Els Posted March 23, 2010 Posted March 23, 2010 "Sometimes it takes someone with great pride to accept generosity"? So marsle, are you saying you're broke and can't pay your own dates? Is generosity the equivalent of charity to you? No, silly, what she means (IMO) is that only a secure and confident woman wouldn't take generosity as an affront - even though she can WELL afford to pay for herself, she can recognise the gentlemanly gesture and appreciate it instead of throwing a fuss over who pays the bill. You know, like how we CAN open doors for ourselves, and pull out chairs for ourselves, and give ourselves the best orgasms? I don't understand what the issue is for you guys anyway. Noone's forcing you to pay - if you don't want to, just don't. Nothing's worse than a guy who pays because he thinks he HAS to as opposed to WANTing to anyway.
Woggle Posted March 23, 2010 Posted March 23, 2010 There was once a time where offering to pay or holding a door for a woman could get a man chewed out. Things are a bit better now but women have helped to create the lack of gentlemen you see today.
Jersey Shortie Posted March 23, 2010 Posted March 23, 2010 First Harmfulsweets, you are right that it totally doesn’t make you any less feminine because your happy to split the bill. That is what is right for *you*. And I do not think that makes you less of a woman. And it doesn’t make me less of a woman OR trying to “have my cake and eat it too” because I hold my own expectations on romancing and money either that are quite different from yours. On the subject of having your cake and eating it too, we seem to forget that since women were given certain rights, a lot more responsibility were shifted onto our shoulders and in turn, a lot less was expected from men gradually. Isn’t it a fact that women today both work more and still take up *most* of the child raising duties and house care? Men do more then their father’s did in this regard but we still operate at a level where women have taken on double the responsibility to do most of the child raising AND hold down a job. Men do not have to adhere as strongly to being the soul bread winners anymore because their wife/gf might also be providing for the family as well. And it’s totally about feminity and masculinity. If it wasn’t, we wouldn’t even be discussing it. You cannot deny how feminine and masculine qualties factor into an equation just because we gained progress on modern day conveniences. Do you consider men and women to be so completely adrondegous just because women can wear pants now? You can’t deny what women AND men inherenty respond to in themselves and members of the opposite sex romantically just because women now earn wages that can equal men’s. I think it’s fair to mention that women stastically speaking do not earn as much as men for holding the same job a man might. There are also suffiencently less women that are millioniares or billioniares. And there are numerous studies that women sometimes are more vunerable to being taken advantage of on sterotypically male-big-purchase items like cars for example. Such as a man will walk into a dealership and garner a certain fare and a woman will walk in asking about the same car and garner a higher fare. If we are going to talk about equality and money I think it’s fair to consider these. Oh by the way, yes! Absolutely women want to be treated with the same respect men are treated with! Is that wrong? Absolutely women want the chance at the same opportunties that men have. Again, wrong? Absolutely we want the choice to vote. Wrong? And some, I would say even most, absolutely still want to be treated like traditional women when it come to their personal and romantic relationships with men. I will ask lastly, is that wrong? I unabashidly agree with you there. Women want respect, the chance to have the same chances as men, and still be treated like women in their romantic relationships. The difference is I don’t see what is wrong about that. Or even hypocritical. Is it hypocrtical for men to desire to be treated in certain masculine ways in the confines of the bedroom or romantically as well? How many men LOVE to take a dominate postion in those regards? Should we tell men that’s wrong because after all, women truly are equal now right? I’d be curious your views on that. Since it seems to me that how you define equality is that equalness must span across the board matching value to value. You are not going to wipe away biology, the desire that many females have to be provided for, just because we burned our bras and can now vote. Now granted, we should contribute. No way am I not denying that. However, I just don’t think our contributions match tit for tat. If he changes my oil I am not going out there to change his. And I am certainly not saying that women should never again pay for anything just because we do like to be provided for. However, I do hold different expectations for men on their willingness to *want* to provide for me. If a man doesn’t want to, then he clearly isn’t the right match *for me*. There are of course women who take on a more modern approach, and that’s their right. But don’t be fooled that some men who take on a modern approach as well are doing it more out of their own concern for their money then they are about their respect to “women’s equality”. Most guys are looking out for themselves. Why shouldn’t I? Why shouldn’t I find that man that wants to share his life with me, all aspects of his life then the one who wants to draw boundary lines? That’s just me.
Shygirl15 Posted March 23, 2010 Posted March 23, 2010 I'm sure there are many different views on this, but I am a pretty traditional gal. I think the guy (being the pursuer) should pay for dates. So I've been unapollogetically just letting him pay and plan to continue to do so. Don't some people still do this?? Yes, they do. Unless I volunteer to pay, my boyfriend always does. It's absolutely fine.
boogieboy Posted March 24, 2010 Posted March 24, 2010 I'm sure there are many different views on this, but I am a pretty traditional gal. I think the guy (being the pursuer) should pay for dates. So I've been unapollogetically just letting him pay and plan to continue to do so. Don't some people still do this?? You might as well just say youre cheap and either dont have enough money, or you'd rather use the money for something else...like nails or clothes.
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