Author marsle85 Posted March 21, 2010 Author Posted March 21, 2010 Update: I brought up Swan Lake, but he's pretty stuck on cooking for me... I figured I could let this one slide and head over there... I just have to be careful with how things unravel. I'm kind of bummed - I did want to go. I guess i'll have to save my dress for another time. And to my chagrin, he did mention a movie, like another poster warned. Oh boy. So- what are the ground rules?
phineas Posted March 21, 2010 Posted March 21, 2010 Update: I brought up Swan Lake, but he's pretty stuck on cooking for me... I figured I could let this one slide and head over there... I just have to be careful with how things unravel. I'm kind of bummed - I did want to go. I guess i'll have to save my dress for another time. And to my chagrin, he did mention a movie, like another poster warned. Oh boy. So- what are the ground rules? I asked about the movie. Movie almost universally means your getting laid if your a guy & a woman suggests it. If a guy suggests it, it means he's looking to get you on the couch (or his bed if he has roommates) alone so he can attempt to put the moves on ya. your done. LOL! I'll bet the movie is in his room because he has roommates.
A O Posted March 21, 2010 Posted March 21, 2010 Of course we do but there is such a huge double standard. If a woman acts like a guy and just goes randomly banging whomever she was attracted to, she would be called a slut and no guy would take her seriously. There is no double standard here, its one of life's biggest myths! Simply put, women are forever on-guard (judgmental) towards men who put sex at the top of their to-do list or appear to want only one thing (sex) from women. Most women judge this behavior in a negative manner, yet when they exert the same behavior they expect men to suspend their judgment! How non-nonsensical is that. Take a look in the mirror people! Again, there is absolutely no double standard here, just a failure of society at large to examine female behavior in the same manner that they do men. .
sagetalk Posted March 21, 2010 Posted March 21, 2010 Secondly, if his roommates are there- what's a good entrance? What are solid conversation topics? Thank you for complementing men, but it isn't necessary. If you dress in a hot outfit, or heck, even a moderately hot outfit, and are attractive, what you say is a moot point. Just don't talk about girly stuff and you're fine. Odds are, you'll win/lose them at first glance. But if you are hung up on talking about something, go to ESPN.com and read the headlines there, and you should be good to go.
sagetalk Posted March 21, 2010 Posted March 21, 2010 Women want sex just as much as men. It isn't a reward. I'm guessing you've been hurt in the past Sarah. Treat it like a reward and you will see men pass you up. Sex just isn't that big of a deal these days. Lets be honest. Waiting a few dates ok I can understand. But women that think that holding out longer make it that much more special paleeeease. Also to say sex is so emotional for women and only physical for a man is a joke. Do you have a serious emotional connection with your vibrator? If you ain't giving it to the guy he will go somewhere where he can get it. There's no point to put sex up on some pedestal. If you desire to be wise, do not follow this advice. Epic fail . I suppose your desire is to create a world of whores with posts like that.
sagetalk Posted March 21, 2010 Posted March 21, 2010 Do you know why? Because a man has the capability (unlike a vibrator) to be insightful, analytical, sensual and loving... and deserves more than just my physical self. Yes he does, and you deserve a man that will wait until both of you are ready to go to that level of intimacy. If he will not wait, then he does not love you, he lusts you.
alphamale Posted March 21, 2010 Posted March 21, 2010 So- what are the ground rules? just chillax and have a good time
Rearden Metal Posted March 21, 2010 Posted March 21, 2010 Haha, the day he takes me on a picnic is the day i'll sleep with him. It's hard to tell- but my gut? My gut tells me he's legit. He's white bread. Nice. Guy. Maybe Multi-grain. White bread with a twist. I trust him. If he were to make an advancement I was uncomfortable with, I don't see the situation going unfavorably... but I also care about his feelings. I don't want to unnecessarily tease him. I don't want him to get the wrong impression and be disappointed. I don't want him to resent me. And while these assumptions are on his plate, i'm responsible for the image and actions I employ. Right? I'm alllll about the anticipation! God I hope I can find a gal who cares THIS much about my feelings.
