How do guys know "within a few seconds" who is girlfriend material and who is not?

[Ilovehim]

I see this being said on here a lot and it confuses me. Many people have said it here and please explain what do you mean. If you see a pretty girl at work, dressed with style and not slutty and carries herself well--you would assume she is girlfriend material? And if you see a girl at the club showing a lot of skin and grinding with different guys--you would assume she is not? Is that what this means? Because I can't seem to understand how you can tell whether someone is girlfriend material or not by simply looking at their appearnces???

[carhill]

I've read here on LS that this is the case for many men and have read similar accounts from women, how they separate the 'friends' from the 'lovers' from the 'husbands' instantly. Sorry to say I'm not amongst that group. Good on them for being so intuitive and decisive

 

My personal belief is that time reveals all truths.

[Bejita463]

I don't see how that can be either. I'm with Carhill on this one. A few seconds isn't long enough to get anything at all done, even for me!

 

...Wait, what were we talking about again?

[threebyfate]

You're assuming that all guys believe they want their girlfriends to be the same thing. Not true. Some guys do want "slutty" (to use your identifier) girlfriends and others, prefer someone more conservative.

[alphamale]

Because I can't seem to understand how you can tell whether someone is girlfriend material or not by simply looking at their appearnces???

you can't tell by appearances alone

[PhillyDude]

I see this being said on here a lot and it confuses me. Many people have said it here and please explain what do you mean. If you see a pretty girl at work, dressed with style and not slutty and carries herself well--you would assume she is girlfriend material? And if you see a girl at the club showing a lot of skin and grinding with different guys--you would assume she is not? Is that what this means? Because I can't seem to understand how you can tell whether someone is girlfriend material or not by simply looking at their appearnces???

 

From her Face

[Ilovehim]

so it's basically a physical thing...if you consider someone beautiful she has girlfriend potential?

[PhillyDude]

so it's basically a physical thing...if you consider someone beautiful she has girlfriend potential?

 

 

Yup, if I don't have any attraction to her face it won't work

[aroll32]

I hate to say it, but I agree with Phillydude. You're not going to date someone who you can't look at without thinking they are attractive. This doesn't necessarily mean "hot" or "pretty." It's what attractive to you. For instance, I've thought a couple girls were pretty good looking and my friends had conflicting thoughts. But all in all, I want to date someone who's face is pretty and nice to look at and who's smile makes me smile.

[PhillyDude]

I hate to say it, but I agree with Phillydude. You're not going to date someone who you can't look at without thinking they are attractive. This doesn't necessarily mean "hot" or "pretty." It's what attractive to you. For instance, I've thought a couple girls were pretty good looking and my friends had conflicting thoughts. But all in all, I want to date someone who's face is pretty and nice to look at and who's smile makes me smile.

 

 

That's what it's all about

[loot310]

yup. it starts with the physicals for us. it sound shallow, but if you don't look good to us, you're not gf material.

 

noteworthy: people have different tastes, some dudes prefer "rounder"women

 

exception: occasionally we meet a girl that doesnt seem terribly attractive at first, but her personality grows on us and she starts to look more attractive.

[ADF]

They don't. Oh, some think they do. And sometimes they're right, but usually only by chance. You can't really size a person up in the first few seconds of meeting them. You just can't.

[adamt]

in most cases men will always go for looks first. if they fancy them then they check the personality after. i think with women they look for husband material such as stability,trusting, can provide and support. more emphasis on personality. there are exceptions but i think its in our make up from 1000s of years ago. men want the physical good genes passed on. it all down to mother nature. women are more emotional and men more physical.

 

take online dating for example, men just focus on the pictures and women will read the profile in more detail.

[Slainte]

Every guy is different, there is almost no standard "catch-all" appearance or way of dressing, however certain ways (probably what you'd call "slutty") maximize the chances of ending up on the positive side of the line.

1. Physical (first 10 seconds, 95% filtered out at this stage)

 

• Face [Yes/No]
  
• Body [Yes/No]
  
• Legs [Yes/No]
  

2. Psychological (takes longer observation)

 

• Humour [Yes/No]
  
• Attitude [Yes/No]
  
• Behaviour [Yes/No]
  

That's roughly how I filter out potential mates for the first time. Obviously there's tons of sub-categories and things that would trigger my interest such as hairstyle, eye colour, level of interaction, etc.

 

I then further categorize them by level of priority, in case the the first target fails, there's others to fall back on.

[Ilovehim]

that's interesting and obvious pretty much, everyone wants to be attracted to their sos..that's common sense. But from most guys I know, attraction doesn't separate a girl they would just sleep with and a girl they would wife up. For instance--they could find a girl beautiful and with a hot body and doesn't mean that within a few seconds they would know whether she's girlfriend potential or just simply someone they would sleep with. Same thing for women--of course we HAVE to be attracted to a guy for us to like him but we won't know if we want to make him our man by simply looking at him. I believe that for both men and women looks, personality and many other factors contribute to whether you woud want to be with someone or not; therefore it is impossible to say "yes, i would make you my girl" within a few seconds...but you can say this person is attractive & I would give them a chance to find out whether we are compatible in other areas, to decide whether we connect or not.

[monkeymaid]

its about attractiveness, and how she is carying herself. ....if it sends the innocent but willing look, its a night, if its innocent and confused look, it might be a project, if its friendly, direct, and tastefully flirtatious, then shes a keeper. ....then after that, its going ot be up to reality.

[Tnerforireyeh]

See, for me, she's only "girlfriend" material if she comes from a wealthy family. That can't be gleaned by her look alone. She's wife material if she comes from a REALLY wealthy family. All other girls are "good time" girls.

 

What I'm saying is that not all men want the same thing. I come from a well-heeled family and I've brought lots of girls home. My family judges them by things OTHER than their looks, and if I told 'em that some beautiful yet low-class chick was a serious girlfriend they'd disown me.