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So I met her online, she brought me to her place, what are her expectations of me?

Wallace1

By Wallace1
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Wallace1 Established Member

Wallace1

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I'm basically trying to figure out where to go from here.

 

We meet up for our "first date" which was checking out a couple happy hours in our city, spend the evening doing that and having dinner, and ultimately I end up at her place which leads to sex.

 

Neither of us were impaired by any means after the happy hours. Afterward she's like, "OMG, I can't believe you're here, I thought there was ZERO chance of that when I left to meet you" etc. She texts me for a couple days asking if she's going to see me again, and basically laying it on pretty thick, and we meet for the 2nd time at my place for a movie/sex.

 

Initially, I figured she just liked to sleep around a bit, but at this point, I'm actually rather certain that the opposite is true, and she seems to be enamored with me after only 2 meetings.

 

Given that I'm not into being an a******, and I'm pretty certain I won't get into an LTR with her, at what point do I make it clear that it's not going to be anything more?

donnamaybe Established Member

donnamaybe

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Now. You say you do NOT want to be the type of person you so eloquently described (yes, I can read through the *'s :laugh:), so do NOT lead her on just so you can get laid like some of the other guys on here so obviously do.

amymarieca Established Member

amymarieca

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I would say on your next encounter with her, be it over the phone or in person, you need to make it very clear what your intentions are. If you just see this as a casual thing, you need to specify that you are just looking for something casual with her so that you don't hurt her feelings.

txsilkysmoothe Established Member

txsilkysmoothe

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NOW and if not now, before you have sex with her again.

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Wallace1 Established Member

Wallace1

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Loud and Clear.

 

This is why I'm not sure online dating is for me. They all seem to want me as their boyfriend right off the bat, while I'm still trying to figure out if I find their personality attractive.

mrkleen Established Member

mrkleen

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If that is the case Wallace....then STOP sleeping with them on the first date.

 

You cant have it both ways. Either you want to take it slow or you dont....but if you meet a somewhat needy girl and bed her the first time you meet - OF COURSE she is going to become clingy.

TouchedByViolet Established Member

TouchedByViolet

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I think everyone's advice is spot on.

 

You have sex with this girl the first time you meet her and you are "trying to figure out if" her personality is attractive. Sounds like you are not interested in a relationship.

Johnny M Established Member

Johnny M

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Neither of us were impaired by any means after the happy hours. Afterward she's like, "OMG, I can't believe you're here, I thought there was ZERO chance of that when I left to meet you" etc.

Don't feel too flattered - I bet she says the same thing to every guy she hooks up with :laugh:

 

Initially, I figured she just liked to sleep around a bit, but at this point, I'm actually rather certain that the opposite is true, and she seems to be enamored with me after only 2 meetings.

Again, don't be too flattered. I think your initial gut instinct was correct. She likes to sleep around a bit. Nothing wrong with that, provided it's safe. I don't think you need to tell her anything at this point. Go with the flow and have a good time. Wait for her to bring up the exclusivity talk, and when she does, explain that it's not something that you're looking for at the moment.

Edited by Johnny M
calizaggy Established Member

calizaggy

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As johnny said, I bet she does this quite a bit.. Just have some fun, don't worry about it.. Often times the ones that fall fast leave YOU before you can leave them.. A girl just doesn't start having sex on the first date overnight..

alphamale Established Member

alphamale

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Given that I'm not into being an a******, and I'm pretty certain I won't get into an LTR with her, at what point do I make it clear that it's not going to be anything more?

when she asks you. don't bring it up yourself

bac Established Member

bac

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How old is she? Perhaps she is fine with FWBs/NSA. So, if you still want to have sex with her, let her know that you prefer FWBs with her.

ADF Established Member

ADF

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At what point? The sooner the better. In fact, promise yourself not to have sex with her again until you've talked this out.

Pfiend101 Established Member

Pfiend101

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Dont bring it up. Just keep tappin that thing. Make sure to wear a rubber though. Livin the dream baby!

mrkleen Established Member

mrkleen

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Dont bring it up. Just keep tappin that thing. Make sure to wear a rubber though. Livin the dream baby!

 

This is a perfect example of a guy that THINKS he is a player because he is getting ass.

 

Thing you dont get is that true players dont need to play head games to get over - they lay it all out from the beginning - "I think you're hot, I dont want a relationship, but if you want to hang out and fool around from time to time - I am down"

 

If you are sleeping with a woman under false pretenses - pretending to like her, or leading her on - YOU ARE NOT A PLAYER - you are just a douchebag.