Author marsle85 Posted March 22, 2010 Author Posted March 22, 2010 If a guy suggests it, it means he's looking to get you on the couch (or his bed if he has roommates) alone so he can attempt to put the moves on ya. your done. LOL! Haha...no! I'm a goner! Alright. Well shoot.
Mary3 Posted March 22, 2010 Posted March 22, 2010 I think you are overthinking this. He wants to prepare you a nice dinner. It is likely he is a nice cook. All cooks love to cook for people they care about. Booty Call does NOT happen unless you let it. You are in charge of your own body. I don't think this is about booty call as much as I think its about him wanting an intimate evening ( the type of intimacy I am referring to is not sexual ) where you and him can eat dinner , watch a move and snuggle. Of course he is sexually attracted to you. Of course one day he would love to make love to you. BUT HE WILL WAIT . Please know that. If he won't wait then let him go. He's ready when you are ready
Author marsle85 Posted March 22, 2010 Author Posted March 22, 2010 I think you are overthinking this. He wants to prepare you a nice dinner. It is likely he is a nice cook. All cooks love to cook for people they care about. Booty Call does NOT happen unless you let it. You are in charge of your own body. I don't think this is about booty call as much as I think its about him wanting an intimate evening ( the type of intimacy I am referring to is not sexual ) where you and him can eat dinner , watch a move and snuggle. Of course he is sexually attracted to you. Of course one day he would love to make love to you. BUT HE WILL WAIT . Please know that. If he won't wait then let him go. He's ready when you are ready Well that was very nice. I am overthinking it. Thanks so much Mary. What a sweetheart you are.
alphamale Posted March 22, 2010 Posted March 22, 2010 Well that was very nice. I am overthinking it. Thanks so much Mary. What a sweetheart you are. yes Mary3 is very nice and knows what shes talking about
Author marsle85 Posted March 22, 2010 Author Posted March 22, 2010 yes Mary3 is very nice and knows what shes talking about Haha, ass.
Pfiend101 Posted March 22, 2010 Posted March 22, 2010 If you desire to be wise, do not follow this advice. Epic fail . I suppose your desire is to create a world of whores with posts like that. A women who has sex at around 3 dates isn't a whore to me. Neither is one who has sex on the first or second. If two people are attracted to each other whats the big deal? Just use a condom. Much longer than that and I think your a gold digger. My opinion is my opinion. If it offends you that's your problem.
Tnerforireyeh Posted March 22, 2010 Posted March 22, 2010 I'm gonna laugh if he dumps her and gets with a girl who'll actually put out. Dating is a two-way street. If both parties don't want sex until date 800, then that's fine, but if one wants it and the other doesn't, that relationship is doomed.
speechiekeen Posted March 22, 2010 Posted March 22, 2010 I think you are overthinking this. He wants to prepare you a nice dinner. It is likely he is a nice cook. All cooks love to cook for people they care about. Booty Call does NOT happen unless you let it. You are in charge of your own body. He's ready when you are ready We (females) have ALL the power! We have the power to say yes, to say no, to say stop and to say go...Isn't it GREAT! Mary is correct, let him make you dinner, enjoy an after dinner kiss, then say goodnight, thank him for the wonderful meal and walk out. Be decisive in your choices and he wont try to persuade you to do something that you are not ready for. You also asked for advice about what to do/talk about. Take a bottle of wine or a desert. Do not show up empty handed. Also, ask to help cook, set the table and clean up after dinner...(I am sure I do not have to tell a female this) it helps with the awkwardness of just sitting there wondering what to say.
Pfiend101 Posted March 22, 2010 Posted March 22, 2010 I would also say if your not attracted enough to someone by the 3rd or 4th date to have sex with them, its time to move on. You will know if the chemistry and attraction is there by that time. If not ask yourself what your intentions are with this guy. Free dinner? Free drinks? Company because your lonely while your waiting for someone you will have sex with?
