Lucky555 Posted March 19, 2010 Posted March 19, 2010 I contacted the last guy i dated. who did me wrong. I couldn't believe what happened still since we have been friends for years!!! Its not like i can just feel like there is nothing because over the years my feelings developed. So when he did me wrong i wondered really how things with a friend could just go sour. (Any other guy i quit contact and this for me was much harder) What i found out was that he has a very negative view on relationships from a previous relationship. I didn't know how negative it was till last night. He does not think any relationship works out. (So why did he want to become exclusive with me?). I felt that i truly needed to ask him if he wanted to try dating again (i know stupid of me but he "was" a close friend) just to see if he really had been chasing me for these past few years because he really adored me or was it that he wanted to keep me around. Well it was not his adoration. What i got from him is that he wanted a casual relationship because of this and that in his life. I thought it was a crock of bs. As i probed more I ended up discovering he is fine with having fun and not becoming involved which is what he was doing when he was dating me. (How can people lie to others about what they want in relationships why would someone do that to another person!) I know some may say it was a waste of time and could have told me this but like i said its harder to not know and just dump a friend. (I am losing a friend because of this i dont feel like i can trust him anymore) I really think this guy has some underlying issues because of his view on relationships. I feel like he did try to deceive me and it sucks but I'm getting over it.
mrkleen Posted March 19, 2010 Posted March 19, 2010 Sounds like a manipulative loser that is just going to continue using you to stroke his sad, screwed up ego. Start walking and don’t look back, you deserve much better.
phineas Posted March 19, 2010 Posted March 19, 2010 It is puzzling because i've heard of this before. Girl is friends with guy for a while. They date. He turns out to be a POS. I have to ask, you say he adored you for a while. Did you know this? And if so why didn't you date him then? What made you decide to start dateing him? I'm gonna guess you thought he was a decent guy but wern't psyically attracted to him when you met him?
Author Lucky555 Posted March 19, 2010 Author Posted March 19, 2010 It is puzzling because i've heard of this before. Girl is friends with guy for a while. They date. He turns out to be a POS. I have to ask, you say he adored you for a while. Did you know this? And if so why didn't you date him then? What made you decide to start dateing him? I'm gonna guess you thought he was a decent guy but wern't psyically attracted to him when you met him? When i met him he was just getting over a 7 year break up. I didnt want to date him because i didnt want to be a rebound. I continued seeing other people and he and I would also talk and we became friends. I knew he was attracted to me and we started dating at one point but things didnt work because i had a lot of stuff going on in school, my program is accelerated so i have less time to spend in school now. Now three years later i figured this was enough time for him to get over his past relationship and i had time. he wanted to date and he even asked me how i felt about seeing him. I gladly said yes because we have got along so well over the past few years, we had discussed our values, beliefs, and what we believed about relationships. (So wow why not it seemed we believe the same. That was seeing one person at a time, developing a relationship, and it seemed really great. I thought this guy and I will make it because of how we have got to know each other over the years. )NOT TRUE NOW) I have always been physically attracted to him and he has been to me. Its the relationship part he seemed to deceive me about in how he wanted the same as me! I would never have stepped into this guys place without knowing what he actually wanted. And i find out now it was a sham! He tried to tell me he did want a relationship, we were exclusive, and if you read my past posts he we not that great of guy to me. Now after having that talk with him last night i found out it seems like he NEVER wanted a relationship and I was manipulated into believing it. I think it was his way of trying to get some action without becoming involved emotionally. I think because of his last break up he is traumatized, but it doesn't give him a reason to say he wanted a relationship and lie to me. I think he likes my company, talking with me, he likes attention, he wants action.....but he doesn't want to do anything to become emotionally involved, which would be having a relationship. I have some peace with this now, as you see i lost a friend i thought i had. So it was needed that i find out why things went wrong, i never cheated, i never did anything wrong, and I needed to find the honest truth as to what he was thinking. This helped me to determine that it was a lie and i dont understand why someone would do this. And the most outstanding part of this is what he told me about his view of relationships now and this is what he really thought all along. Even though HE PURSUED ME! I think he will continue doing this to other people he dates and that is sad.
Author Lucky555 Posted March 19, 2010 Author Posted March 19, 2010 Sounds like a manipulative loser that is just going to continue using you to stroke his sad, screwed up ego. Start walking and don’t look back, you deserve much better. yes indeed. I was friends with him first i thought I knew him. Obviously, he did a great job to manipulate. I do think he is so internally sad that he might use people to stroke his ego as you say.
Recommended Posts