eternal.denied84 Posted March 22, 2010 Posted March 22, 2010 (edited) i have a strong urge to express my feelings to my ex gf as how much she meant to me..i have many doubts though: will she take it as selfish attempt on my part? will she take it as mockery or a looser's attempt to beg her back? will she even care or just ignore my mail? should i drop this mail? PS: my gf broke up with me because she felt disrespected and pathetic with me..she felt that i never cared for her and never appreciated her. which is tru coz i never let her know that she is the one for me.. i had my own insecurities not to do so..i always use to think if would i let her know that she is my life..she would eventually leave me. need suggestions on should i do all those stiff now to make her feel special? current stage is that relationship has become very ugly,she doesnt want any connection with me as far as relationship is concerned.she is okay for hi hello though. should i be in touch with her as a friend and let her now how much she meant to me? or should i part away? Edited March 22, 2010 by eternal.denied84
TaraMaiden Posted March 22, 2010 Posted March 22, 2010 i have a strong urge to express my feelings to my ex gf as how much she meant to me..i have many doubts though: So you should have.... will she take it as selfish attempt on my part? will she take it as mockery or a looser's attempt to beg her back? will she even care or just ignore my mail? should i drop this mail? Your main questions should be: What's the point of this? Am I doing this for her benefit, or mine? Why not give myself the torture of a thousand cuts, which would actually be less painful? Why am I doing this to myself? PS: my gf broke up with me because she felt disrespected and pathetic with me..she felt that i never cared for her and never appreciated her. which is tru coz i never let her know that she is the one for me.. I've seen this comment quite a bit from dumped guys, lately. You men really need to pay more attention, and keep your eyes on the ball. Women are not going to be doting devoted partners if you give them no reason to be. Works both ways, of course.... But like I said, I've seen several posts from male posters lately, admitting they neglect their partners....Not too many from women, however... i had my own insecurities not to do so..i always use to think if would i let her know that she is my life..she would eventually leave me. Don't put the blame on 'something'... You just didn't do it when you should have done. Now? see where your insecurities got you? if you have insecurities, address them, but own your actions. it was a choice. You could have been more loving, romantic, attentive, considerate, generous with your time and affections, but frankly, you chose not to be. There you have it. need suggestions on should i do all those stiff now to make her feel special? No, for several reasons: One, you're broken up now. She's your EX-. Two, she will know it's all contrived and designed to get her back. Three, look at your question: Should I do all that stuff now to make her feel special?" You shouldn't be doing stuff like that to make her feel special. You should be doing it all the time, to make her feel special all the time, not just now, not just to get her back. Four: you have to sustain it all the time, and go on always, as you start. So you have to maintain this behaviour towards her for ever. If you have insecurities, it's not going to happen. Is it? current stage is that relationship has become very ugly,she doesnt want any connection with me as far as relationship is concerned.she is okay for hi hello though. You have no relationship. It's ugly, because it's over.... should i be in touch with her as a friend and let her now how much she meant to me? or should i part away? You should go complete no contact and drop this, move on, and learn from experience. Don't contact her at all, in any way, for any reason, unless it's to tell her that her hair's on fire.
spriggig Posted March 23, 2010 Posted March 23, 2010 You should go complete no contact and drop this, move on, and learn from experience. Don't contact her at all, in any way, for any reason, unless it's to tell her that her hair's on fire. Sorry, TaraMaiden is right. Go complete NC and move on. You'll only make things worse if you continue to contact her. Take what you've learned and apply it to a new relationship. It could be worse, you could have married her, had a kid and THEN done all this. Sheesh! Good luck to you.
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