Tnerforireyeh Posted March 22, 2010 Posted March 22, 2010 We (females) have ALL the power! We have the power to say yes, to say no, to say stop and to say go...Isn't it GREAT! And the power to delude yourself which you use with great frequency!
speechiekeen Posted March 22, 2010 Posted March 22, 2010 Exactly...and the power to piss them off with our power...I love being a girl. I think you are overthinking this. He wants to prepare you a nice dinner. It is likely he is a nice cook. All cooks love to cook for people they care about. Booty Call does NOT happen unless you let it. You are in charge of your own body. I don't think this is about booty call as much as I think its about him wanting an intimate evening ( the type of intimacy I am referring to is not sexual ) where you and him can eat dinner , watch a move and snuggle. Of course he is sexually attracted to you. Of course one day he would love to make love to you. BUT HE WILL WAIT . Please know that. If he won't wait then let him go. He's ready when you are ready And the power to delude yourself which you use with great frequency!
Author marsle85 Posted March 22, 2010 Author Posted March 22, 2010 I would also say if your not attracted enough to someone by the 3rd or 4th date to have sex with them, its time to move on. You will know if the chemistry and attraction is there by that time. If not ask yourself what your intentions are with this guy. Free dinner? Free drinks? Company because your lonely while your waiting for someone you will have sex with? I am verryyyy attracted to him. I don't mean to sound like a snob, but really- guys don't usually get a 3rd date with me. And i'm not saying that to make myself sound cool, etc. I'm just not impressed most of the time. So to answer your question- it's not typical for me to hang out with guys I just want free dinner/drinks with. I like him. In this situation- I feel out of my league (which NEVER happens to me) so it's refreshing, and it's a challenge. And you're right, by this time- you know what chemistry/attraction is there... and I know there is chemistry. I feel it, I love it, but I like him enough to want him longer than one night. I want to know he'll stick around. I don't want to get hurt, and i'm not afraid to say it. let him make you dinner, enjoy an after dinner kiss, then say goodnight, thank him for the wonderful meal and walk out. Be decisive in your choices and he wont try to persuade you to do something that you are not ready for. You also asked for advice about what to do/talk about. Take a bottle of wine or a desert. Do not show up empty handed. Also, ask to help cook, set the table and clean up after dinner...(I am sure I do not have to tell a female this) it helps with the awkwardness of just sitting there wondering what to say. Haha, it's funny you said all of the above. I was planning to bring dessert- and helping to clean up. I wasn't planning on just giving a goodnight kiss though, haha. I don't have a problem hooking up for a while, I'm just not going to stay over there or do anything more than I'm ready for.
ConflictedGuy27 Posted March 22, 2010 Posted March 22, 2010 I am verryyyy attracted to him. I don't mean to sound like a snob, but really- guys don't usually get a 3rd date with me. And i'm not saying that to make myself sound cool, etc. I'm just not impressed most of the time. So to answer your question- it's not typical for me to hang out with guys I just want free dinner/drinks with. I like him. In this situation- I feel out of my league (which NEVER happens to me) so it's refreshing, and it's a challenge. And you're right, by this time- you know what chemistry/attraction is there... and I know there is chemistry. I feel it, I love it, but I like him enough to want him longer than one night. I want to know he'll stick around. I don't want to get hurt, and i'm not afraid to say it. Haha, it's funny you said all of the above. I was planning to bring dessert- and helping to clean up. I wasn't planning on just giving a goodnight kiss though, haha. I don't have a problem hooking up for a while, I'm just not going to stay over there or do anything more than I'm ready for. After following your thread I beleive you're over reacting/over thinking this. I'm a guy that loves to cook, and bringing people into that environment and having them enjoy what I prepare is fun and rewarding. You're very concerned about the sex thing, but you're the one in control in that regard. Take things as far as you're comfortable taking thins, and if things are headed too far, that's when u say "I'm having a great time, but not ready to do X, yet." If the dude freaks out, you shouldn't see him anymore in my opinion. I've always let the women I've been with set the speed of when we get to sex. When I like the woman and am really connecting, it's worth the wait. Screw the 3 date rule - you do what you feel is right and what you're comfortable with.
mrt336 Posted March 22, 2010 Posted March 22, 2010 I'm gonna laugh if he dumps her and gets with a girl who'll actually put out. Dating is a two-way street. If both parties don't want sex until date 800, then that's fine, but if one wants it and the other doesn't, that relationship is doomed. If a person is dating to obtain sex, then yes they won't wait on someone to give it up, they'll just find another person to date. If a person is dating for companionship and sex that means something, they'll wait because the other person is worth it. You know, hookers can be had pretty cheap, you should look into them.
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