my b-friend is unhappy with our relationship but he wont say ?? What should I do??

[confused_and_worried]

[color=red][/color] Okay, This is so hard for me to do!!

But here it goes .........

Hopefully I can get some positive feed back or something that will help me.

 

I have a boyfriend that I've been with for about 3 year and we've had a really great relationship.

But... Lately...

He's been acting like a real ASS HOE. I mean he does things hes never done before and I don't know whats going on with him. I don't know if he is happy with the relationship, is he not, does he want to leave does he want to stay. I honestly don't know what is going on I need help cuzz this is driving me CRAZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZY.

 

Ok this is an example.

I'm at work , his off on sundays, I'm on work, I call him to see how he is doing and he does not pick up the phone.

okay............... I left a message. "hey how you doing call me back"

I called him 3 times whille I was at work. He never calls back.

 

I get off work. I'm driving home and my cell rings I pick up and its him.

He says "hey how you doing ?

I say "good! did you get my messages?

He says "what messages??

I say "I called you cell to see how you were doing"

He says " ohhh well my cell is dead and I was with my mother and my grandmother all day to celebrate my sisters birthday."

I say "ohh okay coo.

 

He says " so wuzz up what time are you coming over ??" I'm washing my car and I could use your help"

I say " Okay I'll go home and change and I'll be at you house in 20minutes"

He says "coo I'll see you when you get here"

 

I get to his house and his outside with his mom looking at a scrach on his car.

 

So I say "HI.!! so how was the celebration??

His mother says "what celebration??"

I say "Brigets( his sis) birthday party??"

She says " OHH we didn't go anywhere !! we did do anything I was too tired!!

I say " ohh and stay quite"

 

We go inside the house.....

 

I sit at his computer while he sit on his bed.

on the computer the yahoo sport page is up I want to go back to the main page so I press back. What do i get some girl nake picture showing a vivid picture of her *click*. Nothing but sick sh*t..

I look at him and he just stays quite

I say " you know what I'm going gona go"

he says " why??'

 

I look at him and I stay quite ... I go to my car and start to drive.. I'm so confused their is tears coming down my cheeks... I can't understand it.??? Whats going on here

 

WHAT IS WRONG WITH HIM ?????

wHAT IS WRONG WITH US??? ... WHAT IS HAPPENING TO US ???

 

IS HE NOT HAPPY ANY MORE??? DOES HE WANT SOMETHING ELSE THAN ME??

............................................. DOES HE NOT LOVE ME ANY MORE??

 

My cell phone rings and its him,

he says " Dont take it personal !! its just porn!!

I say ohh ok so then How would you like it If I when ON line and was looking for a big d*ck men

He says " Thats different..!!!!

I say " How is that different ??? Is the same !! If your not happy with our relationship just let me know !!! Please if you want something else , please just let me know..

He interrupts and says " don't campare your self with a picture !!

I say to him " I'm not comparing my self with a picture..You are comparing me too it..!!

 

I said to him " if i'm not what you want .. fine ... then go out and look for what you want but please just let me go I dont deserve this.

 

He hangs up on me.

 

I'm in my car craying my ass off... I'm so confused and I don't understand what is going on.

3 hours later he calls

I dont pick up the phone.

 

It's been a day and a half and I still haven't spoken to him.

What you I do.. I don't want to loose him But I fell as though I already have. Can someone please tell me what is going on ... What should I do. Some one please help me .

[Iamhappy]

My apologies for being so harsh, but your boyfriend is a passive-aggressive a**h***.

 

I read your profile. You are right about being the girlfriend of an idiot.

 

You'd think that after being together for 3 years you'd get a modicum of respect. Apparently not in this case.

 

He's lied to you about his whereabouts. He doesn't return your phone calls (except when he needs you to help him wash his car). He has you all twisted up in knots wondering what's wrong with you and if he still wants you.

 

I'd say he's looking to explore other pastures but isn't man enough to break up with you. He's either waiting for you to break up with him or he's looking to secure another gf before breaking up with you.

 

This guy is not just an idiot but a loser as well.

[confused_and_worried]

I mean it seem so hard ! ! !

We have been together for so long it > . . . it seems like i can't breath with out him. . .

I quest I'm an Idiot . . . ! ! ! ! for knowing what to do and not doing it . . . . I guess I just don't know how to do it.

