counterman Posted March 19, 2010 Posted March 19, 2010 Okay, so tomorrow night my friend is celebrating her birthday with a dinner. I wouldn't say she's a close friend, but close to an extent. I met her last year and we've become friends from the start. I am undecided on whether to go or not. I'm usually indecisive with these things. Pro: I celebrate my friend's birthdayI meet new people and potential chicks that I could date Con: The birthday girl would probably be the only person I knowI have to travel a bit of a distance to get there and back and I have work the next day What do you guys think? Should I go or not?
Leia Posted March 19, 2010 Posted March 19, 2010 Attend the birthday dinner. Even if she's the only one you know there, I'm pretty sure she is able to introduce you to her other friends. As for traveling, how far is her place to yours? You don't have to stay too late.
Author counterman Posted March 19, 2010 Author Posted March 19, 2010 hey leia Oh, it's not at her place. It's at the city, near a harbour. I have to train it there and it takes about 40 minutes. She will definitely introduce me to her other friends and I am sure I will be able to get along with some of them. It is just if they all know each other then there will be conversations I won't be able to take part in. Also, who am I going to sit next to? I tend to over-think parties. Unless the friend is really really close, then I do hesitate. It's a bad habit of mine. Do you still think I should go? Looking back, with all the similar situations in the past, I will say that in each one of them I chose NOT to go to the party. I would regret maybe a little on the night but afterwards, it's no big deal.
Leia Posted March 19, 2010 Posted March 19, 2010 hey leia Oh, it's not at her place. It's at the city, near a harbour. I have to train it there and it takes about 40 minutes. She will definitely introduce me to her other friends and I am sure I will be able to get along with some of them. It is just if they all know each other then there will be conversations I won't be able to take part in. Also, who am I going to sit next to? I tend to over-think parties. Unless the friend is really really close, then I do hesitate. It's a bad habit of mine. Do you still think I should go? Looking back, with all the similar situations in the past, I will say that in each one of them I chose NOT to go to the party. I would regret maybe a little on the night but afterwards, it's no big deal. You're over-thinking about this! 40 minutes is quite a trip but you haven't gone to any party in a while and you should this time. It may not be a big deal but think about what you would miss out on by not going this time!
Author counterman Posted March 19, 2010 Author Posted March 19, 2010 You're over-thinking about this! 40 minutes is quite a trip but you haven't gone to any party in a while and you should this time. It may not be a big deal but think about what you would miss out on by not going this time! You're right - it's been a while since the last party I went to. I might miss out on a potential good time or I might feel uncomfortable for most of the night. However, I don't think it'll be such a blow if it didn't turn out great; I'll just leave earlier. I think you have me convinced to go. Does stop me from over-thinking though!
Leia Posted March 19, 2010 Posted March 19, 2010 Haha. Go for it, man. Tell us all about it after the party. I hope there will be some potential girls there Have fun, Liam
Author counterman Posted March 19, 2010 Author Posted March 19, 2010 I will definitely tell you about it - though, there probably won't be much in terms of any potential girls. LOL, trying not to expect too much. A good time is all I am after. I might buy the birthday girl some flowers and bring it to the dinner.
Leia Posted March 19, 2010 Posted March 19, 2010 I will definitely tell you about it - though, there probably won't be much in terms of any potential girls. LOL, trying not to expect too much. A good time is all I am after. I might buy the birthday girl some flowers and bring it to the dinner. Can't you pull the bracelet move on her? :laugh:
Author counterman Posted March 19, 2010 Author Posted March 19, 2010 Can't you pull the bracelet move on her? :laugh: :lmao: Yes! The bracelet move! Good thinking I wish I was better at subtlety with these things. Maybe the perfume move then?
Leia Posted March 19, 2010 Posted March 19, 2010 :lmao: Yes! The bracelet move! Good thinking I wish I was better at subtlety with these things. Maybe the perfume move then? Yes, the perfume move! How many of you guys will be at the party? Like you said, if it gets boring you can always leave early. Haha.
Author counterman Posted March 19, 2010 Author Posted March 19, 2010 Yes, the perfume move! How many of you guys will be at the party? Like you said, if it gets boring you can always leave early. Haha. First time I try that move, I'll let you know I have no idea how many people will be at the party. I'll assume that most of the people that are going to be there are going to be people I don't know. I mean, I've met heaps of new people at the one event before but I always had at least a friend then. This time it feels as though I am on my own. If it gets too uncomfortable, I'll head home. I do have work the next day anyways. I just thought of a scenario where she'll introduce me to all her girl friends. There's never been a situation before where I had to hold a conversation with multiple girls, who I have never met before. What should I do as an intro?! I'm over-thinking again!
