feel unhappy or used and that I have always cared about her. I told her she's the only one I've ever opened myself with and that she means the world to me.

We text back to eachother a couple times more. My final text said that the only reason why i've texted her today was because she texted me, otherwise the sunday text wouldn've been the last. I'm tired of arguing and trying to convince you of anything. I said that she knows I never meant ot make her feel badly. I explained some of the reasons why I did what I did, and while fully admitting I didn't always go about doing stuff the right way, I told her to put herself in my shoes and understand where I was coming from. I told her i know she never wants to get back to me, and thats fine,and that i've completely learned from my mistakes though. And if you never want to talk to me again then that's your choice, your decision. I would hope you'd care enough to at least one day ask how I'm doing. I won't count on it though...I'm not saying that out of anger or anything...I just know you. You dont have to reply to this text and I dont care if you do or don't, I wont text back...just the way you like it.

 

So yeah, there it is. I sent that a couple hours ago. I know she's received it and opened it cause I got a message from my phone saying she did (it does that with long text msgs). She didn't respond. I'm not going to be texting her again. I just wish she would put herself in my shoes and understand where I was coming from, so she would know properly why I did some of the things I did. I'm not saying they were right, because i know I was wrong. But if she knew where I was coming from then maybe she wouldnt be as angry at me and would give me a better chance at beign friends with her. I want to see her in person so badly.

[KewlBum]

Oh and I don't know if this means anything but I might as well add it in as well.

 

I think it was two Sunday's ago when I texted her that I would respect her request to give her space. She replied back thank you. Then the next day she texted me an angry text about our relationship when we were together. She sent this text while she was at school and she later told me it was because the topic of me came up in a conversation between her and her friend.

Todays text was also while she was at school...not sure if it because of friends again.

Idk if that means anything. Both times when I said I would give her her space she would text me while she was at school probably while talkign to friends about me.

 

Anyways, I'm thinking if she does text me again if it's soon like within a week or two, then I wont reply back. I mean, I told her twice already i wouldn't reply, and she would text me sometime later (angry texts tho) and I'd reply back. So maybe if I don't anymore then there's a greater chance she'll miss me.

[DramaFree]

I am trying to get to fullblown NC thus reading other folks to understand why it is important to maintain it for your own sanity. I myself have texted and he always responds promptly but find I just want him more where as 2 weeks NC i was feeling much better!

 

My response would be backoff and go NC - I think she knows she has you thus being ugly because she feels she can do it. It may not even what she is really feeling.

 

I know NC is not about second chances but look at it this way - you are clear headed and healing and can make a logical decision and really she has to miss you and know you arent dangling waiting... Sometimes its the challenge that keeps some women interested...

 

 

You can do it and are worth so much more! We can do this togather!

[KewlBum]

I want to be able to do full NC, but I'm not sure if I can. I'm a weak person in this aspect. I've always loved texting and calling her. When we were still going out, it was usually me who would text and call her, and most of my tets tended to be longer then hers. I just couldn't get enough of her. I would've been happy to be with her literally 24/7. So now not having her in my life at all is way too hard. If she texts me back...I don't know if I can withhold myself from texting back.

And it just really hurts when she says in her text that when she thinks about our relationship, she realizes I'm an a-hole. I did some wrong stuff, but I never cheated on her or anything like that. I know I'm a good guy, and I cared for her sooooo much. I treated her like a princess and she's admitted that many times when we were going out. I was always so affectionate and caring. She was my world. I'm afriad she's forgotten all the good that I did in our relationship, and is only remembering my mistakes...and thus i am an a-hole in her eyes. That hurts me soo much.

I'm pretty sure tomorrow I am going to be calling to make an appointment for counselling on my campus. I can't take this anymore.

[monkeymaid]

I want to be able to do full NC, but I'm not sure if I can. I'm a weak person in this aspect. I've always loved texting and calling her. When we were still going out, it was usually me who would text and call her, and most of my tets tended to be longer then hers. I just couldn't get enough of her. I would've been happy to be with her literally 24/7. So now not having her in my life at all is way too hard. If she texts me back...I don't know if I can withhold myself from texting back.

And it just really hurts when she says in her text that when she thinks about our relationship, she realizes I'm an a-hole. I did some wrong stuff, but I never cheated on her or anything like that. I know I'm a good guy, and I cared for her sooooo much. I treated her like a princess and she's admitted that many times when we were going out. I was always so affectionate and caring. She was my world. I'm afriad she's forgotten all the good that I did in our relationship, and is only remembering my mistakes...and thus i am an a-hole in her eyes. That hurts me soo much.

I'm pretty sure tomorrow I am going to be calling to make an appointment for counselling on my campus. I can't take this anymore.

 

this really sounds like a self esteem issue. you are awesome and you know you are capable of loving another person, but how much do you love yourself?? really. do you love yourself to get out of your own way and get over this girl? do you love yourself enough to stop putting the poisin in your system of HER?? you would move mountains for this girl, but would you move mountains for you??

 

 

i didnt get it till i just understood one day that, "damn, i have to love myself as much and more than i loved that girl, or my family, or whatever." this is the key to most of our problems. ...we dont love ourselves enough.

 

you probably cared for her a lot, then when she wasnt giving, or sweet or wasnt happily responsive, you flipped a switch and was a little dismissive, or mean. ...let me know if im wrong, but you sound like me when i was 20 yrs old. ....she always came first. i never let her get into her own troubles, and i always had her back whether she wanted me to or not. in short, i cleared her path of obstacles so that she didnt have to feel any pain or undure any hardships. you werent going through things WITH her, you were going through things FOR her. there is a big difference.

 

 

do something for you that is going to make you smile!! try to love yourself a little bit everyday. just for a minute.

Edited March 26, 2010 by monkeymaid

[DramaFree]

I think getting some therapy is a great first step and i've found it does wonders. I really think you are just in this funk which stems from reaching out which is making you feel worse and based on what you've writen I really think not talking to her and her being mean has to be worse than No Contact. It's one day at a time my friend.

 

You can do this make a small goal for yourself if you have to ween yourself to NC. I know it works! I have slipped but fully know having lived through the most narcissistic individual for 3 years prior to this latest relationship I felt exactly as you do.

 

I literally had to go hour by hour, then i got to days and then months by just setting small goals.

 

I remember seriously marking a calendar everyday I did not talk to him.

 

I would come to this board and read why NC works. I would write him letters and never send. I would do 2 columns what I like and dont like and it helped to break the addiction to this person who by the way, saw last summer, first time after 2 years NC and had no desire to get near him. I will admit I from a distance about had a anxiety attack but thought that man put me through pure hell and did very little for me. SO try those when you feel the urge to text or call

 

Now on me - I do know I need to firmly stick to NC because I feel he is being nice to make himself feel better but it will not be long until he quits responding and I just want to quit before it happens. When he did call it was exactly what people have written no talk of reconciliation just small talk which made me crave contacting him more.

 

Based on what you've written you apologized so she can remember you as a good person. Dont give her the satisfaction of her thinking you have some needy man. Then there is no hope of reconciliation period. She knows she can treat you badly because she is still coming around.

 

Set a goal for yourself on trying to go NC.

 

Good Luck!

[KewlBum]

But I really wouldn't even mind if it's small talk. I know that there's almost no chance we'll ever get back together. I would, however, still like to be her friend. But that of course requires her to actually want to talk to me. And by her texts, she thinks I'm an a-hole and only remembers the bad stuff...