[Iamhappy]

it seems like i can't breath with out him

 

I think this is a wake-up call to you. When you get to this point in the relationship and your very existence is linked with his, then it's time to step back and re-evaluate the situation.

 

A relationship requires a lot of give and take between two people. When only one person is giving or taking, it isn't really a relationship anymore. It's more like an indentured servitude.

 

There is no "us" because "us" has been replaced by "it's all about him."

 

Seriously though can you picture another year, maybe 10 more years of this behaviour?

 

Don't you deserve better than this? Would you treat your friends the way he treats you?

[look forward]

I Agree with Iamnotnotihng here.. your bf is treating you with such disrespect after being with you for three years.. Its time to protect yourself from this S**t and walk away.. how much more of this not knowing can you take.. I think you have put up with enough already.. the guy is clearly not worth your time he hasn't even got the decency to tell you what his problem is.. backaway from the situation.. dont call him and see if he calls you.. its time to think about yourself here girl...and maybe its time to stop wasting your time on someone who clearly doesn't deserve you...

 

It look sto me like you are trying really hard with this guy an dhe is juts not giving you an inch...before you lose all self worth let him go and as the saying goes if he is truely yours he'll come back.. but use this time to think about what you want and what you deserve can you imagin eif you were married to this guy and you had kids and he was treating you like this...

 

I know its hard I was with my bf for 8 and half years when we split and i thought my world had collapsed but i refused to give in and i have become a much stronger person for it..

 

hang in there....

[confused_and_worried]

No I cant. I mean when I really think about I know I deserve better than this ...

 

. . . . . . . . .I guess I just keep hoping and wishing that he will change . . . I mean I know he can change.. . When in reality the fact is that he wont change.

 

.. . .Thank You so much for responding back it made me realize that I'm losing "lost' a grip on my self and who I am . I do need to take a step back and concentrade on me for a change cuzz this is thruly hurtfull. I do need to re-evoluate my standards and what I want from My partner and I quess that is what I want a partner. LOl Thanks a lot.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Sincerly . . . . . . .

. . . .......................................................NO Longer confused or worried . . . . . LOL

[look forward]

pleased to hear it girl.. stay focused on yourself for a change and see what happens.. take it one day at a time..

 

best of luck to ya

[confused_and_worried]

THANKS CUZZ I'M GOING TO NEED IT. I DO REALLIZE THAT LETTING GO IS HARDER THAN JUST SAYING IT SO I WILL TAKE IT ONE DAY AT A TIME. HANG OUT WITH MY FRIENDS I HAVE NOT DONE THAT IN SO LONG ... WOW I CAN'T WAIT TILL MY SEMESTER STARTS.<HTML>

. .. ... . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . THANK YOU GUYS SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO MUCH ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !</HTML>

[confused_and_worried]

oka you guys I need some help here he just called I didn't pick up i let it go but he left a message and he is apologicing for th eway he acted an d said he loves me !!! and that We need to talk this out .....??? What am I gona do should I just talk to him. I'M CONSUFED AGAIN PLEASE HELP! ! ! ! !

[confused_and_worried]

WHAT I'M I GOING TO DO?? Post: 9 | Quote:

 

oka you guys I need some help here he just called I didn't pick up i let it go but he left a message and he is apologicing for th eway he acted an d said he loves me !!! and that We need to talk this out .....??? What am I gona do should I just talk to him. I'M CONSUFED AGAIN PLEASE HELP! ! ! ! !

[Vivid_29]

Atleast hear him out and listen to what he has to say!

 

~V

[HurtinginVA]

First things first. Calm down. LOL Dont jump and call him back right away. Make him sweat a little bit. Im not saying wait a week or even a day. But a few hours might do you some good.

 

If he wants to "talk". Get it figured out in your head what it is you want to say to him. What is it that you want to talk about? Think about what he may want to talk about, and think of the responses you will have. Really think about. You dont want to jump right in there and be speechless when you really need to speak your mind.

 

Let him think youve gone shopping or out for a bite to eat. Whatever. Then call. When youve got it figured out in your own mind (or at least as figured out as it can get)

 

Good Luck!!

[Kanuk]

Everything that's going on isn't completly clear to me. But i don't think you should be upset at your bf for looking at porn. Every guy does it. Well, i'd say close to every guy. I'd hate to think my gf broke up with me cause i looked at porn. We watched it together once or twice.

 

Now i look back and think it may of made her feel insecure about herself, but she said she was fine with it.

