Jump to content

A positive message for anyone going through a breakup.


While the thread author can add an update and reopen discussion, this thread was last posted in over a month ago. Want to continue the conversation? Feel free to start a new thread instead!

Recommended Posts

Posted

Hello,

 

I have been an avid reader of the forum for the past few weeks. I mutually broke up with my girlfriend about 3 months ago, and have been in NC for about a month. What has been really helpful has been those on this forum, and many of the legendary posters who have helped me rationalize my feelings with their advice to others.

 

I write this today because I wanted to give something back to the forum. It’s nice to know that in this self obsessed world there are still people giving their time to help and listen to you. Thank you.

 

What I have learned these past few months is that you have to keep on picking yourself up no matter what you are going through. It makes you stronger. Even if it’s just to clean out a drawer or get out and go for a walk. Make a start. Make a start now, because you want to be in the best state physically and mentally for the next romance you encounter. I can assure you that you WILL meet other people. It’s just the way it is. So get excited about the mystery of that and stop the fretting!

 

Initially after my breakup I was devastated, because of that gaping void in my life. I was depressed, angry, and upset. I didn’t know where to turn, so I needed a plan. A plan for me, not for anyone else, for me, and me alone.

 

After a few weeks I realized that I had to (Even though I didn’t want to) get out there and start creating a new life. I started running, weight training, going out with Friends, (even though I was miserable). I developed a vision board with phrases and pictures of what I would like to see manifest in my life. These are all positive things that I see when I get out of bed. I also try to be thankful for everything I have in life, because things could be far, far worse.

 

Now I don’t pretend to know what you are going through, and I am by no means healed, but I do know that you CAN deal with it. You just have to give a little energy to your situation. It’s about getting some self respect back, and your power. Remember who you are, because I can guarantee it’s not the depressed person you see in the mirror today.

 

When all this began for me about three months ago. I started watching movies etc. I couldn’t get out of bed I was so down. I started to watch ‘Band of Brothers’ which is about the 101sts exploits during World War II. That got me thinking about all those young men (some who lied about their age) Who landed in Normandy on D-Day and who didn’t even get a shot at this thing we call ‘life.’ Most of them were cut down quickly by enemy machine gun-fire seconds after they landed, and most would not have even experienced relationships let alone true love. I think about that often..

 

 

 

It’s not so bad this life..:)

Posted

Thanks supersub. Definitely a positive outlook on a grim situation for anyone.

The grass isn't always greener when you're in a 'state of mind', but for the end of one relationship brings on a new beginning... it's up to you, the dumpee to make the choice to leave the past that's better left unknown... behind.

 

It took me 5+ months to realize... love is real and fear is just a dream. The fear of the what if's... the fear of moving on... never finding someone new...

 

...I was heartbroken by a manipulative, broken, immature, insecure, rebounding girl....

 

....5+ months later... every thought, word, and action in that relationship is meaningless to me now. No more suffering.. only healing.

 

I am now seeing a few women... and another ex and me have reconciled in these last 4 months... just before my recent ex and I broke up... and we're falling in love with eachother. The breakup was complicated, but good.

 

There is so much out there for all of us... you just have to open your eyes... remove these chains wrapped around your heart... and find that forgiveness is gold.

 

...there was a point post-break up that I would let myself down and beat myself up... :o

 

Now.. I have a date with a beautiful girl tomorrow night... or tonight (sat night) rather.. and one with another beautiful girl Sunday night... plus I'm seeing another girl from Florida who traveled all the way up to me to meet me.... in addition to my ex girl... and the barista girl I have spoken about in other threads wants to go out yet she's seeing someone.

 

...I'm like.. floored I have women wanting to go out with me again... :love:

Posted

Thanks for your post, it lifted my spirits :)

Posted
Thanks supersub. Definitely a positive outlook on a grim situation for anyone.

The grass isn't always greener when you're in a 'state of mind', but for the end of one relationship brings on a new beginning... it's up to you, the dumpee to make the choice to leave the past that's better left unknown... behind.

 

It took me 5+ months to realize... love is real and fear is just a dream. The fear of the what if's... the fear of moving on... never finding someone new...

 

...I was heartbroken by a manipulative, broken, immature, insecure, rebounding girl....

 

....5+ months later... every thought, word, and action in that relationship is meaningless to me now. No more suffering.. only healing.

 

I am now seeing a few women... and another ex and me have reconciled in these last 4 months... just before my recent ex and I broke up... and we're falling in love with eachother. The breakup was complicated, but good.

 

There is so much out there for all of us... you just have to open your eyes... remove these chains wrapped around your heart... and find that forgiveness is gold.

 

...there was a point post-break up that I would let myself down and beat myself up... :o

 

Now.. I have a date with a beautiful girl tomorrow night... or tonight (sat night) rather.. and one with another beautiful girl Sunday night... plus I'm seeing another girl from Florida who traveled all the way up to me to meet me.... in addition to my ex girl... and the barista girl I have spoken about in other threads wants to go out yet she's seeing someone.

