fantasy2000 Posted March 21, 2010 Posted March 21, 2010 Most men enjoy going to strip bars. It is that simple. They can retreat into a fantasy world, have conversations with beautiful girls and enjoy some intimacy with them without being judged and without commitment. He pays for her company and she is nice to him and makes him feel loved for a short while. I don't know of any other place in the "real world" where they can go for this. The problem only comes in if they cannot separate the fantasy from the reality. You need to know that it is a kind of fantasy. As long as this holds true Strip Bars will always be popular. I believe wives or girlfriends need to be a little more understanding of this and not feel threatened by it. If he had a sex fantasy in his dreams would you feel hurt by that if he told you about it?
sweetjasmine Posted March 21, 2010 Posted March 21, 2010 So having a dream and having a practically naked woman gyrate and rub her body on you are equivalent? "I wish boyfriends and husbands were more understanding. I just want practically naked men to hump my leg at a club every once in a while. I mean, would you get mad at me for daydreaming about Johnny Depp?"
Author fantasy2000 Posted March 21, 2010 Author Posted March 21, 2010 You seem to see it as a revenge thing. How would you like it if...... Unless you expect to have a 1950's style relationship I think it is necessary to be a little more understanding of the world of relationships today. As long as it does not become an addiction and common sense is used it can be entertainment.
sweetjasmine Posted March 21, 2010 Posted March 21, 2010 As long as it does not become an addiction and common sense is used it can be entertainment. I agree. This is why I frequent male prostitutes. It's entertainment and fantasy, and it all ends when I walk out the door. And I'm going home to my loving husband, aren't I?
Author fantasy2000 Posted March 21, 2010 Author Posted March 21, 2010 Prostitutes sell sex, lap dancers do not. The former is illegal the latter is not (within the rules of the club). I think society tolerates certain types of behavior. People flirt at work all the time but they make sure not to take it too far.
sweetjasmine Posted March 21, 2010 Posted March 21, 2010 Prostitutes sell sex, lap dancers do not. People flirt at work all the time but they make sure not to take it too far. Once or twice a week at work, I strip down to a g-string and rub my t&a all over any colleague who gives me a couple bucks. It makes cubicle life more interesting, but you know, it's fantasy, so it's acceptable.
Author fantasy2000 Posted March 21, 2010 Author Posted March 21, 2010 I think it is obvious that we are on different tracks on this. When I said society tolerates certain behavior I should have added in certain locations. If I was in bed with my partner it would be in a bedroom not in a storefront window.
Clep Posted March 23, 2010 Posted March 23, 2010 Prostitutes sell sex, lap dancers do not. The former is illegal the latter is not (within the rules of the club). I think society tolerates certain types of behavior. People flirt at work all the time but they make sure not to take it too far. Lap dancers sell sex. A long time ago I was a lap dancer for about a month. I did it for many reasons that all turned out to be bad. I was not selling shoes, clothes or food. I was selling my body to the highest bidder and selling one's body is selling sex. Is a person thinking about the laundry while receiving a lap dance...or are they thinking about having sex with the object of their thoughts? I am a much different person almost twenty years later which is today. In a happy committed relationship, a person's mind ought not be wandering to sex with another imo. When I am single and see a good looking guy I might think of what it would be like to have sex with him, while in a relationship I am thinking only that he is good looking. If I am thinking of having sex with another there is something missing in my relationship. If I am paying money to aid in taking my fantasy a little bit farther I am paying for sex. I personally do not agree with coveting another person in a sexual way even in my own mind let alone in a place that promotes sex. If you want intimacy without commitment maybe stay single? Btw, intimacy has nothing to do with sex or naked people.
pureinheart Posted March 25, 2010 Posted March 25, 2010 Most men enjoy going to strip bars. It is that simple. They can retreat into a fantasy world, have conversations with beautiful girls and enjoy some intimacy with them without being judged and without commitment. He pays for her company and she is nice to him and makes him feel loved for a short while. I don't know of any other place in the "real world" where they can go for this. The problem only comes in if they cannot separate the fantasy from the reality. You need to know that it is a kind of fantasy. As long as this holds true Strip Bars will always be popular. I believe wives or girlfriends need to be a little more understanding of this and not feel threatened by it. If he had a sex fantasy in his dreams would you feel hurt by that if he told you about it? I think you posted this in the wrong forum....I am not sure what point you are trying to make or who your trying to convince unless you have an addiction to sex.
