feelings for a friend

[PDPullmn612]

Hey guys,

 

I have this friend, Hannah, that I've known for almost 4 years now. Me and her are pretty good friends and have been for quite some time. However, recently I've been starting to have these feelings for her and just wanted to 1) get it out and 2) see what your thought are. I should probably give you all some history so you can understand the situation better.

 

On her birthday back in December, me and her hooked up. Just kissed, nothing too serious. We were both drunk, but this doesn't really play a big part in the story. Anyway, after this happened me and her just continued being friends as usual. Nothing really changed in terms of our friendship. In between now and then she has gotten a boyfriend who she has been dating for close to 2 months. However, this passed Wednesday, while we were on spring break, we hooked up again. Again, nothing too serious. We just kissed and cuddled. I know most of you are probably thinking about how much of a dick I am for hooking up with her while she has a boyfriend. I do feel bad, but at the same time I don't feel too bad. You'll see why in a little bit. Anyway, when we were cuddling she was talking about how she couldn't date me right now which was fine with me since I was not even thinking about dating her right then and there.

 

So, the night after all of this happened we got to talking about it a little. After I told her that I have had thoughts about me and her dating, she had told me that she has thought about us dating ever since we first hooked up on her birthday back in December. In addition, I don't remember exactly how she said it but she basically agreed with me that what happened over spring break was mutual and that she had fun. After this, in a text, she had told me, "...just now's not the time. I think maybe after we graduate or whatever but your actually my oldest college friends I'm not ready to mess it up by dating. And again I like Matt [current boyfriend] and I'm really happy and so I think its good for me so I don't want to mess it up or think about other things." While I was a little confused about this comment, I just simply said alright and haven't thought much about that since.

 

After this conversation, a friend of mine had told me that he was talking to her about us hooking up that night over spring break. He told me that she basically said that I was not the kinda guy that she would just mess around with and that I was the kinda guy she would wanna date for a while. Whether this makes a big difference or not, I don't know.

 

Well, that's about as far as it has gone so far. Its just weird cause I never thought in a million years I would have any of those kinds of feelings for her. I dated her ex best friend for 9 months and had a really good relationship with her. In addition, I used to be pretty good friends with her ex boy friend (the one before the guy she is dating currently). So, its easy to see why I would be surprised at having feelings towards her.

 

I have been thinking about this and her a lot since Wednesday night. The situation is confusing me a little. Like I'm happy that I'm starting to have feelings with someone. Unfortunately, its feelings for someone that I cannot be with right now. I haven't been stressing too much over it since if it won't happen I don't wanna mess up a friendship and it's not really worth it to worry that much right?

 

Anyway, just wanted to get that off my chest! I just needed to tell someone . If you guys have any thoughts let me know. I definitely want to hear them. Sorry for the really long post. Thanks guys.

 

-Dave

[PDPullmn612]

I know its long, but no input? C'mon :-)