 

In defense of the OP...he seems to be a guy with a heart and conscience. Good for him.

calizaggy Established Member

calizaggy

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Thing you dont get is that true players dont need to play head games to get over - they lay it all out from the beginning - "I think you're hot, I dont want a relationship, but if you want to hang out and fool around from time to time - I am down"

 

 

Actually I always viewed players as being the best at laying on the BS to get in a girls pants..

 

This guy did nothing wrong.. Went on a date and had sex.. Date 2: Girl comes over for sex.. She would have to be an idiot to assume that after being that easy to get into bed it automatically means he loves her..

 

He did not tell her he loves her, wants to be with her forever,,(Typical player lines)

 

I have no sympathy for women like this who get hurt.. Why? They do this with many guys, and typically the quicker certain women fall for a guy, the quicker they also fall out of love with a guy.

Pfiend101 Established Member

Pfiend101

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Exactly Calizaggy. He isn't leading her on. If she wants to keep playing hide the salami with him it doesn't mean he should have to tell her what hes looking for. Obviously she wants sex. Keep giving it to her. Have fun.

Johnny M Established Member

Johnny M

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Thing you dont get is that true players dont need to play head games to get over - they lay it all out from the beginning - "I think you're hot, I dont want a relationship, but if you want to hang out and fool around from time to time - I am down"

Is this, like, a commandment in the Player Bible or something? Who decides what a "true player" does or does not do? The very term player implies propensity to play games. While your suggestion that there is some kind of "honor among players" is amusing, it falls short of reality.

mrkleen Established Member

mrkleen

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Is this, like, a commandment in the Player Bible or something? Who decides what a "true player" does or does not do? The very term player implies propensity to play games. While your suggestion that there is some kind of "honor among players" is amusing, it falls short of reality.

 

Not sure what is in the players bible...but I have never had to play games if all I wanted was a casual sexual relationship...I just told her up front and if she was down with that, it was on.

 

I never had to say I really like you - or I cant wait to see what the future brings - in order to get lucky. Maybe you are different.

Johnny M Established Member

Johnny M

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Not sure what is in the players bible...but I have never had to play games if all I wanted was a casual sexual relationship...I just told her up front and if she was down with that, it was on.

What does this have to do with being a player though?

SincereOnlineGuy Established Member

SincereOnlineGuy

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"The internet allows a woman to have sex with a man she feels she 'knows', while at the same time a man can have sex with a woman he just met"

 

 

 

Truer words were never spoken!

mrkleen Established Member

mrkleen

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What does this have to do with being a player though?

 

Guess my idea of what a player is - is someone that has multiple women that he messes around with, all of whom know where they stand.

 

Maybe you are right however, in saying that the very name player conveys the idea that it is cool to play games with people to get what you want.

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Wallace1 Established Member

Wallace1

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Guess my idea of what a player is - is someone that has multiple women that he messes around with, all of whom know where they stand.

 

Maybe you are right however, in saying that the very name player conveys the idea that it is cool to play games with people to get what you want.

 

I think one's definition would also depend on whether they viewed being a "player" with positive or negative connotation.....

 

All that aside, my original question was rooted more in the fact that we met me online, where ostensibly women would be hoping to find an LTR. However, I've considered it a bit, and realize this thinking was a fallacy to begin with.

stillafool Established Member

stillafool

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As johnny said, I bet she does this quite a bit.. Just have some fun, don't worry about it.. Often times the ones that fall fast leave YOU before you can leave them.. A girl just doesn't start having sex on the first date overnight..

 

 

I have to agree with this. But, you can go ahead and put it out there so she won't get any ideas about a relationship down the road.

donnamaybe Established Member

donnamaybe

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This is a perfect example of a guy that THINKS he is a player because he is getting ass.

 

Thing you dont get is that true players dont need to play head games to get over - they lay it all out from the beginning - "I think you're hot, I dont want a relationship, but if you want to hang out and fool around from time to time - I am down"

 

If you are sleeping with a woman under false pretenses - pretending to like her, or leading her on - YOU ARE NOT A PLAYER - you are just a douchebag.

 

In defense of the OP...he seems to be a guy with a heart and conscience. Good for him.

 

You got it right on here!

 

All these guys who are telling him to just keep screwing her are... I won't say. :sick: The OP already THINKS she's into him beyond just the sex, and he ALSO said he didn't WANT to be a douchebag. ;)

 

If this is true, he HAS to be honest with her. Omitting the truth is the same as lying.

donnamaybe Established Member

donnamaybe

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Not sure what is in the players bible...but I have never had to play games if all I wanted was a casual sexual relationship...I just told her up front and if she was down with that, it was on.

 

I never had to say I really like you - or I cant wait to see what the future brings - in order to get lucky. Maybe you are different.

 

Some guys have enough going for them to attract any kind of girl they want (just a good time, relationship, FWB - whatever) while others have to pretend or outright lie to get what they want. ;)

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