LoveGun Posted March 21, 2010 Posted March 21, 2010 I came across some naked pictures of my girlfriend and her ex. They were next to her vibrator in her night stand. I would not have looked but the drawer was half open. There were some her and some of him (hard & soft); he was huge. I am well below average both hard and soft and if I had to guess he was probably around 5 inches soft and 8 or 9 inches hard. I have become self conscious of her seeing me naked and definitely concerned about her possibly masturbating to her ex’s pictures. Should I confront her or will I be opening a bigger can of worms?
sally4sara Posted March 21, 2010 Posted March 21, 2010 Can of worms as I cannot think of anyway to approach this subject without you coming off as insecurely pointing out the obvious. If you are much smaller than he, I'm sure she is aware of it. Instead, ask her about her satisfaction levels with your collective sex life. Is she satisfied, does she have any sexual needs being left unfulfilled. Do not compare yourself to him. If she is not having sex with him, there is no relevant comparison unless she is keeping him around just for penis points and still effing him. For the record, I've never kept a guy just because he had a big penis. It might have been his selling point at one time, but with nothing other to add to the mix, it alone will not keep a person in a relationship. The only real question here is if you had naked pics of an ex laying around your goodie drawer, would she tolerate it? The penis size is not the real issue.
Author LoveGun Posted March 21, 2010 Author Posted March 21, 2010 If you are much smaller than he, I'm sure she is aware of it. I can’t imagine the disappointment she must have felt the first time I took off my pants. Instead, ask her about her satisfaction levels with your collective sex life. Is she satisfied, does she have any sexual needs being left unfulfilled? I already know her favorite position is me standing on the side of the bed but that doesn’t work to well for me because I keep falling out. Do not compare yourself to him. I wouldn’t dream about comparing myself to him because it would be like comparing a little smoky to a cucumber. The only real question here is if you had naked pics of an ex laying around your goodie drawer, would she tolerate it? I am worried she will think I am snooping on her if I tell her I found them
sally4sara Posted March 21, 2010 Posted March 21, 2010 If you are much smaller than he, I'm sure she is aware of it. I can’t imagine the disappointment she must have felt the first time I took off my pants. I am worried she will think I am snooping on her if I tell her I found them Look, unless you have something finger sized, your penis size isn't an issue you can't work with. When I say I'm sure she is aware, I simply mean it is discernible - not disappointing. Penetration is only one aspect of sexual pleasure. And you should be more worried about compatibility in all areas. You ARE a snoop, her pictures are something you would be eventually aware of if the relationship became co-habitational. Since you are a snoop and the pics are not limited to her memory and therefore, discoverable, you might as well find out if she is okay with sharing and snooping as it sounds like they will eventually be issues dept with in a relationship with you.
ADF Posted March 21, 2010 Posted March 21, 2010 You have nothing to confront her about. She has every right to masturbate to whatever she wants. What people fantasize about is their own business. Don't be like one of those anti-porn feminists who thinks they have a right to tell other people what they can or cannot look at. And let's not forget, you were snooping through her drawers. She'd have every right to be angry at the violation of privacy. My suggestion is you don't mention this to her and quit looking for things to get upset about.
Not the love ace Posted March 21, 2010 Posted March 21, 2010 You have nothing to confront her about. She has every right to masturbate to whatever she wants. What people fantasize about is their own business. Don't be like one of those anti-porn feminists who thinks they have a right to tell other people what they can or cannot look at. And let's not forget, you were snooping through her drawers. She'd have every right to be angry at the violation of privacy. My suggestion is you don't mention this to her and quit looking for things to get upset about. I understand where you are coming from but in his defense she did have the drawer half-way open from his account, but yeah I'm all for privacy so I kind of have to side with you. They aren't married anyway.
Author LoveGun Posted March 23, 2010 Author Posted March 23, 2010 The way I see it is if she is masturbating; she probably is not cheating. I already know I can make her achieve orgasms through oral and hands but when we finally have sex I can tell she is just waiting for me to finish and to be honest I don’t really feel much anyway. I have the guy beat in both looks and personality so I am up one there. I know her ex is at least double my size so if she wants to masturbate with a vibrator the same size as him I don’t mind if that fills a need. I just wish she could find something else to fantasize with besides his pictures. So I was thinking about just hiding the pictures because she does not know I know about them.
sally4sara Posted March 24, 2010 Posted March 24, 2010 So you've decided theft is the solution? I don't know about you having him beat personality-wise if snooping, stealing, and avoiding any discussion about feelings is your normal M.O. Is this how you normally handle things or do you find these responses to be something new this relationship brings out of you? Come on.....you can be better than this.
make me believe Posted March 24, 2010 Posted March 24, 2010 Dude, if you hide the pictures, she is going to know what happened to them!! It wouldn't take a genius to figure that one out. I suggest you talk to her about them, because I think it's inappropriate to have naked pics of an ex when you're in a new relationship. Don't mention his penis size though for god's sake. You guys need to figure out if you're truly compatible though. It sounds like the sex isn't that good, so why don't you try to fix that?? Try new positions, ask her what she'd like you to do, etc.
JohnP82 Posted March 24, 2010 Posted March 24, 2010 Whoa, you're dating a girl that keeps naked pics of her ex and (perhaps) uses them to masturbate to? What about your situation sounds right?
Disintegration Posted March 24, 2010 Posted March 24, 2010 Whoa, you're dating a girl that keeps naked pics of her ex and (perhaps) uses them to masturbate to? What about your situation sounds right? My thoughts exactly. I can understand people may chose to masturbate to porn, however if she is using pictures of her ex for that it seems to me to be highly inappropriate. He isn't some stranger, he is someone from her past and therefore she is still fantasizing about him. A bit disrespectful.
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