geo105 Posted January 12, 2004 Posted January 12, 2004 I should give you some background info. I am 26 male from Maryland/USA and suffer from anxiety/panic disorder. In July I had a terrifying panic attack, paramedics were called and everything and I was fine. I was with my girl at the time and she was very supportive. The months after that I became more and more housebound, unable to drive the 45 minutes to see her due to the constant anxiety I felt. I told her I would get better it would just take time. It turns out from about September to December I was only able to drive out there 5 times, so she was making the majority of the effort. She became very frustrated with me because I was having such a hard time with it, she thought I just didn't want to see her, which wasn't the case. Anyway at the beginning of December I found out that she posted a profile on a dating site for intimate encounters, w/ a nude pic of herself. Needless to say I was pissed! Anyway she started talking to this guy Brian who apparently she met on there. We were still together and talked about everything and worked it out and I thought we had moved on. Our relationship was pretty normal sex wise, she bought me some incredibly expensive and nice Christmas gifts and also bought me a nice 1 yr anneversary gift on Jan 3rd. Lots of talk of marriage, kids, the main thing is we were in love or at least I thought we were. Heres where the trouble starts. Out of nowhere last week she breaks up with me and claims that she isn't ready for a serious relationship? Huh? I was lost on that, just days earlier we were talking about how in love we were and she told me she wanted me to buy her a ring. So I am totally at a loss. I find out that she started hanging out with this dude Brian everyday, telling people how hot he is and how wonderful he is, and completely ignoring me. We either talked to each other or were together everyday for a year and now she is basically ignoring me, except for the few 2 minute calls I get. We talk for a minute, she gets pissed, says shes tired and gets off the phone. Then there is the things she has said the few times we have talked. "I never really loved you" "I haven't felt strongly about you in a long time" just things that made no sence to me. Why would we make love? why would you spend a ton of money on me when you don't have much to begin with? why would you continuously beg me to stay the night? (we dont live together), why all the marriage talk? why did you tell me you loved me everyday? It just doesn't add up. So now she is very annoyed with me because I have comitted the cardinal sin of trying to contact her repeatedly to find out what the hell is going on because I am so confused to why she is acting like this. I know it was a mistake to keep calling, but it was killing me, I still can't sleep. Anyway she called me tonight and told me that Brian is going away to college until May but he told her that he wants to get serious with her when he gets back. She told me repeatedly since we broke up that she was very confused and didn't know what she wanted. So I figure I have from now until May to turn this thing around and get her back. I mean I know I didn't pay enough attention to her before and I certainly wasn't the best boyfriend in the world but I love her with all my heart and would do anything for her. What can I do to get my girl back? How could all of this happen? How are women able to just shut their feelings off and act like they don't care? Is this girl just selfish, bored? What could it be? I am at a loss. I am supposed to hookup with her after work tommorow and I am kind of shaky about how that will go. She was pissy on the phone tonight and slightly annoyed with me. We tend to get along better in person but I am still extremely nervous. All I know is that I want to do anything and everything within my power to get her back. Take better care of myself, get the 6 pack abs back, pay more attention to her and her needs, and be more supportive. Any advice on why this happened? What I can do to get her back? Do you really think she would say and do all of those things if she didn't love me?
look forward Posted January 12, 2004 Posted January 12, 2004 geo105 I think its very odd how she seemed to change over night if she was talking toy you about marriage one min then she is not ready for a relationship the next clearly the girl needs to sort her head out and decide what she really wants.. I understand that you feel you could have done more but at the end of the day you have a condition which she is aware of and there was nothing you could do about it.. so dont blame yourself she knew how you felt about her.. It may not be what you want to here but I would think the no contact rule is very necessary here.. Back off and tell her you need time to think.. this isn't about playing games I just think she really needs time in her head to sort her life out especially as she keeps chopping and changing her mood with you and if you carry on seeing her you dont want to be taken for the ride..
trulyme Posted January 12, 2004 Posted January 12, 2004 Geo says Back off???? ****, lose this girls number!!!!!!! Come on man, look at the eqaution you just gave us. Brian comes into her life and she is distant toward you FOR SOME ODD REASON and then tells you she is not ready for a relationship when you guys have already been in one for about a year. Then puts an ad on the internet looking for a date when you 2 are already together. This is a NO BRAINER. NEVER TALK TO HER AGAIN!!! Her intrest level in you is at about 10% right now. So she took care of you and bought you gifts. NEWS FLASH, there are a lot of women that will do that for you. Now go find another one and tell us about it when you get her!! Truly
Author geo105 Posted January 12, 2004 Author Posted January 12, 2004 I will do my best to take your advice and just back off, I figured thats what I needed to do, but it's tough. But I appreciate the honesty. Thanks.
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