Ilovecake Posted March 19, 2010 Posted March 19, 2010 Sorry about the length of this post. I should probably post this somewhere else but since this and the breaking up forum is where I spend most of my time I will ask you guys for some guidance. Back story: I had a small affair (8 years ago) with a guy who was a good acquaintance. This was shortly after getting out of a 6 year relationship and I guess you can say he was one of my rebounds. He's originally from my town but moved across country a few years before we hooked up. He was in town for a month and it was understood by both parties that this was going to be a very casual thing and then he would go home. I let him stay with me and half way through the stay he told me he was living with someone back home. I swear to you this was the only time I have ever been with another woman's man and 8 years later I still get a horrible stomach ache when I think about that. I now make sure that there is nobody in a guy’s life before I hang out with them. But I regress. So he goes home after the month, calls me once a year later to tell me he’s going to be in town and no longer living with his girlfriend. I didn’t feel like seeing him so I turned down the offer to meet up. He tried to call me on and off a few times after that but I never picked up so we just drifted apart. Over the years mutual friends would run into him and always tell me how he’s asking about me. I thought nothing of this and would say ‘tell him hi’. A few months a go I got a friend request from him on Facebook, I figured old friend, haven’t spoken to him in years I’ll OK his request. Oh my God bad idea. This guy will not leave me alone now. He keeps telling me how I’m the one that got away and he’s sure I’m his soul mate and how he’s so deeply in love with me and has been searching high and low for me for years. I am a 100% not interested. I’m nice to him but very adamant about the fact that he in fact does not love me and has built up a fantasy in his head of who I was. I tell him he doesn’t even know me anymore and encourage him all the time to date which he refuses to do. He called me once and I picked up the phone. He had nothing interesting to say and I could not wait to get off the phone, he even tried to make dirty jokes…yuck. He’s a nice guy but not very intelligent. Anyways I get my weekly Facebook message from him, as usual begging me to call him. Now he’s telling me it’s his birthday is on Saturday and all he wants is a five minute phone call from me. I don’t know what to do. Being dumped and knowing how unrequited love sucks and hurts I don’t want to do that to him but I do not want to lead this guy on by making any calls nor do I want to talk to him. Like I said he’s really nice and I don’t want to hurt his feelings so I’ve just sort of left him as my Facebook friend but he makes all these inappropriate comments to me and just makes me feel uncomfortable by constantly trying to woo me. He will not take no for an answer. I’ve been both kind and brutally honest with him. I tell him that nothing will ever happen between us yet he still says things like 'I love you more than life. I’ve never known a woman as beautiful as you. I just want to spend the rest of my life making you happy.' Gives me the willies. So do I even say Happy Birthday to him via Facebook on Saturday? Do I ignore the fact that it’s his birthday and come off as the heartless biatch? Do I crush this guy completely by erasing him off my facebook? I don’t want to be the evil one but don’t know where to draw the line with this dude. What would you do knowing how much unrequited love hurts?
nobmagnet Posted March 19, 2010 Posted March 19, 2010 Gosh!! IMO if it were me i would just not respond. in any shape or form. He seems weird. Be careful my love. You said you have tried everything, your a nice girl....yes.....but.........HELLO???? Dont worry about him he seems weird and if you indulge him it mightl get worse. If he persised....its stalking. keep a record of everything he has said and i wouldnt go there at all. I dont do much facebook but there must be a way of dealing with this and getting help from them? ewwwwwwww Nobby xx
Author Ilovecake Posted March 19, 2010 Author Posted March 19, 2010 Gosh!! IMO if it were me i would just not respond. in any shape or form. He seems weird. Be careful my love. You said you have tried everything, your a nice girl....yes.....but.........HELLO???? Dont worry about him he seems weird and if you indulge him it mightl get worse. If he persised....its stalking. keep a record of everything he has said and i wouldnt go there at all. I dont do much facebook but there must be a way of dealing with this and getting help from them? ewwwwwwww Nobby xx Thanks. I don't get the dangerous vibe from him, weird, dumb and desperate yes. I actually feel extremely bad for him, I wish I knew someone I could introduce him to. I would say I ignore 99% of his messages and facebook posts and never pick up my phone when he calls, once was enough. The thing is he has no problem meeting girls, he’s kind of cute and is a rock and roll guy, he even works with famous people like Britney Spears. Women are all over him on his facebook. I keep saying “what about this girl or that girl that posted a heart on your facebook?” and he’s like “no she’s not you”. The inappropriate jokes he makes I think he thinks are funny and sexy. Like he told me once he owns a leopard print thong...aaaahhhh yuck. My response was don't ever tell a woman that, you'll be alone for the rest of your life. That's not sexy it's cheesy, unless you're a male stripper and that's still cheesy.
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