zashing Posted March 22, 2010 Posted March 22, 2010 not sure if this is really the right place to post but here goes, so i have this best friend who i'm really close with and so we started to see each other more often during school spares/breaks and one time we got really close and we kissed. i was a little but suffocating i think because at first i wanted to take it further but she was confused and i don't think she wanted/was ready because she still liked this other guy her ex. i asked her if she wanted some space and she said yes, now i'm wondering how long do i give her space for? do i wait a week and then just talk to her normally? btw, i realised that what i ultimately wanted was to just be best friends with her and i don't really mind if we don't progress further (relationship wise) because what we had as best friends was special enough. thanks
TaraMaiden Posted March 22, 2010 Posted March 22, 2010 When she said she wanted space, what she meant was "I don't want this". if she hadn't wanted space, she'd be in. As she wants space, she wants out. Just tell her it was an impulse moment, and to forget it, you're cool being her friend, in fact you'd prefer it, if she does too... The young go through confusing episodes, and experiment in many ways. So you tried. So it didn't work. Come on.... so what? leave it be, and just shrug it off. And tell her to do the same. You'll be married in no time. (that was a joke.....)
bubbles5 Posted March 22, 2010 Posted March 22, 2010 There can b possible reason of she got confused cos she wasnt over her ex and so she tried to replace him by you.It can b merely attraction.She is more hurt right now so may b she is asking space.She may want to get settled with things.Dont give so much space that eventually u ppl stop talking . You can just start by saying hi and hello n leave check out if she feels better she will approach n talk to u. Control urself by not being attracted to her. And u can say politely that u like being best frnd rather than bf, i m sure she will understand but give some time , check if she is through with her ex bf..
Author zashing Posted March 22, 2010 Author Posted March 22, 2010 we've talked about it and i know what she's thinking, she told me that she is confused and isn't really sure what she wants but she still has strong feelings for him, and she doesn't want me to wait for nothing. i think we both want to just stay best friends, I've gotten over the whole attraction to her thing now and just want to work on our friendship. but what i am really wondering is how long to i give her space for?
TaraMaiden Posted March 22, 2010 Posted March 22, 2010 Here's a novelty.... Why don't you ask her? Explain that really, you're cool with stuff, and you're happy to just be a friend, because you realise she's still in a fragile state, so, you're happy to just wait, but how long would she like you to disappear for? She'll tell you. She'll expand, then take it from there.
Author zashing Posted March 22, 2010 Author Posted March 22, 2010 alright thanks for the advice, i might give it a day or two more then chat to her.
Author zashing Posted March 25, 2010 Author Posted March 25, 2010 we talked about things a little, she needs more space, mostly to get over the kiss/attraction/whole deal, she doesn't know how long i need to wait but she told me not to worry and that she wouldn't just leave my life haha, guess ill just be waiting it out then. i guess at least now i kind of know what's going on in her head, at least i feel a little more at ease than before.
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