DramaFree Posted March 21, 2010 Posted March 21, 2010 Okay need some support as this board help me years ago keeping me to NC of which got me to finally break an unhealthy relationship can you give me your opinion that I indeed realize he was disengaging! 1) Told me he had NOT talk to his ex for she lived out of State. when he told me at the beginning she lived instate about 30 miles ago. got really defensive that hadnt talked to her...Well she is engaged to someone else so wondering here. 2) Everything was fine came over after work stayed overnight asked if he was coming over the following night - he said depended on if he wasnt tired from working...WTF?? 3) night we normally go out called him said he had been busy and was busy ...I then said were you not going to tell me we always go out this night...I then was like okay - honestly a man that loves a women will make time for her clearly she are disengaging..all of sudden...he tells me sometimes he just wants to be by himself. He was leaving in a few months to go to his home country...I was like why are you hurting me? What is going on...Felt really needy and rejected..he said he had tried to do this last year it was hard....blah blah..Told him he need to pay me his half of the deposit since we wouldnt be going on the trip we had planned. He said okay....he said he wasnt saying he didnt want to see me again..blah blaj 4) I finally break down call him tell him forget it dont send me the deposit, dont need his money and I would probaly go anyway....He said he was really sorry hoped I would forgive him and it was really hard on him..My response was I didnt call to rehash things just dont want him to send me any money because it meant I would have to send it back. BTW he actually picked up when I called..when I hope to leave a VM 5) next day needy me sent him a text hope you forgive me for losing it. Just rejected and hurt..never wanted to be mean to him....I guess I wanted to poke him and didnt want to think I was crazy, got a text you Sorry for everything your the one that should be forgiving me... DAY 8 and no contact since. I feel a lot better my friends say I am better. I still wonder if it was someone else, flinging with his EX who has a fiance..his ex had a family member pass. Which you would htink if it was all legiate he would have been fine to just say hey... I was really close to my Ex's blank I need to go by the funeral home if that was the case. Bottom line He clearly LIED and then disengaged! Not heard from him. He did this same thing wanted to be alone same time last year. It's been very casual and everytime I tried to leave he cranked it up to keep me. What is he doing here other than what I keep allowing him to do! Jerk me around with his idea of FWB or FB! I want to stay NC! Why does he always through the I am leaving the county when he breaks up...His he afraid I am close to finding out about his lies or cheating? Please help!
LovelyDaze Posted March 21, 2010 Posted March 21, 2010 You need to be like your username...drama-free. Deep inside, you know what you will and won't tolerate in a relationship. PLUS...intuition is your trusted best friend. If something about your ex doesn't smell right, you are correct..it doesn't. Keep NC. Don't be needy or he will assume that anytime he decides to forget about his ex, he can swing back over to you as you will be more than happy to take him back.
Author DramaFree Posted March 21, 2010 Author Posted March 21, 2010 I know you are right. Just I guess wanted to make sure I wasnt be too overly suspious....I also wonder if the heat is getting out and you are thinking your mate is onto your cheating - do some cowards just end it first. I do feel better! and want to be drama free! I think no rejection is better than feeling rejected...
LovelyDaze Posted March 21, 2010 Posted March 21, 2010 I know you are right. Just I guess wanted to make sure I wasnt be too overly suspious....I also wonder if the heat is getting out and you are thinking your mate is onto your cheating - do some cowards just end it first. I do feel better! and want to be drama free! I think no rejection is better than feeling rejected... Sometimes they do. A cheater will act like it's all the dumpees fault the relationship ended and even worse, that the dumpee "made" them cheat. No one puts a gun to your head and makes you cheat. People do it because they want to. Always be alert with your heart on guard at all times. Especially don't fall for BS lines, some people know it can be that simple to keep their SO in the dark while they go out and cheat on them.
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