Engadget Posted March 19, 2010 Posted March 19, 2010 As if to say they were out of your league? (Kind of like the movie I guess). I've hung out with these two girls who are friends, through a good friend of mine. The girl that's gorgeous is extremely shy and funny enough going through a recent breakup like I am, and seems to be struggling with it much the same. So instead of being direct with her as I usually am I'm getting to know her friend, who's fun to hang out with but not quite my type, a little too wild and crazy. The girl I do like is great from a personality standpoint for what little I know, she's shy, into photography, has tattoos, into music...and is so drop dead gorgeous it actually does make me say "There's no way, she's too good looking". That's new for me, I normally wouldn't be intimidated by looks but in this case I am.
JamesM Posted March 19, 2010 Posted March 19, 2010 To answer your question first....yes. Back when I was in college (before they even used computers much...well, we did do some programming ) I will never forget when I sat next to this girl in a law class. She looked like a model to me (and I found out later she WAS a model....lingerie no less . Yes, I saw her in an ad. ) She was a gorgeous blond that I felt privileged to be in the same room as...let alone be talking with. Looking back sadly, I can say that if I had simply been myself as I was with other women, then I could have probably found a person who was really a possible friend. Trying to impress her only made me look like a bumbling fool. Lessons are learned...sometimes the hard way. So to answer your implied question....what would I do in your case.... Relax and simply think of her as another person. Ignore her looks and think of her as a possible friend. Don't try to score...simply try to be a friend. One thing I have learned is that many drop dead gorgeous people (men and women but mostly women) are actually somewhat lonely, because many people either try to get in bed with them or stay away from them because of their beauty. If you would simply be a friend, then you may be exactly what she is looking for. Leagues are created and mostly in our own minds.
ADF Posted March 19, 2010 Posted March 19, 2010 I think this sort of thing is more common than people realize. Men don't want to admit they are intimidated by some women's appearance because they have been oversold on this idea of "confidence." But it happens. I knew a woman years ago who was so heart-stoppingly beautiful, men would just stop and stare whenever she entered a room.
Author Engadget Posted March 19, 2010 Author Posted March 19, 2010 To answer your question first....yes. Back when I was in college (before they even used computers much...well, we did do some programming ) I will never forget when I sat next to this girl in a law class. She looked like a model to me (and I found out later she WAS a model....lingerie no less . Yes, I saw her in an ad. ) She was a gorgeous blond that I felt privileged to be in the same room as...let alone be talking with. Looking back sadly, I can say that if I had simply been myself as I was with other women, then I could have probably found a person who was really a possible friend. Trying to impress her only made me look like a bumbling fool. Lessons are learned...sometimes the hard way. So to answer your implied question....what would I do in your case.... Relax and simply think of her as another person. Ignore her looks and think of her as a possible friend. Don't try to score...simply try to be a friend. One thing I have learned is that many drop dead gorgeous people (men and women but mostly women) are actually somewhat lonely, because many people either try to get in bed with them or stay away from them because of their beauty. If you would simply be a friend, then you may be exactly what she is looking for. Leagues are created and mostly in our own minds. Yes I agree with what you would do, first I'm trying to be her friend's friend as she seems cool to hang out with, before even trying to be the gorgeous girl's friend. Like I said she's gone through a recent breakup and according to her profile isn't ready for anything, and neither am I. Got invited to their house party next month, as both of them are moving in together. So I will take it very slow, not going to jump at anything and potentially ruin things. She's probably the closest woman I've met thus far to my "dream girl", which a big statement seeing as I don't know her all that much yet.
JamesM Posted March 19, 2010 Posted March 19, 2010 I knew a woman years ago who was so heart-stoppingly beautiful, men would just stop and stare whenever she entered a room. So you knew my wife?
phineas Posted March 19, 2010 Posted March 19, 2010 Yes. When I was in college. These days looks just arn't enough to keep me interested. Too much gold plating instead of solid gold if you know what I mean. My STBXW is testament to that.
Jersey Shortie Posted March 19, 2010 Posted March 19, 2010 Totally. There is a guy at my gym I have this reaction to. I use to not even be able to walk by him with out getting shaky. I'd walk around to avoid him. I've at least worked up the nerve to be able to walk by him.
threebyfate Posted March 19, 2010 Posted March 19, 2010 I can honestly say that I haven't met anyone who's intimidated me, through looks. People are people, and as cliche as that sounds, it's true. When you first notice or meet someone, all you have to judge by are a combination of looks and body language. If that all pans out and you have the opportunity to talk to them, this is when personality comes into play. I remember meeting this guy at Starbuck's, a couple of years ago. He was exiting, while I was entering. He was unbelievably gorgeous! We locked eyes and had that spark thing going. We started chatting and within minutes, I realized he was dumber than a bag of hammers. Attraction went dead that second. I couldn't get out of there fast enough.
boogieboy Posted March 19, 2010 Posted March 19, 2010 No need to be intimidated. Make the wild girl like you...you probably arent her type either, but if you show her a good time, she might introduce you to her friend, and then youre in!
make me believe Posted March 19, 2010 Posted March 19, 2010 Yep! I was approached by a guy at a bar about a year and a half ago, but I was drunk and it was dark so I guess I didn't realize how good looking he was. We exchanged numbers and talked on the phone a few times, but then I started dating someone else. About 10 months ago I randomly contacted the guy from the bar and we met up. I almost fell down when I saw him, he was SOOOOOO incredibly gorgeous!!! Plus, he was a doctor. I was definitely intimidated at first. EVERY single time we went out, girls were throwing themselves at him. I mean, they would try to slip him their number right in front of me! It got super annoying after awhile. I got over being intimidated by his looks once I got to know him. After that it was more awe and I admit my head may have gotten a bit large having this supremely hot man fawning over me all the time. Unfortunately his personality kinda sucked, so we just remained FWB until I met my current bf and cut things off with him.
