bananaboat11 Posted March 20, 2010 Posted March 20, 2010 (edited) It took me 5+ months to realize... love is real and fear is just a dream. The fear of the what if's... the fear of moving on... never finding someone new... ...I was heartbroken by a manipulative, broken, immature, insecure, rebounding girl.... who used me... a girl whom I realized was using me.. I saw the red flags, but did not recognize them. Since her... I thought I was no good for anyone... not even for myself. ....5+ months later... every thought, word, and action in that relationship is meaningless to me now. No more suffering.. only healing. I am now seeing a few women... and another ex and me have reconciled in these last 4 months... just before my recent ex and I broke up... and we're falling in love with eachother. The breakup was complicated, but good. There is so much out there for all of us... you just have to open your eyes... remove these chains wrapped around your heart... and find that forgiveness is gold. ...there was a point post-break up that I would let myself down and beat myself up... Now.. I have a date with a beautiful girl tomorrow night... or tonight (sat night) rather.. and one with another beautiful girl Sunday night... plus I'm seeing another girl from Florida who traveled all the way up to me to meet me.... in addition to my ex girl... and the barista girl I have spoken about in other threads wants to go out yet she's seeing someone. ...I'm like.. floored I have women wanting to go out with me again... And you know what?! As confident as I am that I will NEVER speak to Nicole (the bitch who used me for sex and nothing more...)... as confident as I am she will NEVER contact me ever again... I know she will. I know it makes no sense and I shouldn't care... and I am not obsessing over it again, but I expect it. Any normal human being.. man or woman... who shared SOME sort of connection with another rational human being on a physical... metaphysical... surreal... emotional... level... no one can just push anyone out. It just isn't that easy. As much as Nicole was a bitch to me and pushed me away... etc, etc... the same way your dumper did these nasty things to you.. you will forever be with them. Know this. One day... they may try to contact you... only realize that paradise is the state of mind that allows you to detach... make the choice to press forward. Love is all and nothing else is what it seems. The moment you can see this... is the moment you will live a healthy life again and increase your chances to meet someone better... It's a simple thought that can lead to greater suffering or healing... but I promise you... love is real. I never thought I'd be in love... and I know I always said I loved a woman before, but after a whole year of NC with an ex... and then having these last 4-5 months... and both getting out of a relationship... we refuse to have anything now as we're both hurt... She dumped him... I was dumped by a stupid girl... we're taking it slow... we love eachother. =) Yet... we're both open to new people... and I told her, if she meets a man better than me for her... I will 100% support her decision and hope I can still be in her life... and she said the same about me... in 3 weeks time (she lives 3 hours away from me at college)... i'm going to spend a weekend with her... I am going to ask her to be my girlfriend again... the cool part is. I 100% trust her. And she trusts me. I don't know.. having our awesome past ... and the connection that was never lost.... even when I was with my ex, nicole... my ex E (we'll call her)... was SCARED to lose me (and she was seeing someone at the time)... (I was the dumper) and I was scared to lose E... even after 7 months of NC. I don't think I've ever been happier. Dumpee... you have your whole world ahead of you. Take it! Edited March 20, 2010 by bananaboat11
just1guy Posted March 20, 2010 Posted March 20, 2010 I just wanna say that your post gives us (or at least me), the light at the end of this tunnel I'm in. I know this misery will pass, and I can feel it slowly going away. Great to see that things are looking positive for you.
Author bananaboat11 Posted March 20, 2010 Author Posted March 20, 2010 I just wanna say that your post gives us (or at least me), the light at the end of this tunnel I'm in. I know this misery will pass, and I can feel it slowly going away. Great to see that things are looking positive for you. Read some of my older confidence booster threads... I truly believe in the words I speak. I give better advice than I adhere to of my own accord and will... heh. Thanks man, your words truly touch my heart and I feel for you. It does get better. I promise.
USMCHokie Posted March 20, 2010 Posted March 20, 2010 This is good to hear, Rob...it sometimes does take time to realize that things get better...and sometimes it takes even more time for things to actually get better...but like you said, good things will happen... Good luck with E...and I will repeat again, you'd better not make me third wheel to you and her if/when we go to NYC...
HeavenOrHell Posted March 20, 2010 Posted March 20, 2010 Good post Rob! So happy for you I also have feelings for someone else, don't know what will happen, but at least I feel I have moved on and CAN have feelings for someone else when I thought I couldn't. NC works wonders
Author bananaboat11 Posted March 20, 2010 Author Posted March 20, 2010 This is good to hear, Rob...it sometimes does take time to realize that things get better...and sometimes it takes even more time for things to actually get better...but like you said, good things will happen... Good luck with E...and I will repeat again, you'd better not make me third wheel to you and her if/when we go to NYC... Thanks KC... I never thought it'd get any better, but WOW. I never expected so many women to 'want me'... it's kind of nice. As the great morphius said... 'Death can come at any time... at any place..' no way i'm going to die before I can love again. And don't worry... I'm more terrified of all the women all over me will jump to you Good post Rob! So happy for you I also have feelings for someone else, don't know what will happen, but at least I feel I have moved on and CAN have feelings for someone else when I thought I couldn't. NC works wonders Thanks HOH! How are you fairing these days? I remember we were both in the same place.... I'm glad you're moving on and loving again!! It's such a great feeling. I did forget... NC (NO CONTACT) is incredible!!!!
Recommended Posts