shadowplay Posted March 21, 2010 Posted March 21, 2010 I used to think that everybody had flaws which inevitably emerged over the course of a relationship, and it was just a matter of finding somebody whose flaws didn't clash with yours. In fact most people's flaws are so obvious that you can spot them from a distance. My boyfriend is making me question that belief. He seriously seems to have no flaws of any sort. I realize we've only been together for 4 months, but I feel that I know him on such a deep level that I would be shocked if any flaws emerged after this point. And he's not somebody who works at being perfect either. He just is, and doesn't even seem to realize it. He's so genuinely confident, ethical, happy, kind and considerate without being a doormat. He does things because he loves them, not to gain recognition. His lack of flaws also doesn't make him any less interesting. I used to think I needed to be with somebody who was dark, because only they would understand me. But apparently that's not the case. He's interesting, insightful and complex. And remarkably enough he's not put off by my flaws, but he makes his boundaries known if I ever impinge on them. How is it possible for anybody to be so completely well-adjusted? It blows my mind (in a good way). Anybody ever date someone like this? What was your experience?
Woggle Posted March 21, 2010 Posted March 21, 2010 No. There is not a person alive on this earth who can say they have not effed up at least once in life.
Author shadowplay Posted March 21, 2010 Author Posted March 21, 2010 No. There is not a person alive on this earth who can say they have not effed up at least once in life. I'm sure he's effed up, but the point is he has no character flaws that I can detect. It's weird.
threebyfate Posted March 21, 2010 Posted March 21, 2010 Just enjoy your great guy! As for perfection in any human being, not possible. We can find partners who are amazing and very compatible to us, but we're never going to find perfect beings. I could pick holes in your partner, shadow, at least as he relates to perfection but why bother? You love him and think the world of him, so that's all that matters. I can also pick holes in my husband but why bother. I love him and think the world of him, so that's all that matters.
Lakeside_runner Posted March 21, 2010 Posted March 21, 2010 I'm sure he's effed up, but the point is he has no character flaws that I can detect. It's weird. I'm happy for you, but wait a little longer... Hopefully I'm wrong . I was in this kind of situation a couple of years ago - I thought she's perfect. Sadly, people do change a little as they age. Someone who seems to be perfect now doesn't have to be in the future. Again - I'm happy for you and I hope I am wrong!
CLC2008 Posted March 21, 2010 Posted March 21, 2010 I used to think that everybody had flaws which inevitably emerged over the course of a relationship, and it was just a matter of finding somebody whose flaws didn't clash with yours. In fact most people's flaws are so obvious that you can spot them from a distance. My boyfriend is making me question that belief. He seriously seems to have no flaws of any sort. I realize we've only been together for 4 months, but I feel that I know him on such a deep level that I would be shocked if any flaws emerged after this point. And he's not somebody who works at being perfect either. He just is, and doesn't even seem to realize it. He's so genuinely confident, ethical, happy, kind and considerate without being a doormat. He does things because he loves them, not to gain recognition. His lack of flaws also doesn't make him any less interesting. I used to think I needed to be with somebody who was dark, because only they would understand me. But apparently that's not the case. He's interesting, insightful and complex. And remarkably enough he's not put off by my flaws, but he makes his boundaries known if I ever impinge on them. How is it possible for anybody to be so completely well-adjusted? It blows my mind (in a good way). Anybody ever date someone like this? What was your experience? Yup...Myself Just kidding...To answer your question, no.
marsle85 Posted March 21, 2010 Posted March 21, 2010 Aww! That's so great. I really hope it continues to work out for you. Just be great for him, then too! Goodluck
sumdude Posted March 21, 2010 Posted March 21, 2010 There's a song lyric I love from a little known tune by Little Feat. "Love is a perfect imperfection." Go with it. No one is perfect but they might be perfect for you.
marsle85 Posted March 21, 2010 Posted March 21, 2010 No one is perfect but they might be perfect for you. Aw. Hoorayy!!
boogieboy Posted March 21, 2010 Posted March 21, 2010 Yeah Shadow, just enjoy the ride. You went from wanting to throw up in his presence to thinking he is flawless, so dont worry about it, its just your emotions going nuts again.
Woggle Posted March 21, 2010 Posted March 21, 2010 I hope when he shows his flaws like any normal human does that you don't all of a sudden become resentful. He sounds like a great guy nobody is 100% flawless.
Meadow Blue Posted March 21, 2010 Posted March 21, 2010 I used to think that everybody had flaws which inevitably emerged over the course of a relationship, and it was just a matter of finding somebody whose flaws didn't clash with yours. In fact most people's flaws are so obvious that you can spot them from a distance. My boyfriend is making me question that belief. He seriously seems to have no flaws of any sort. I realize we've only been together for 4 months, but I feel that I know him on such a deep level that I would be shocked if any flaws emerged after this point. And he's not somebody who works at being perfect either. He just is, and doesn't even seem to realize it. He's so genuinely confident, ethical, happy, kind and considerate without being a doormat. He does things because he loves them, not to gain recognition. His lack of flaws also doesn't make him any less interesting. I used to think I needed to be with somebody who was dark, because only they would understand me. But apparently that's not the case. He's interesting, insightful and complex. And remarkably enough he's not put off by my flaws, but he makes his boundaries known if I ever impinge on them. How is it possible for anybody to be so completely well-adjusted? It blows my mind (in a good way). Anybody ever date someone like this? What was your experience? For the first 6 or 7 months of my relationship I remember thinking "He's perfect" and "How could anyone ever fight with him??". I no longer think he is perfect, and I have thoroughly answered the question "How could anyone ever fight with him?". Just give it time. However, I think it's sweet that you are enjoying your relationship so much, and when the flaws emerge (or the non-flaws start annoying you and seeming less like perfection), I hope that you discover that you two still mesh so well, or that you can successfully come to terms with them.
ADF Posted March 21, 2010 Posted March 21, 2010 He has flaws, and you'll discover them in time. Four months is nothing. However, it sounds likely that whatever his flaws turn out to be, you'll be able to live with them. How cool.
alphamale Posted March 21, 2010 Posted March 21, 2010 My boyfriend is making me question that belief. He seriously seems to have no flaws of any sort. I realize we've only been together for 4 months, but I feel that I know him on such a deep level that I would be shocked if any flaws emerged after this point. after 120 days together he has no flaws? you must be kidding he must be very good at hiding them
carhill Posted March 21, 2010 Posted March 21, 2010 I remember building a pedestal once. It was perfect
start-fresh Posted March 21, 2010 Posted March 21, 2010 EVERYONE has flaws. Often people that seem perfect at first get annoying to me eventually because they seem to fit a definition of 'perfect.'
Crazy Magnet Posted March 22, 2010 Posted March 22, 2010 I believe it takes a good 3 to 6 months for the real crazy to come out of a person and for the relationship fuzzies to settle enough to see what the true incompatibilities will be. I don't believe anyone is absolutely perfect, but I believe there are flaws we can deal with and flaws we can't. I don't think my BF is "perfect" but he has no flaw big enough to make me head for the hills. I had one major issue, we talked about it, it became a non-issue. Perfect to me is being able to work through and past the flaws in each other and making each other better people.
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