 

As for the lieing to you and not calling, well, that's another story. I'd sit him down and have a serious talk. If you do truly love him, you'll give that a shot. You said you were siiting at his computer and him on his bed and you two didn't say anything to each other so I'm assuming you haven't had a serious conversation about his/your feelings/concerns etc etc.

 

I wish my gf had talked to me about her problems instead of dumping me. Give it a shot. Love is worth saving if you want to. If you have no desire to, then don't bother. But i suggest you talk even for your own peace of mind to know what the hell is going wrong (even ifn nothing can be done about it).

[confused_and_worried]

my b-friend is unhappy with our relationship but he wont say ?? What should I do?? Post: 1 | Quote:

 

Okay, This is so hard for me to do!!

But here it goes .........

Hopefully I can get some positive feed back or something that will help me.

 

I have a boyfriend that I've been with for about 3 year and we've had a really great relationship.

But... Lately...

He's been acting like a real ASS HOE. I mean he does things hes never done before and I don't know whats going on with him. I don't know if he is happy with the relationship, is he not, does he want to leave does he want to stay. I honestly don't know what is going on I need help cuzz this is driving me CRAZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZY.

 

Ok this is an example.

I'm at work , his off on sundays, I'm on work, I call him to see how he is doing and he does not pick up the phone.

okay............... I left a message. "hey how you doing call me back"

I called him 3 times whille I was at work. He never calls back.

 

I get off work. I'm driving home and my cell rings I pick up and its him.

He says "hey how you doing ?

I say "good! did you get my messages?

He says "what messages??

I say "I called you cell to see how you were doing"

He says " ohhh well my cell is dead and I was with my mother and my grandmother all day to celebrate my sisters birthday."

I say "ohh okay coo.

 

He says " so wuzz up what time are you coming over ??" I'm washing my car and I could use your help"

I say " Okay I'll go home and change and I'll be at you house in 20minutes"

He says "coo I'll see you when you get here"

 

I get to his house and his outside with his mom looking at a scrach on his car.

 

So I say "HI.!! so how was the celebration??

His mother says "what celebration??"

I say "Brigets( his sis) birthday party??"

She says " OHH we didn't go anywhere !! we did do anything I was too tired!!

I say " ohh and stay quite"

 

We go inside the house.....

 

I sit at his computer while he sit on his bed.

on the computer the yahoo sport page is up I want to go back to the main page so I press back. What do i get some girl nake picture showing a vivid picture of her *click*. Nothing but sick sh*t..

I look at him and he just stays quite

I say " you know what I'm going gona go"

he says " why??'

 

I look at him and I stay quite ... I go to my car and start to drive.. I'm so confused their is tears coming down my cheeks... I can't understand it.??? Whats going on here

 

WHAT IS WRONG WITH HIM ?????

wHAT IS WRONG WITH US??? ... WHAT IS HAPPENING TO US ???

 

IS HE NOT HAPPY ANY MORE??? DOES HE WANT SOMETHING ELSE THAN ME??

............................................. DOES HE NOT LOVE ME ANY MORE??

 

My cell phone rings and its him,

he says " Dont take it personal !! its just porn!!

I say ohh ok so then How would you like it If I when ON line and was looking for a big d*ck men

He says " Thats different..!!!!

I say " How is that different ??? Is the same !! If your not happy with our relationship just let me know !!! Please if you want something else , please just let me know..

He interrupts and says " don't campare your self with a picture !!

I say to him " I'm not comparing my self with a picture..You are comparing me too it..!!

 

I said to him " if i'm not what you want .. fine ... then go out and look for what you want but please just let me go I dont deserve this.

 

He hangs up on me.

 

I'm in my car craying my ass off... I'm so confused and I don't understand what is going on.

3 hours later he calls

I dont pick up the phone.

 

It's been a day and a half and I still haven't spoken to him.

What you I do.. I don't want to loose him But I fell as though I already have. Can someone please tell me what is going on ... What should I do. Some one please help me .

 

AND NOW HE IS CALLING BACK TALKING ABOUT I LOVE YOU ETC.. ETC. WHAT SHOULD i DO.

[look forward]

first things first clam down and think about what it is you want out of this... I agree dont call him back striaght away he needs to know that he cant treat you like this and you will be at his beck and call... then call him and hear him out once he has said his piece have it readyin your mind what you want to say....

 

Stay strong and focused..just cos he says he loves you doesn't mean he can treat you like a door mat you get what I am saying..

 

good luck!!!!