jmo28 Posted March 22, 2010 Posted March 22, 2010 After the debacle of a date I posted about a few weeks ago, i decided to try the online thing. Its an interesting experience and something happened this past week that I found bizzare behavior and wanted to tell about it. I met this girl on there who seemed interesting. She said she was into ballet and opera and as a Jazz pianist, I'm attracted to women really into any form of music. So I asked her about it. We emailed back and forth a couple of times but she seemed a little uptight and only seemed interested in where I went to school etc. I asked her out anyway because she looks hot and is obviously intelligent and has cultural interests and figured a date can't hurt. She really wanted to meet on a Saturday but I didn't want to do that for a first date so she suggested a Thursday and we agreed to meet for a drink after work this past Thursday. Weather was beautiful and an hr before the date she texts me to say she wants to postpone to go for a bike ride as the "first ride of the season". I take this as a personal insult (cancelling last minute for a bike ride..no she didn't invite me to ride with her or anything). I texted back to say i'd be away most of this week (which I will be) so she suggested Sun night (last night) and I just didn't respond. So i forgot about her. Then last night at midnight she sends me a "VIP Message" on Match which I guess is a special message you can only send 1 per week to someone you're really interested in. The subject is "did you see this" and she links to a cnn.com article on suicides at Cornell (my alma mater) and says "let me know when you're back in town". Is this not bizzare? I mean I guess this means she feels bad about cancelling but why not just apologize and say I'd still be interested in going out etc. And, to post an article about suicides at Cornell? I mean if you're dying to make conversation you coudl talk about Cornell making it to the sweet 16 (she went to Duke and I know she's a college basketball fan). Anyway, I am leaning against every communicating with her again and my friends tell me she probably thought she had an "upper hand" and I would just run back to her after cancelling. I personally don't see how anyone has an upper hand when we haven't even met yet. I'll say one other thing. She grew up in a European country though went to college and B school here in the US. Could this be a cultural thing or does she just have bad judgment? Should I give her another chance?
Rearden Metal Posted March 22, 2010 Posted March 22, 2010 If you're having this many issues, and you haven't even met....well do I really need to say more?
Bejita463 Posted March 22, 2010 Posted March 22, 2010 Should I give her another chance? The up side is that if you decide to do so, you'll know exactly how she will treat you. I say that because you will, by virtue of giving her that second chance, taught her that you'll accept such behavior.
boogieboy Posted March 22, 2010 Posted March 22, 2010 Instead of apologizing and saying she'd be interesting in going out again, most people wont be that direct. Plus if shes asking you for something it risks rejection. It risks you ignoring her and she'll feel stupid for putting herself out there. So she is reaching out by sending you something she thinks you'd respond to, to start a conversation again. Its a chickenshyt way to start things again, but I say forget her. She postponed your date to go out with abother guy probably, obviously she wasnt that into you to cancel an hour before the date, or she's following one of those dopey date books that says to cancel the first date to make him want you more. But to hr defense, she DID suggest a new date each time, which means theres some interest there. SO maybe give her one more shot, but be prepared for her to cancel again, and if she does, just ignore her. She knows what shes doing and calling her out on it wont do any good.
Author jmo28 Posted March 22, 2010 Author Posted March 22, 2010 yeah i was not going to respond....and it sounds like everyone agrees just thought y'all would enjoy the story
txsilkysmoothe Posted March 22, 2010 Posted March 22, 2010 I don't think she realizes she behaved rudely and that explains why she acted as if nothing was wrong. Yes, I think she is that oblivious.
sullysteve Posted March 22, 2010 Posted March 22, 2010 She flaked on you. She's probably just playing with you. Don't give her the satisfaction.
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