 

...I'm like.. floored I have women wanting to go out with me again... :love:

 

 

 

That is awesome how things are turning good for you man. I'm hoping that I can finally get over my breakup and to where you are. I've been hanging out with friends, but haven't dated yet. Ugh, 3 months and still sometimes I feel miserable, but reading your story gives me hope that this will all pass soon.

Posted
That is awesome how things are turning good for you man. I'm hoping that I can finally get over my breakup and to where you are. I've been hanging out with friends, but haven't dated yet. Ugh, 3 months and still sometimes I feel miserable, but reading your story gives me hope that this will all pass soon.

 

 

Bless you brother. Took me at least 5 months... and my ex unblocking me on facebook and befriending my friends.. people she hated at one point for me to finally admit.. she misses me.. she is a prissy, arrogant little bitch who won't contact me b/c she's too proud, but will contact me b/c we had SOMETHING...

 

...and then it hit me. I'm awesome. The same way you're awesome, but it'll hit you soon enough.

 

And boom.. confidence comes back. Women read that. Women notice you. Women start talking to you 'differently'. Confidence is raised yet again. you ask out women. They say yes.

 

At first... 2 of 'em toy with you. You say **** it and move on.

 

a week later... when they don't hear from you... they start chasing the **** out of you.

 

2 weeks later... 2 dates lined up =)

 

Keep pressing forward brother... keep that void filled with POSITIVE influences... friends,family,hobbies,gym... etc...

 

It DOES get better. I am proof of that. I took a HUGE fall when my ex dumped me....

  • Author
Posted
Thanks supersub. Definitely a positive outlook on a grim situation for anyone.

The grass isn't always greener when you're in a 'state of mind', but for the end of one relationship brings on a new beginning... it's up to you, the dumpee to make the choice to leave the past that's better left unknown... behind.

 

It took me 5+ months to realize... love is real and fear is just a dream. The fear of the what if's... the fear of moving on... never finding someone new...

 

...I was heartbroken by a manipulative, broken, immature, insecure, rebounding girl....

 

....5+ months later... every thought, word, and action in that relationship is meaningless to me now. No more suffering.. only healing.

 

I am now seeing a few women... and another ex and me have reconciled in these last 4 months... just before my recent ex and I broke up... and we're falling in love with eachother. The breakup was complicated, but good.

 

There is so much out there for all of us... you just have to open your eyes... remove these chains wrapped around your heart... and find that forgiveness is gold.

 

...there was a point post-break up that I would let myself down and beat myself up... :o

 

Now.. I have a date with a beautiful girl tomorrow night... or tonight (sat night) rather.. and one with another beautiful girl Sunday night... plus I'm seeing another girl from Florida who traveled all the way up to me to meet me.... in addition to my ex girl... and the barista girl I have spoken about in other threads wants to go out yet she's seeing someone.

 

...I'm like.. floored I have women wanting to go out with me again... :love:

Hey mate, you are halfway back to Paradise then!? I was about to say sorry for your breakup (which I am btw) , but obviously you have plenty of irons in the fire. Ha ha!:p No seriously, thanks for commenting on my first post. I know all about the 'beating yourself up part' its almost a ritual for a while..

  • Author
Posted
Thanks for your post, it lifted my spirits :)

 

Thanks KBH. The crew here have given me major inspiration and insight which led me to want to write something and to give some.. "Love back to the erm.. Love shack."

 

Blimey, did I just Rhyme? Am I like Iced-T?:laugh:

Posted

Thank you guys for all the inspiring words and stories. I am definately feeling much better.

 

Even though sometimes I still my heart does not beat anymore, I feel so empty inside and seem to have heart attack, generally I am doing fine. I hang out, I make myself busy by sporting, getting more jobs etc.

 

I hope that things will be totally over in a few weeks.

 

Let's cheer up all the ****s have happened, it makes us stronger. It's a stepstone for something much better going happen.

 

I always believe that things happen for reasons in life and you need to feel the pain before you can value and appreciate happiness.

 

I am attractive and smart. I deserve much better. I thank God that truth was revealed before it would become so late.

  • Author
Posted
Thank you guys for all the inspiring words and stories. I am definately feeling much better.

 

Even though sometimes I still my heart does not beat anymore, I feel so empty inside and seem to have heart attack, generally I am doing fine. I hang out, I make myself busy by sporting, getting more jobs etc.

 

I hope that things will be totally over in a few weeks.

 

Let's cheer up all the ****s have happened, it makes us stronger. It's a stepstone for something much better going happen.

 

I always believe that things happen for reasons in life and you need to feel the pain before you can value and appreciate happiness.

 

I am attractive and smart. I deserve much better. I thank God that truth was revealed before it would become so late.

 

Fear and emptiness is a nasty trick. I know that I am getting through it because when the fear comes now it feels like it is misplaced, like it has no real meaning, like a parasite trying to find a host. Its almost like it is there for no reason. That's when you know that its starting to ease off. Your confidence starts to grow. I think that's where new activities help and also facing that fear of getting back on your feet and back in the game can help. Even though its seems like a mountain to climb at the time its worth your effort. I know there are still some hard days ahead for me, but if we all use our own light and character to guide ourselves. We will all come through. No doubt in my mind. :)

×
×
  • Create New...