CaliforniaSunshine Posted March 22, 2010 Posted March 22, 2010 Hi Me and my exbf--we FINALLY worked it out. After several back and forth visits--talks etc we were going to be together. He did see his ex for one last time last month. The news--I just found out I am pregnant. She just called him and she is pregnant. Everyone is aware of the situation. Everyone is mentally breaking down. She is BEGGING for him back. I am doing the same--but not so dramatically. He says he can only be a good father to one child. We all live in different states (three). Right now---I am at the airport to go visit him. He wanted me to come but I said only if the other woman knew. He told her and she went ballistic. So then he said I canceled the ticket. I am here for the week--top secret-- and then he said he needed to see her. He hasn't seen her since she found out. He mentioned her spending a week with him as well. Everyone is at a mental breaking point. When I see him tonight and this week I don't want to push the baby on him. But the other girl is tugging at his emotional strings. Constantly talking about the baby, and how he is a daddy, showing pictures . Etc. I dont think it is right to play that game. I want to be the bigger woman. But her game is making him now reconsider her. He says I have a better chance but he needs to see her in person. And in the mean time--just keep things calm between him and her--so he isnt saying much to her about them being "over". Apparently she thinks everything is back to normal. He mentally can't take more drama--he is drinking staying up till 5. Things are bad. If any more drama happens it will be bad. When I say SEVERE mental break down--we are all not eating, sleeping etc. Help me--how should I handle this week? He has told me he is IN love with me....but loves her too.
Ilovecake Posted March 22, 2010 Posted March 22, 2010 I take it they don't sell condoms in these three states you guys live in? My opinion, abort immediately!
Author CaliforniaSunshine Posted March 22, 2010 Author Posted March 22, 2010 Hi I need some real advice here---I need some help on how to handle this this week. If anyone can help me with that--that would be helpful. Right now is one of my darkest hours. I have lost 10-15 pounds, can't eat, sleep.
Els Posted March 22, 2010 Posted March 22, 2010 I am so very sorry for what you're going through. Posters are going to be harsh on you for getting pregnant in the first place, but that doesn't help at all, I am sure. Do you really WANT this man to be the father of your child though? This man who 'visited his ex one final time' and got her pregnant?? Who claims to love two women? Surely your child deserves better? You really need to get back in health though first of all, before you can even sensibly begin sorting out this problem. Please see a psych, get meds to help with this for the time being.
LovelyDaze Posted March 22, 2010 Posted March 22, 2010 Hi Me and my exbf--we FINALLY worked it out. After several back and forth visits--talks etc we were going to be together. He did see his ex for one last time last month. The news--I just found out I am pregnant. She just called him and she is pregnant. Everyone is aware of the situation. Everyone is mentally breaking down. She is BEGGING for him back. I am doing the same--but not so dramatically. He says he can only be a good father to one child. We all live in different states (three). Right now---I am at the airport to go visit him. He wanted me to come but I said only if the other woman knew. He told her and she went ballistic. So then he said I canceled the ticket. I am here for the week--top secret-- and then he said he needed to see her. He hasn't seen her since she found out. He mentioned her spending a week with him as well. Everyone is at a mental breaking point. When I see him tonight and this week I don't want to push the baby on him. But the other girl is tugging at his emotional strings. Constantly talking about the baby, and how he is a daddy, showing pictures . Etc. I dont think it is right to play that game. I want to be the bigger woman. But her game is making him now reconsider her. He says I have a better chance but he needs to see her in person. And in the mean time--just keep things calm between him and her--so he isnt saying much to her about them being "over". Apparently she thinks everything is back to normal. He mentally can't take more drama--he is drinking staying up till 5. Things are bad. If any more drama happens it will be bad. When I say SEVERE mental break down--we are all not eating, sleeping etc. Help me--how should I handle this week? He has told me he is IN love with me....but loves her too. You should take a break from this guy...period. He is not stable and doesn't want to be. He has made a "typical" love triangle worse by getting you both pregnant about the same time. This whole thing sound like a "Maury" show. Forget a loving relationship with this guy. Just ensure that he at least financially supports your child. The other pregnant GF is NOT your enemy. HE is. HE is the one that played you both and HE is the one you were in a relationship with. Both of you girls need to dump that zero, sue him for child support and concentrate on being great mothers to your children. Do you think the solution is for him to leave her and be with you and the baby? I can bet all the money I will earn in my lifetime that he will cheat again. In fact, I can also bet he will go back and forth between the two of you telling you all that he loves one of you more than the other. Pretend that this situation is happening to a good friend or loved family member. What would you REALLY think is the most logical option that would be good for them? Think about that and implement that to yourself.
LucreziaBorgia Posted March 22, 2010 Posted March 22, 2010 You have a very hard decision ahead of you. Do you want a child now in general? Do you want to raise one entirely alone? If you knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that he would not be with you, and would not be a part of your child's life, would you still want to have and raise the child? Plenty of children come into this world with the expectation that they will provide a certain glue to 'keep a man' - when that doesn't happen, the children are at best ignored and neglected and at worst, abused. I'm not saying you will abuse your child, but would your resentment over the ex carry over to the child? If you know beyond a shadow of a doubt that you want a child regardless of his involvement (or lack of involvement), see an OBGyn, and get a full STD panel. Talk to someone at your local Child Support office, and get that ball rolling. The person who files first gets the lion's share of CS. Do NOT let him talk you out of child support. Also, ask your primary physician for something that will help - either an anti-anxiety or anti-depressant that won't harm the child, and counseling if you need it.
ADF Posted March 22, 2010 Posted March 22, 2010 Frankly, I think all three of you sound way too immature to raises two cats, much less two children. Either end your pregnancies or put your kids up for adoption. Then get neutered. All three of you. I am sure I am gonna flagged for this, but so be it. I work in family law, I see the wreckage this kind of chaos creates for the children.
Enema Posted March 23, 2010 Posted March 23, 2010 I think you should abort, get on BC and never see this man again.
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