yongyong Posted March 20, 2010 Posted March 20, 2010 so I've known this girl more than a year. when I first met her she straight up talked about her bf. we hung out together few times but didn't do anything serious. Now I hired this girl in my store and we see each other regularly She broke up with her bf recently. I asked her if she wanted to do something few times but she came up with excuses. yeah she knows I like her she is still sweet towards me. she just says 'I can't' when I ask her out. (you know the situation when you have to ignore the chick to get her attention but when I see her smiling at me, it just melts my mind) I hired another chick. I was just talking with a new chick and I could see her getting jealous big time. she told me 'hey I dreamed about you. in my dream, you started dating the new girl and you fired me' I don't know why she said that. I don't understand why a girl would get jealous if she is not interested in me. It just makes me mad. if she doesn't like me, fine just do your thing and she can ignore me, now I am working with a new chick and all of sudden she is getting jealous? I can honestly say 'this type of a girl would go for a guy who meets different girls (for them, they look hard to get) and ignore the ones who like just her' (if a guy is faithfull to one chick, he is loser but if he is banging multiple chicks at same time, he is the one lol) well the thing is, women control the sex and guys control the relationship (it's hard for women to make them commit) well guess how that chick broke up with her bf? because he cheated on her. I guarantee she will meet the same guy like that and get torn apart again.
spiderowl Posted March 21, 2010 Posted March 21, 2010 Maybe she's afraid of dating where she works. You are her boss, I presume, so if she dated you and it went wrong she could get sacked. She may fear being sacked anyway, if you are her boss and she turns you down. Although I do believe dating at work can work OK, if it's your boss it's really difficult. She may be saying she can't because of that, though obviously we don't know her so can't be sure. Whatever you do, don't use your power at work to get her attention or to influence her in any way. If you really like this girl and you are not just playing with her because she hasn't immediately shown interest in you, then make sure someone else is her boss in the workplace so that she knows she is not answering to you and that you have no influence over her future at work. Maybe then she will consider you. But you need to get over this anger towards her. She may not want to date you; she may not be interested. It's not her fault or yours, it's just nature. I think if you really like this woman, instead of doing childish things like being all over her or trying to make her jealous, just treat her with respect and like a lady. Show an interest, but then make it clear it's up to her to keep in touch with you and follow up. If you behave like and adult, you will be all the more appealing. Women go for mature men, not those they are going to have to teach how to treat them.
bati Posted March 21, 2010 Posted March 21, 2010 Ive been in this situation. I was with a bf, got hired by a friend of mine i knew for about 3 years prior. Left my bf and the "friend" and i started dating. We eventually got married and because the relationship started at work it was all worked based. We divorced after 6 hectic years. My recommendation... dont date at work. Old advice, but valid advice. My impression, she is jeleous because she likes you, but does not want to lose her job. If you continue asking her out and flirting with her, she will continue to get more jelouse and either cave to date you causing work conflicts and resentment with other employees, putting both your jobs possibly at risk depending on your situation. Stay away, be friendly, not flirty, and hope one of you finds other employement.
jthorne Posted March 21, 2010 Posted March 21, 2010 (edited) If you hired her, you definitely shouldn't date her. ESPECIALLY if you are her supervisor. You're opening it up for a sexual harassment suit if things go awry. Your company may also have a rule against supervisors having personal "relationships" with subordinates. Even if things go swimmingly, you could be fired for dating a subordinate. But to answer your question, I don't necessarily see that the first girl is that interested in you. I think she sees your interest in the other girl and wants to make sure you are not going to give second girl preferential treatment, being work-related or otherwise. Edited March 21, 2010 by jthorne
threebyfate Posted March 21, 2010 Posted March 21, 2010 I've seen this territorial dynamic with girls. She's risking losing her attention supply, particularly since you're her boss. My advice to you is to stay the hell away and treat her in a friendly and professional manner.
happyjule2009 Posted March 29, 2010 Posted March 29, 2010 "I don't understand why a girl would get jealous if she is not interested in me." She gets jealous because she can't have you. It's human nature. It's weird like that. You also don't want to be her rebound guy so don't try to date her.
123BeachFan Posted April 4, 2010 Posted April 4, 2010 If you hired her, you definitely shouldn't date her. ESPECIALLY if you are her supervisor. I agree with JT. You've hired these women to work for you, which means that they are off limits to dating and flirting.
yume Posted April 4, 2010 Posted April 4, 2010 I asked her if she wanted to do something few times but she came up with excuses. I don't understand why a girl would get jealous if she is not interested in me. It's not that she isn't interested in you, it's that she just broke up with her ex and doesn't want to leap into another thing so soon. Yeah, she is probably a little bit jealous because in her eyes you've done a 180 and are now paying attention to some other girl. If you really want to date her, just be patient. Her "excuses" mean she is unsure and is holding back. She most likely doesn't want to get hurt again. The thing I don't really get is why you hired her. Did you think she would like you more for giving her a job? If you date an employee, you're risking....tarnishing your reputation, imo. It's not that you're her coworker - you're her boss. Altogether, I would stop pursuing this. I can't see how it would end well.
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