blonde_shrew Posted March 20, 2010 Posted March 20, 2010 ok. so me and my boyfriend have been together comin up to 8months now. And he has alot of female friends, which is fine. but lately he's spent more time with and talking to them than he has me. when he's at work he tells me he's busy so he cant txt, but he's always texting other people when he's 'busy'. He sent me a saucy pic of himself which i thought he'd only sent to me but then i found out he'd also sent it to his ex and one of his female friends. he said it was an accident, but i'm not convinced. And today he left his phone at mine and got a txt, i thought it was from his mum coz he was expecting one so i read it. but it was from another girl saying she wanted naked pictures of him again. i have no idea what to do. i love him with all my heart and we're planning our wedding. i don't know whether to confront him about it or not. do you think he's cheating??
urt Posted March 20, 2010 Posted March 20, 2010 ok. so me and my boyfriend have been together comin up to 8months now. And he has alot of female friends, which is fine. but lately he's spent more time with and talking to them than he has me. when he's at work he tells me he's busy so he cant txt, but he's always texting other people when he's 'busy'. He sent me a saucy pic of himself which i thought he'd only sent to me but then i found out he'd also sent it to his ex and one of his female friends. he said it was an accident, but i'm not convinced. And today he left his phone at mine and got a txt, i thought it was from his mum coz he was expecting one so i read it. but it was from another girl saying she wanted naked pictures of him again. i have no idea what to do. i love him with all my heart and we're planning our wedding. i don't know whether to confront him about it or not. do you think he's cheating?? Yes, he's cheating. No, he isn't marriage material. And yes, you are in denial if you're asking the question here instead of simply looking at the evidence presented to you. And please, spare me the "love" argument. If it truly is love, you'll accept that he's not ready for marriage and you'll move on and let him go. On the other hand, if you're going to "try to make this work", that isn't love, it's ego and probably lust. Let it go. BTW, when a man has female 'friends', it usually means he wants to have sex with them. Yes, there are some exceptions, but if he has 'a lot' of female friends, and if they are attractive, it's almost certain he has a desire to have sex with at least one of them.
seibert253 Posted March 21, 2010 Posted March 21, 2010 If he's not cheating, he's involved in very inappropriate contact. NO WAAAAAY, he should be sending ANY naked pictures to any chicks other than you. If he's blowin you off to talk, be with, or text any of his female "friends", that's also a big problem. You should be #1 with him. IMO I don't think he's marrying material right. Now. If he "see's the light" and grows up, who knows. But right now, PLEASE don't make a mistake by marrying this clown. YES you need to confront him about all of this. If he's not honest and upfront about it, he needs to go by by.
kevinm1019 Posted March 21, 2010 Posted March 21, 2010 If he's not cheating, he's involved in very inappropriate contact. NO WAAAAAY, he should be sending ANY naked pictures to any chicks other than you. If he's blowin you off to talk, be with, or text any of his female "friends", that's also a big problem. You should be #1 with him. IMO I don't think he's marrying material right. Now. If he "see's the light" and grows up, who knows. But right now, PLEASE don't make a mistake by marrying this clown. YES you need to confront him about all of this. If he's not honest and upfront about it, he needs to go by by. Ummm... how do you "accidently" send a text to someone... or multiple people??
marsle85 Posted March 21, 2010 Posted March 21, 2010 ok. so me and my boyfriend have been together comin up to 8months now. And he has alot of female friends, which is fine. but lately he's spent more time with and talking to them than he has me. when he's at work he tells me he's busy so he cant txt, but he's always texting other people when he's 'busy'. He sent me a saucy pic of himself which i thought he'd only sent to me but then i found out he'd also sent it to his ex and one of his female friends. he said it was an accident, but i'm not convinced. And today he left his phone at mine and got a txt, i thought it was from his mum coz he was expecting one so i read it. but it was from another girl saying she wanted naked pictures of him again. i have no idea what to do. i love him with all my heart and we're planning our wedding. i don't know whether to confront him about it or not. do you think he's cheating?? Firstly, I'm so sorry you're in this situation! You in NO way should be planning a wedding however. I see you're new to LS, and this was probably the inspiration. Follow your gut, babe. This isn't right. You need to talk to him. Right away. And DO NOT let it slide.
D-Lish Posted March 21, 2010 Posted March 21, 2010 I don't understand why you haven't left him already. Why would you put up with this? The message you are sending by staying with a guy like this is that you're willing to put up with his BS. My closest friend from highschool married a guy like this- they have three kids and he's had numerous affairs. If this is the life you want for yourself, by all means stay with this guy. He didn't accidentally send anyone anything- he's just a douche, plain and simple.
jujubeesbeth Posted March 22, 2010 Posted March 22, 2010 i know how you feel, my husband was texting, web-camming, and e-mailing inappropriate pics and getting them too. i know its hard, but end it. you will feel so much better when you aren't wondering what he is hiding. men cheat for many reasons and being a narsisstic arse hole is not a reason that can be fixed.
LucreziaBorgia Posted March 22, 2010 Posted March 22, 2010 Marrying him isn't going to change anything. Your best bet is to walk away now, or waste a good many years, a legal fight, and a lot of money on a divorce later. There really isn't a point in marrying someone under these circumstances.
Author blonde_shrew Posted March 22, 2010 Author Posted March 22, 2010 Thing is, the girl who was txting him asking for the pictures is a lesbian. and i found out today that i'm pregnant, so i can't walk away completely coz i'm having a baby with him. i do love him so so much, and if i can't walk away completely and have nothing to do with him at all i'm just gunna keep coming back coz he's what i want :-(
ADF Posted March 22, 2010 Posted March 22, 2010 If he's not cheating now, he will be soon. Open your eyes. Don't marry this guy.
LovelyDaze Posted March 22, 2010 Posted March 22, 2010 If he's not cheating now, he will be soon. Open your eyes. Don't marry this guy. EXACTLY. Sweetheart, Do not marry this man. Postpone this wedding(I'd even prefer you cancel it) and take a break from him. Marrying him will NOT calm his behavior down one iota. It will get worse. Often times when you see bad behavior in a relationship a person thinks that marriage will fix it. No, it only amps it up to terrible levels. He's "testing" waters at best. Other than that, I think he is already been in the game...
SadandConfusedWA Posted March 23, 2010 Posted March 23, 2010 I predict that you will marry this guy and live a life full of deep depression, anxiety, doubt, second-guessing and rock-bottom self-esteem. And all because you are too weak to walk away. You can't walk away because you love him? Guess what, he doesn't love you. He might say that he does, but his actions say otherwise. You have all the evidence you need to leave now. If you don't you will only have yourself to blame for making yours and your childs life hell. There is nothing more pathetic than women who stay with proven cheaters (and yes, he IS cheating on you and with multiple women too).
Silver_star Posted March 23, 2010 Posted March 23, 2010 I feel soo sad for your predicament. I feel like i still gravitate towards my ex who did similar shady things and broke up with me and i allowed him back several tmes and overlooked several things and told myself i was crazy when i knew i wasnt...and im so thankful i didnt get knocked up. Your stuck with being attached (through this child anyway) but you can still save yourself the loooong life of constant dissapointment, paranoia and heartache by leaving him. Even if you have his child...you dont have to be with him. Having his child may only change things temporarily..but he is who he is and your not going to change that obviously. Oh..there is no way you can send a naked pic to multiple users by accident. He wants the ego stroking and my inkling is hes doing more than just sending out pictures
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