Confused_Chump Posted March 19, 2010 Posted March 19, 2010 I am stuck at a point right now where I feel my ex was the greatest woman I’ve ever met. She was beautiful, understanding, caring, etc. (I can go on forever describing how amazing of a person she was). We broke up on good terms after a 5+ year relationship and there is absolutely no bitterness between us. She has moved on where as I have accepted we can no longer be together as a couple, but am still trying to withdraw my emotional attachment to her. Now my question is, not to be rude or disrespectful to her, what is the best way to “knock her off the pedestal”? I deeply care for her and feel that she is indeed a wonderful person, but I know I can’t keep feeling this way for her or else my emotional attachment will just remain even if I do NC. I know that those whom had bad break ups sometimes use anger and bitterness as a means to remove an ex from the pedestal, but I don’t have that option. I also hear dating others would be a good start as well since you’ll get to try something fresh and it might be surprising how the experience may be better than the last. Any advice would be greatly appreciated!
mickleb Posted March 19, 2010 Posted March 19, 2010 Get 'The Journey From Heartbreak To Connection' by Susan Anderson. It will help your brain to heal your heart. x
Template Posted March 19, 2010 Posted March 19, 2010 It's really up to you to decide how you want to bump her off. However, until you do, you'll always be comparing your future mates to her, and that's really not fair, to them, and ultimately, to you. Maybe it helps if you think of her not as the "greatest" but as someone pleasantly different.
Author Confused_Chump Posted March 21, 2010 Author Posted March 21, 2010 Get 'The Journey From Heartbreak To Connection' by Susan Anderson. It will help your brain to heal your heart. x Looks like the book is out of print =(. Do you have any other good recommendations mickleb? I really find books to be a helpful medium when it comes to getting past a relationship. It's really up to you to decide how you want to bump her off. However, until you do, you'll always be comparing your future mates to her, and that's really not fair, to them, and ultimately, to you. Maybe it helps if you think of her not as the "greatest" but as someone pleasantly different. I've come to realize that it would be unfair to my future mates. It doesn't help that she was also my first love. It's hard to wrap my head around the idea that there can be better out there when the first set the bar so high. I understand the concept of it but to actually let go of the past and move forward believing that there is better can be so difficult.
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