Dadubwa Posted March 20, 2010 Posted March 20, 2010 Look I didn't lose a girlfriend or a significant other. It's not like we were a couple, it's not like we were committed or anything. She brightened my day though. As corny and cliche as I know that sounds... she made me smile. She ALWAYS had a way to put a smile on my face. Time after time, it never got old. She just kinda "got" me and my wackiness. She was clever and quick witted. And now I realize all she meant to me... You see I never told her how I felt. But I think she knew exactly how I felt. I always laughed when she said her friends thought we were a couple. But I think she knew I wanted to be in a relationship with her. I bought her nostalgic gifts so it could take the place of what I really wanted to say; "I listen every time you speak". If only I had the courage to say it I wouldn't be in this mess to begin with. We talked everyday. And I mean.. EVERYDAY about everything. All the time. We'd chat, we'd text, we'd talk, we'd hang out. I mean I just loved everything she had to say, and I think she felt the same. I THOUGHT she felt the same. She used to shamelessly flirt with me, I mean she made it rather obvious-- naturally oblivious people could pick us out of a crowd and clearly state that "something was going on" between us. And tonight, like a 2 ton brick to the face... I found out she started seeing someone. A close friend of mine, I had no clue. I had no clue they were that close, no one said a thing to me. It was like someone punched me in head. How could I not notice that she wasn't interested in me when it felt SO obvious that she WAS. Maybe she did, but now not at all? Nothing?.. I used to thrust myself upon her every word... I was so invested in her. And now..what for? I find out..WHAT FOR? I suppose it was because I "thought" maybe "she knew how I felt"... apparently I assumed -- which made me look like a fool in the end. So, if anyone, who's to blame? Was a led on? Or did I lead someone on until she wasn't interested anymore? Am I a game player because I like the game, the banter, the chase? Or do I lie to myself, because I'm scared of making the first move and being reject? Feeling that feeling of "rejected"...like I'm feeling right now... There's nothing in the world that blows into your ego harder and brings you more shame than you know what to do with.
Perhaps Posted March 20, 2010 Posted March 20, 2010 I'm sure if she had half a brain cell, she added 2 and 2 together and maybe see a possibility of you and her together but from what you say, I think it was a lead-on.. 95% intentional. 1. If you want to, explain to her how you felt and tell her thank you for everything. 2. Go NC. I really don't know what to say.. I'm in turmoil myself... but I thought a reply would let you know you're not alone.
D-Lish Posted March 20, 2010 Posted March 20, 2010 In all that time, if you didn't make a move- it's possible she wasn't truly aware about how you felt. Most women can have a close friendship with a male and not think twice about it- men don't seem to be able to do this as easily. If you didn't make a move early on- she probably put you in the friend-zone. Sometimes we think our feelings are obvious because we feel them so strongly- but that isn't always the case.
kyta Posted March 20, 2010 Posted March 20, 2010 I was in exactly the same situation 2 years ago, we had a one night blip but stayed friends after for another 8 months, talk everyday see each other every day, go out together every day, then she was with some one else, it didnt bother me to much as my feelings for her were more friendship than anything else, but i did have the odd day where i wished it was me with her, but we still did the same everyday, her bf didnt like me much, said we were to close, then bang she dumped him, he just used her, then 3 months she was back with her ex, we were still friends as strong as ever, then one night she sent me a flirty tx message, as we allways did, but i ended up phoning her, we had a very very 2 and a half hour dirty phone call, nxt day bam we were together, and what a ride, things change, you never know when or how, but sometimes, something just happens, if you 2 were meant to b, then it will b, if not then hold on to the friendship, sometimes the friendship is better than what happens when the relationship ends, you end up losing both, yes we are still sort of friends now, but im hangging on to make things work out, and shes feeding me breadcrumbs. Best of luck to you.
Author Dadubwa Posted March 20, 2010 Author Posted March 20, 2010 It's terrible, this feels more like a break up than anything. Which makes me feel like a total goon because I never buckled into letting anyone know I liked her, except my brother. I know it's only day 1 and it'll all get easier...but this whole thing feels like a life sentence of regret and disappointment. I went to bed with knots in my stomach and had trouble falling asleep...after which, I had lucid nightmares. . I wish I wasn't such a coward, because I'd tell her exactly how I feel. What's left to lose? A friendship? That's what we "had" before...but now it feels different. I'm now officially stuck in the friend-zone *sigh*.
Perhaps Posted March 21, 2010 Posted March 21, 2010 Honestly? I say man up: Tell her. Think of it this way: since you think it's a lost cause, why Not.
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