My ex is an ex, but our breakup wasn't bitter, mixed feelings emitted;

[Transitional_Man]

Thank you loveshack members, for providing us all with perspective and insight!

 

A breakdown of my situation can be found here

 

http://www.enotalone.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=17142&postday0&postorder=asc&start=0&sid=c1692e94e4e4a5e22f3ce8f12a8d8b57

 

So, if you waded through my long post, here is the situation; She still calls, roughly twice a week. She called last sunday "I called three times, I was wonder if you were still alive."

 

She is flying to London this week (Wednesday.) To see her newest infatuation; She still calls, hasn't said anything to me (about him)... I understand she doesn't need to tell me, it's really none of my business; Is she being my friend just to pacify me? Keep me waiting in the wings? Is she just really inconsiderate? I'd like to think the relationship got too serious for her (that twenty something quarter life crisus thing), and she had to "get out." Regardless, if this was the case, she's so quick to pursue someone else (across the pond no less.) I really love this girl, but realize I need some time alone.

 

What about contact? Our breakup wasn't angry, obviously I was upset, but I can't make someone feel something they no longer do. Question is, is keeping contact going to decrease our chance of getting back together; I realize that if feelings are there, time will pass, and things will happen or they won't. Obviously, if she starts telling me about >HIM< and expects me to be sympathetic, and objective, I'll suggest she go fly a kite; But, believe it or not, we were good friends throughout the relationship, I don't want to "turn my back on her."

 

I'm just puzzled as to which is a good call here; I do want her back, if she can learn to be happy on her own volition; I just don't want to fall completely out of the picture (and it's obvious that she doesn't want me completely out of her life.) Do people really become just friends, after 2.5+ years? I'm seeking some objective advice, being a hopeless romantic has clouded my judgement. Thanks and Cheers!

 

 

Transitional_Man

[lovehurts]

In my opinion. You never really get over someone that you have once fallen in love with. You get over the break up, the heart ache, rejection, lonliness ect. But you nevr really get over them!!!!

 

My advice is, if you want the girl back... sure make yourself scarce. Make it known that you are not around anymore in the way you once were. But if you love her, dont cut her off completley. It could still work out. Just make it known that you will be here for her if she wants to talk but dont initiate contact, let her contact you, and you know she will.

 

Does that help at all?!

 

Make her see that she has lost you, delete her off your messenger contacts so she cant see when you are online. If she calls for no apparent reason, wait a day to call her back. To be missed you have to go missing, but never cut her out of your life. You care about her....

 

Not sure if it makes sense!?!?