Woggle Posted March 22, 2010 Posted March 22, 2010 Ask Paul Mcartney what happens when a man isn't concerned about golddiggers.
Tnerforireyeh Posted March 22, 2010 Posted March 22, 2010 Hopefully dating should not be looked at as war. Those who have been unsuccessful in the dating game have great bitterness toward the opposite sex. There's no better place to see this than on LS.org. There are a lot of Darwinian failures here, and it's only natural that they should hate those they perceive as denying them their reproductive potential: the opposite sex.
Els Posted March 22, 2010 Posted March 22, 2010 Also men who go for strictly physical are idiots. Who wants a nice looking statue who has an intolerable personality? Certainly not me. Materialism in women is one of my biggest turnoffs and I would reject a perfect 10 physically because of it. No man would admit to ONLY wanting a perfect 10 - oh no, she has to be a perfect 10 and everything else too. But plenty of men turn down 4s and 5s who are otherwise the sweetest, most unprincessy, undramatic, intelligent, and unmaterialistic women. And then they wonder why they have so much trouble finding a 'good woman'.
Johnny M Posted March 22, 2010 Posted March 22, 2010 Johnny: By the way, from my own life experience, yes, women giggle and blush over looks equally much, but when a guy with less-than-average looks but whom they like in other aspects courts them, they fall head over heels in love regardless. Men seldom do that with less-than-average looking women. Your experience totally contradicts my experience. In my circle of friends and acquaintances, I don't know a single short bald guy who's dating a model. I don't know a single overweight dude with a hot girlfriend. In fact, I do not know a single man who is married, engaged or in a long-term relationship with a woman who is significantly better looking than he is. Even when I'm just walking down the street, I usually see couples comprised and men and women who are roughly in the same league. To me, this suggests that looks matter to women as much as they do to men.
Woggle Posted March 22, 2010 Posted March 22, 2010 No man would admit to ONLY wanting a perfect 10 - oh no, she has to be a perfect 10 and everything else too. But plenty of men turn down 4s and 5s who are otherwise the sweetest, most unprincessy, undramatic, intelligent, and unmaterialistic women. And then they wonder why they have so much trouble finding a 'good woman'. And women don't? Look at all these threads from women with great guys who are bored because there is no spark.
mrt336 Posted March 22, 2010 Posted March 22, 2010 I definitely pay early on, but I do take note of how generous she is in response. If she suggests we go somewhere else for dessert and picks up the bill, I'm fine with that. I'm just looking for a little effort, but yes I do fully intend to pay for dates. If I've been hit with an unexpected bill and cash is short for a bit, then the date might very well be watching a movie on the couch with some theatre inspired snacks, but I get away with it because I'm pretty awesome.
Els Posted March 22, 2010 Posted March 22, 2010 As I said, Johnny, there is absolutely no way for me to disprove your subjective experience, so I'll let that matter rest. Please comment on how much time, effort and money you spend on your appearance, and how much you think the girl who meets your physical expectations does.
Els Posted March 22, 2010 Posted March 22, 2010 And women don't? Look at all these threads from women with great guys who are bored because there is no spark. In my experience most women do not reject men with whom there is an emotional connection simply due to physical appearance, nor do most women claim to only want '8s and above', but that is of course subjective.
Johnny M Posted March 22, 2010 Posted March 22, 2010 All is fair in love and war. Men aren't employing fairness when choosing a woman to ask out, are they? Most of the time, they're asking her out for certain physical qualities. Most of the time, women accept based on certain qualities as well. One important quality to me is generosity. He can enjoy my qualities if I can enjoy his. Tradeoff. And logically speaking, whoever is initiating the dates should be the one paying. If I asked my friend out to lunch, i'd pay. How does that not make sense? This isn't up for negotiation for me. Well, at least you are honest. You are using men for money because you can - I can accept that (even though I personally would not date someone like that). But your lunch example undermines your otherwise honest and logical post. If you kept asking your friend out for lunch and she kept accepting your invitations without ever returning the favor, would you continue being friends with her?
