Johnny M Posted March 20, 2010 Posted March 20, 2010 There are a lot of threads on this board asking for advice on how to avoid falling in the dreaded "friend zone", but I'm in the opposite situation. I know this girl who I can tell likes me a lot. She's a very nice girl - intelligent, friendly, down to earth, you get the picture. Physically, though, she just doesn't do it for me (plus, she's a couple of years older). She asked me out for a drink last weekend and I agreed. I guess this was a 'date' of sorts, from her standpoint anyway. Now I generally don't believe in platonic friendship between members of the opposite sex, but I want to try making an exception in this case. Like I said, she has a great personality and we have a lot of things in common...besides, it's not often that I meet people that I genuinely like. So how should I handle this situation? I haven't talked to her since last weekend because I did not want to give her the wrong idea. If I contact her now, would it be clear that I'm only interested in friendship? Or do I need to explain it? And if so, what should I say? I don't want to feed her the typical "let's just be friends" line because she will assume that I'm just blowing her off, while in reality I actually am interested in being friends with her.
urt Posted March 20, 2010 Posted March 20, 2010 Just go out with her as a friend without ever taking it to the next level, but realise that if she does hook up with another man, you may lose that friendship if he turns out to be a controlling a-hole. That's just the way it is. There's nothing wrong with wanting to be friends with her, but the reality is that she still has every right to get on with her life regardless.
St. Nick Posted March 20, 2010 Posted March 20, 2010 I'm pretty sure the one thing you know is that the one thing female friends are good for is helping you catch other women. You could go out by yourself or with other guys, but women won't give you nearly as much eye contact as when you're with your female friend, or female relative, or gf. If you go out on a few more dates with her chances are you'll meet other chicks who like you and get some poontang. Then you can be like, "Oh, I've met someone else" in case she wants to take it to the next level. And you won't be lying when you say that. In fact, you could even thank her for helping you find her. Another thing, try to see if you could find yourself attracted to her. If not, then go with my first suggestion: keep her to help you get women.
Author Johnny M Posted March 20, 2010 Author Posted March 20, 2010 Just go out with her as a friend without ever taking it to the next level, but realise that if she does hook up with another man, you may lose that friendship if he turns out to be a controlling a-hole. That's just the way it is. There's nothing wrong with wanting to be friends with her, but the reality is that she still has every right to get on with her life regardless. I'm in no way suggesting that she has no right to get on with her life. My main concern is that she is attracted to me, and I don't want to give her the false belief that there could ever be anything romantic between us. I've been in a situation like this before, going out with a girl as friends....or so I thought. One day, as I walked her to her car and hugged her good night, she decided to kiss me. Caught me completely off guard and needless to say, was a little awkward (I wasn't interested in that girl romantically either). So I just want to avoid any potential misunderstanding. I'm pretty sure the one thing you know is that the one thing female friends are good for is helping you catch other women. You could go out by yourself or with other guys, but women won't give you nearly as much eye contact as when you're with your female friend, or female relative, or gf. If you go out on a few more dates with her chances are you'll meet other chicks who like you and get some poontang. Then you can be like, "Oh, I've met someone else" in case she wants to take it to the next level. And you won't be lying when you say that. In fact, you could even thank her for helping you find her. Another thing, try to see if you could find yourself attracted to her. If not, then go with my first suggestion: keep her to help you get women. To be honest, I didn't even think about that angle, but you are right, of course. The main reason I want to try being friends with this girl is the fact that I actually enjoy talking to her and we can have conversations on subjects most other people know nothing about. As for growing attracted to her, I don't think it would ever happen nor would I want it to, really. I'm not trying to brag but I don't have much problem getting dates. There are a number of more attractive girls that I could be dating, so that's not the issue.
alphamale Posted March 20, 2010 Posted March 20, 2010 So how should I handle this situation? I haven't talked to her since last weekend because I did not want to give her the wrong idea. If I contact her now, would it be clear that I'm only interested in friendship? Or do I need to explain it? And if so, what should I say? I don't want to feed her the typical "let's just be friends" line because she will assume that I'm just blowing her off, while in reality I actually am interested in being friends with her. you need to explain...if she really like you she probably won't go the friends route so be prepared
befreckled Posted March 21, 2010 Posted March 21, 2010 Do you have mutual friends in common? If you do, invite those people along everytime she asks you out..after a while she'll kinda of get it. If you are watching a movie, or a place where you have to be next to her...make sure you sit as furthest from her as possible. The other thing you can do is make up a fictitious girl and ask her for dating advice? That is kinda of mean so I wouldnt do that unless I didn't have a choice.
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