Stung Posted March 25, 2010 Posted March 25, 2010 I just read this. Hysterical! OP, surely you can see a difference between having a sex dream while sleeping and paying a living human woman out in the real world to drink with you, talk with you, take off her clothes, and bounce on your lap with her bare breasts in your face. If you can't see any difference, you need to seek psychiatric help immediately because you have serious problems with your reality interface. Good luck with that.
JohnnyBlaze Posted March 26, 2010 Posted March 26, 2010 OP, I'll grant you that I haven't gone to a strip club in years. I pretty much gave it up when I realized that I could go to a normal bar and pay a lot less for crappy beer and still look at barely-clothed women that I didn't have a hope in hell of taking home. In my younger days, I did though (even when I was in a relationship), and I had the same mentality that you're stating. It was just a release, nothing more. The problem is that guys don't see going to a strip club as anything bad, but most of us also don't equate sex with any type of emotional or relational commitment. Women do. Let's be honest - having a woman rub her naked body all over yours is about as close to sex as you can get. As much as I'd like to back you up, even I can't justify this one. Like Stung said, there's a huge difference between an unconscious dream and the active pursuit of contact with naked skin, not belonging to your SO. Once or twice a week at work, I strip down to a g-string and rub my t&a all over any colleague who gives me a couple bucks. It makes cubicle life more interesting, but you know, it's fantasy, so it's acceptable. Who do I send my résumé to? I'll work for minimum wage, show up early, stay late, work weekends, skip lunches...
ADF Posted March 26, 2010 Posted March 26, 2010 Hmmmm. I disagree. While I do agree that strips bars are here to stay, I don't think women have the obligation to turn a blind eye when their husband or BF frequent them. Strip bars are different from porn, which all men look at and is purely vicarious. With strip bars, you are talking about interaction with living, breathing people. You are talking about potentially huge amounts of money that can be spent. And yes, in some cases, you are talking about prostitution, or arrangements that amount to it. I have to wonder what the pro-strip club crowd would say if their wives or GFs regularly visited gorgeous men who would strip for them, grind against them, etc. I bet most of them would @#% lose it.
Maxxx Posted March 26, 2010 Posted March 26, 2010 I don't think a married man should be going to a strip bar regardless. I would feel like I was cheating on my wife just by going to a strip bar. strip bars should be for single men! If your married you have no business going to one. I like how some guys justifiy going to these clubs yet if the shoe was on the other foot I don't think they would let their wife go to a "male" show Further more the strip bars I have been to (when I was single) DO sell sex and I am not just talking about lap dances if you get my drift..... If you have enough money anything goes! On that note I don't think this is posted in the right place is it? Unless strip clubs are an addiction for the poster
sweetjasmine Posted March 26, 2010 Posted March 26, 2010 I have to wonder what the pro-strip club crowd would say if their wives or GFs regularly visited gorgeous men who would strip for them, grind against them, etc. I bet most of them would @#% lose it. And you've also got to wonder how they'd feel if their girlfriend or wife started working as a stripper. Would it be okay for her to give other men lap dances?
Author fantasy2000 Posted March 27, 2010 Author Posted March 27, 2010 Stung thinks I should get therapy but I am not unusual among men. Trust me I have talked to a lot of them. Pureinheart yes it can be an addiction look at Tiger. He spends lots of money going to expensive clinics. Perhaps you can tell me if there is such a thing as a sex addiction or is it just a business opportunity to treat the rich. The therapy experts are divided on the subject as usual.
Tayla Posted March 28, 2010 Posted March 28, 2010 I humbly and gleefully applaud Sweetjasmines comments! Not only comical but dang it really does put things in perspective. Too bad the OP doesnt have a grasp on the true nature of the *opinion* stated .
FreddieJones Posted March 30, 2010 Posted March 30, 2010 Fantasy2000, whatever you say, still this is not fair to see naked lady just for some goddamn fun especially if you have your own lady waiting for you home to have some fun.