Green Posted March 19, 2010 Posted March 19, 2010 I've only ever dated girls who are the most attractive I've ever seen. When I first see them I get a flash of fear but then good old courage takes over. Seriously intimidation is my first sense that I really like a girl. The truth is man in my opinion this may be the first girl you actualy like more then a friend.
phineas Posted March 19, 2010 Posted March 19, 2010 I've only ever dated girls who are the most attractive I've ever seen. When I first see them I get a flash of fear but then good old courage takes over. Seriously intimidation is my first sense that I really like a girl. The truth is man in my opinion this may be the first girl you actualy like more then a friend. I think this is the case with me. Hot women don't intimidate me. Hot women i've gotten to know intimidate me.
JamesM Posted March 19, 2010 Posted March 19, 2010 I remember meeting this guy at Starbuck's, a couple of years ago. He was exiting, while I was entering. He was unbelievably gorgeous! We locked eyes and had that spark thing going. We started chatting and within minutes, I realized he was dumber than a bag of hammers. Attraction went dead that second. I couldn't get out of there fast enough. Perhaps HE was intimidated by YOUR beauty.
threebyfate Posted March 19, 2010 Posted March 19, 2010 Perhaps HE was intimidated by YOUR beauty. While this is very flattering, realistically speaking and with no false modesty, I'm not beautiful. Just above-average attractive.
JamesM Posted March 19, 2010 Posted March 19, 2010 While this is very flattering, realistically speaking and with no false modesty, I'm not beautiful. Just above-average attractive. And my response is....beauty is in the eye of the beholder. You have beautiful eyes and if the chemistry was flying, then he may have been trying too hard to catch you. I understand your original point. I have also met some beautiful women who when they opened their mouth showed me that this was only an outward beauty. Yet many times a woman with a quiet beauty opened her mouth and showed me how being with her would be a great privilege. Even today as I ate lunch with my wife, I had the same impression of her.
Author Engadget Posted March 19, 2010 Author Posted March 19, 2010 No need to be intimidated. Make the wild girl like you...you probably arent her type either, but if you show her a good time, she might introduce you to her friend, and then youre in! Pretty much but I already know the girl I'm more interested in.
Leia Posted March 19, 2010 Posted March 19, 2010 I'm intimidated by both my boyfriend's intelligence and looks!
GoodOnPaper Posted March 19, 2010 Posted March 19, 2010 The girl I do like is great from a personality standpoint for what little I know, she's shy, into photography, has tattoos, into music...and is so drop dead gorgeous it actually does make me say "There's no way, she's too good looking". Sounds like a good sign if you are at least starting to get to know her a little -- I bet you will be able to fight through the intimidation. For me, intimidation is a sign of something a little more than just being out of my league -- almost all women seem to be out of my league and I've gotten used to it. However, if I see a woman and can envision thousands of guys being drawn to her at the drop of a hat, I go to great lengths to avoid her. No big deal if it's just a matter of drop-dead gorgeous looks. However, I have met 2 women in my life -- through my profession -- that are incredibly magnetic to men through above-average attractiveness in combination with amazingly engaging personalities and genuine character. THAT is when the intimidation factor drives me crazy.
Author Engadget Posted March 19, 2010 Author Posted March 19, 2010 I've only ever dated girls who are the most attractive I've ever seen. When I first see them I get a flash of fear but then good old courage takes over. Seriously intimidation is my first sense that I really like a girl. The truth is man in my opinion this may be the first girl you actualy like more then a friend. What? No it sure isn't the first girl I like more than a friend
Green Posted March 19, 2010 Posted March 19, 2010 What? No it sure isn't the first girl I like more than a friend Well you certainly feel diferently about this girl. I would take the fact that she scares you as a good sign. Over come your fear and maybe she is a special one.
Vertex Posted March 19, 2010 Posted March 19, 2010 I am mainly intimidated by intelligence/talent, but I also find it extremely hot.
pyroguy Posted March 19, 2010 Posted March 19, 2010 Totally. There is a guy at my gym I have this reaction to. I use to not even be able to walk by him with out getting shaky. I'd walk around to avoid him. I've at least worked up the nerve to be able to walk by him. May I ask what part of NJ you are from?
Jersey Shortie Posted March 22, 2010 Posted March 22, 2010 Why pyroguy, you think your my nerve-racking gym guy?
carhill Posted March 22, 2010 Posted March 22, 2010 Sure, the lady who sold me dumpster service was so, well, impressive, that I fell out of my chair. Literally. That was over 20 years ago and I remember it like it was yesterday. Weird world.
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