Jersey Shortie Posted March 22, 2010 Posted March 22, 2010 Ask Paul Mcartney what happens when a man isn't concerned about golddiggers. Last time I checked LS wasn't awash with Paul McCartneys. And what does a man expect when he marries someone 30 years younger then him? Come on. He wasn't marrying her for "who she was". Give me a break. Men aren't employing fairness when choosing a woman to ask out, are they? Most of the time, they're asking her out for certain physical qualities. Most of the time, women accept based on certain qualities as well. One important quality to me is generosity.........This isn't up for negotiation for me. That's exactly my point. The guys here aren't more fair. THey are not picking women for their beautiful hearts and intelligent minds. At leats not at first. So It's hypocritical that they demand a woman start off by liking them for who they are only. The guys here aren't playing fair. As long as women stand firm on what they want, that's all that matters. Oh Sweetie, you are so obvious and predictable, it doesn't take great skill to figure out your thought process and 'foretell' what's coming next. After all, you are the person who started the "looks-digger" thread  Yes, I know that you believe that taking a woman's physical attractiveness into account is 'shallow'. I am willing to bet that this belief has something to do with your insecurities about your own looks. And I also know that you think that women care less about physical attractiveness than men do. As I already stated, this is just a self-comforting lie that women invent to convince themselves that the men who reject them are 'morally inferio You're just as predictable LOL. You're "I don't want a gold-digger" when you probably make 50K a year is amusing. How much a year do you make Johnny ? This is all your personal insecurity with yourself Johnny...all these "gold-digger" threads are for the men that whine and complain like spoiled little boys. You're all so afraid someone is going to take your tonka trucks you horde them close to your chest. You know what's even less attractive then a poor man? A miserly one. I'd like to see how all the big talkers here actually do in the dating world. Something tells me they give a lot more than they say they do, or they wind up alone in front of their computers a lot. I've dated quite a few ivy league educated men with ivy league jobs. I don't always get laid but at least I don't come out of it feeling like I was taken advantage of. I get the impression that you probably take advantage of women.
Els Posted March 22, 2010 Posted March 22, 2010 I see noone has dared to comment on how the expectations of beauty for men and women are far from 50/50. EOS, then.
D-Lish Posted March 22, 2010 Posted March 22, 2010 I usually like to go dutch on the first couple of dates and then reciprocate back and forth as the relationship progresses. My exception to the rule was my last POF date. The guy admitted to being on hiatus from an affair with a married woman and lamented about how long he should wait for her, the odds of it working out, etc. I let him pick up the tab for our 2 beers each when he offered- I decided it was payment for making our date into a therapy session.
Els Posted March 22, 2010 Posted March 22, 2010 I usually like to go dutch on the first couple of dates and then reciprocate back and forth as the relationship progresses. My exception to the rule was my last POF date. The guy admitted to being on hiatus from an affair with a married woman and lamented about how long he should wait for her, the odds of it working out, etc. I let him pick up the tab for our 2 beers each when he offered- I decided it was payment for making our date into a therapy session. Rofl, that's unusual. I usually insist on paying (as in, point-blank refuse to allow the man to pay) if I want to make a point that I am definitely NOT interested in further dates!
sally4sara Posted March 22, 2010 Posted March 22, 2010 I usually like to go dutch on the first couple of dates and then reciprocate back and forth as the relationship progresses. My exception to the rule was my last POF date. The guy admitted to being on hiatus from an affair with a married woman and lamented about how long he should wait for her, the odds of it working out, etc. I let him pick up the tab for our 2 beers each when he offered- I decided it was payment for making our date into a therapy session. This is pretty much it for me too. And yeah, I've let a guy pay when he was an obvious waste of my time. Its call A$$40le tax and there is no date #2.