You Go Girl Posted April 7, 2010 Posted April 7, 2010 OP--you need a serious attitude adjustment, or you need to find a swinger gf. Simple as that. For the rest of us, you're EXACTLY who we never want to hook up with for a relationship. Read that last sentence over and over again until it sinks in.
Author fantasy2000 Posted April 16, 2010 Author Posted April 16, 2010 OP--you need a serious attitude adjustment, or you need to find a swinger gf. Simple as that. For the rest of us, you're EXACTLY who we never want to hook up with for a relationship. Read that last sentence over and over again until it sinks in. Yes it is sinking in. I wanted to say that my behavior was being fueled by an addiction. It is amazing how you can make excuses for it. What really brought me to my senses in the end was being around my family and friends and knowing that they had a very positive image of me. The only one that did not was me. I am now working hard to live up to their image of me. I do not go to strip bars anymore. In retrospect, I must add that going there was all I did. I did nothing worse thank goodness. Now that I have kicked that habit my relationship with my SO is improving. She has forgiven me and I call her everyday from work (something new). We seem to be rediscovering the intimacy in our relationship which was fading due to my behavior. When someone introduces me and describes me to the other person I am beginning to feel that what they are saying about me is (at least partially) true. I have a way to go yet but the fact that it is starting to have some truth to it makes me very happy. We have a busy social life and I meet lots of new people on a regular basis. Having a positive image to present to them is worth everything to me now. Life is looking better.
You Go Girl Posted April 17, 2010 Posted April 17, 2010 No, you're not unusual among men. Doesn't justify it, and certainly won't bring a woman with more than a few brain cells to IM you on here either.
You Go Girl Posted April 17, 2010 Posted April 17, 2010 Yes it is sinking in. I wanted to say that my behavior was being fueled by an addiction. It is amazing how you can make excuses for it. What really brought me to my senses in the end was being around my family and friends and knowing that they had a very positive image of me. The only one that did not was me. I am now working hard to live up to their image of me. I do not go to strip bars anymore. In retrospect, I must add that going there was all I did. I did nothing worse thank goodness. Now that I have kicked that habit my relationship with my SO is improving. She has forgiven me and I call her everyday from work (something new). We seem to be rediscovering the intimacy in our relationship which was fading due to my behavior. When someone introduces me and describes me to the other person I am beginning to feel that what they are saying about me is (at least partially) true. I have a way to go yet but the fact that it is starting to have some truth to it makes me very happy. We have a busy social life and I meet lots of new people on a regular basis. Having a positive image to present to them is worth everything to me now. Life is looking better. I posted my last comment before I saw this post...now that I have seen this one, Wow! Congrats to you!
Author fantasy2000 Posted April 20, 2010 Author Posted April 20, 2010 I posted my last comment before I saw this post...now that I have seen this one, Wow! Congrats to you! It is sometimes hard to admit mistakes but I feel a lot better for doing it. Cheap thrills are never really cheap are they? ...Once you see what you are giving up to get them.
SouthernSunshine Posted April 21, 2010 Posted April 21, 2010 I haven't read the replies, but I used to be a dancer. It's a complete fantasy world, unless the dancer is also a prostitute. My number one rule was to never date a customer. I had a BF anyways, so it wasn't a hard rule to follow. Even though I'm no longer a dancer, I still frequent the clubs occasionally with my SO. I like watching the girls dance, and I love to tip.
shadowofman Posted April 21, 2010 Posted April 21, 2010 I would go to strip clubs if it was worth it. But it's not. Why would I pay for something I can't touch? In this sense, Fantasy has a point. It's just 3D porn except not as good as porn cause there is usually no intercourse and you can't masturbate.
Eeyore79 Posted April 21, 2010 Posted April 21, 2010 They can retreat into a fantasy world, have conversations with beautiful girls and enjoy some intimacy with them without being judged and without commitment. He pays for her company and she is nice to him and makes him feel loved for a short while. Unless a guy is a complete loser, he should be able to get women to be nice to him and enjoy his company without having to pay for it! You could walk into a regular bar any night of the week and have conversations and intimacy with beautiful girls for free... of course, if you're not a real man then I can see why you would have to pay to get girls to like you.
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