Woggle Posted March 22, 2010 Posted March 22, 2010 I don't blame a women for wanting to protect herself from a man looking for a trophy wife so why should men not protect ourselves from golddiggers. I am not rich but I make good money and I do not want to spend my life paying alimony to a woman who has fallen out of love with me. If that unreasonable that I do not want to do that? People get on my case all the time for approaching dating like a gender war but isn't that exactly what some of the women in this thread are doing?
threebyfate Posted March 22, 2010 Posted March 22, 2010 I'm the polar opposite of D-Lish and S4S. The guy should always pay on the first date, unless I never want to see him again. If so, I pay the entire shot.
marsle85 Posted March 22, 2010 Posted March 22, 2010 Hopefully dating should not be looked at as war. I said love and war. Well, at least you are honest. You are using men for money because you can - I can accept that (even though I personally would not date someone like that). But your lunch example undermines your otherwise honest and logical post. If you kept asking your friend out for lunch and she kept accepting your invitations without ever returning the favor, would you continue being friends with her? I am not using men. I don't use men. I don't date men i'm not interested in building a serious relationship with. I don't understand why so many men think women go on dates with men just to get a free dinner. He's not buying me shoes or clothes - food is not WORTH hurting someone. I have never done it, and I never will. As for my example - my friends and I take turns. And applying that to the romantic scene, I have no problem buying coffee, or bringing dessert, or even treating once in a while.The pay situation is highly cultural. I'm not going to say it's right. It's not. It's sexist, I know. It's just what I expect because I grew up with my dad and brothers opening doors, etc.
Els Posted March 22, 2010 Posted March 22, 2010 If you ladies find them such a waste of your time, why not just leave? :S
JustJoe Posted March 22, 2010 Posted March 22, 2010 I pay for my love lessons, good ones or bad. I prefer it, to feeling obligated to any woman. If we hit it off, and start a relationship, THEN if she want's to buy me Din-din, I'm cool with it.
Johnny M Posted March 22, 2010 Posted March 22, 2010 You're just as predictable LOL. You're "I don't want a gold-digger" when you probably make 50K a year is amusing. How much a year do you make Johnny ? LOL...I make a lot more than 50K. Well into six figures if you inist on knowing. That's precisely why I despise gold-diggers. A woman who thinks that she's going to have the time of her life on my dime because I'm a lawyer and make good money is damn wrong. When I was a poor law student with nothing but student loans in my name, I didn't have a rich sugar momma taking me out to fancy restaurants and showing me a good time and I managed just fine. Women these days have the same opportunities as men, so they can't expect to be 'taken care of'.
Woggle Posted March 22, 2010 Posted March 22, 2010 You are no different than a man who expects a woman to do all the housework and cooking because that is what he grew up with.
sally4sara Posted March 22, 2010 Posted March 22, 2010 If you ladies find them such a waste of your time, why not just leave? :S It is the cue to leave. "check please!" But make sure you won't be mistake as a dine and dash.
Lovelybird Posted March 22, 2010 Posted March 22, 2010 I am not using men. I don't use men. I don't date men i'm not interested in building a serious relationship with. I don't understand why so many men think women go on dates with men just to get a free dinner. Maybe they assume that we are hungered for several days, and just wait for him to pay our dinner
marsle85 Posted March 22, 2010 Posted March 22, 2010 Instead of examining this rule in question - why don't we shred the rules and look at it like this: Haven't you ever found someone you were very attracted to, and wanted to do something nice for them? Opening doors, paying for a meal, making dinner for someone- they are being seen as steps in the courting process and have totally lost their true essence... TO BE NICE! A man is not a wuss for wanting to take a girl out a few times, and wanting to pay for her. A girl is NOT a gold digger for ENJOYING someone doing nice THINGS for her. Can't anyone be KIND anymore?
marsle85 Posted March 22, 2010 Posted March 22, 2010 Maybe they assume that we are hungered for several days, and just wait for him to pay our dinner Hahah, "I'll have a steak to go..."
Recommended Posts