DustySaltus Posted March 19, 2010 Posted March 19, 2010 When you live on "shutter island" I would assume going anywhere would be a tough commute.
Author counterman Posted March 20, 2010 Author Posted March 20, 2010 When you live on "shutter island" I would assume going anywhere would be a tough commute. Damn right:p I enjoyed that movie so much. I made up my mind and I'm going. Let's hope I have a good time!
marsle85 Posted March 20, 2010 Posted March 20, 2010 OMG. You gotta go! Regardless of WHAT the event is, WHO is there, or WHY it's happening-- don't even ask the question. Life never should be so scheduled and predictable. You never know, maybe WHAT you find and WHO you meet will ultimately tell you WHY you're glad you went! Always, always take a chance when you can. It's these little moments in life that you have to absolutely grab. Have fun!
D-Lish Posted March 20, 2010 Posted March 20, 2010 Don't approach it thinking you won't be included in conversations because you are new. Ask people questions about themselves- people like to talk to others that seem interested in what they have to say. When someone new comes around our group, A lot of us make an effort to get to know them and make them feel included.
Author counterman Posted March 20, 2010 Author Posted March 20, 2010 OMG. You gotta go! Regardless of WHAT the event is, WHO is there, or WHY it's happening-- don't even ask the question. Life never should be so scheduled and predictable. You never know, maybe WHAT you find and WHO you meet will ultimately tell you WHY you're glad you went! Always, always take a chance when you can. It's these little moments in life that you have to absolutely grab. Have fun! :)Yep! I'm definitely going! It does take me out of my comfort zone, as I have no wingman with me but I've always said no to these parties (it got to the point where some people stopped asking me after a little while). This time it's a yes and I love meeting new people. I like that advice in bold Don't approach it thinking you won't be included in conversations because you are new. Ask people questions about themselves- people like to talk to others that seem interested in what they have to say. When someone new comes around our group, A lot of us make an effort to get to know them and make them feel included. Definitely, I'll ask questions and I'll offer answers about myself too. I think that's the way to go. I've been in situations where I would meet someone who I think is really cool and I end up being his friend. Then, when it comes to meeting his other friends, he acts all stuck up and just constantly crack these inside jokes with them as though I am not even there; no effort was made what so ever to even introduce me. It got so awkward that I just didn't both with them anymore. Always good to make people feel included. I'll be upbeat and friendly
marsle85 Posted March 20, 2010 Posted March 20, 2010 I'm glad to have helped. Plus! I'm a very social person and anytime i'm in a situation and don't have anyone to talk to... I make small talk with someone who looks relatively nice and let it go from there. Most people at parties will be open and willing for this- because that's the whole fun of parties to begin with. There's a fake sense of security with people at parties... Everyone attaches for the same reason. You'll fit in if you make yourself fit in. Just be lighthearted and fun and silly. Be warm and genuine. People can spot that out. Or atleast I can.
Author counterman Posted March 20, 2010 Author Posted March 20, 2010 This doesn't seem so daunting so much anymore I will get to meet new people and after the introduction, I'll go from there. Fun, relaxed, and genuine. Gotcha For those unwilling to even talk a little, then I am not going to bother and just more on to someone who looks more inviting. You'll fit in if you make yourself fit in. Couldn't agree more with this. It also applies to some sporting teams I have been a part of. The more vocal and enthusiastic players get a lot more respect from the others, whilst the quite person who sticks to himself gets excluded. I don't like putting the onus on others to initiate anything. I tend to go ahead and just introduce myself and talk. Okay, have to get ready now! Thanks for the advice, marsle85:p
marsle85 Posted March 20, 2010 Posted March 20, 2010 Couldn't agree more with this. It also applies to some sporting teams I have been a part of. The more vocal and enthusiastic players get a lot more respect from the others, whilst the quite person who sticks to himself gets excluded. Thanks for the advice, marsle85:p You're welcome! And I totally agree with the sport team thing- I joined a swim team my fresh year of college with no swimming history. I was eager to be there and to learn and I became STRONGLY linked to the team, and I had all of their support- regardless of the lack of experience/extreme talent.
Leia Posted March 20, 2010 Posted March 20, 2010 Hey Liam, I came on here quickly to check on your update and I'm glad you are excited about attending the dinner party. PM me when you get back
Author counterman Posted March 20, 2010 Author Posted March 20, 2010 So, the party wasn't as I thought it would be in terms of how massive it would be. I was not disappointed however! It was a small gathering of a few of my friend's relatives and a few friends and I sat next to the birthday girl The atmosphere was pretty cheery but it was hard to hear the person next to you talk! I knew a couple of others there and we spoke a little. The food was great! And, I was happy to be there Can't believe I've rejected so many offers to go to parties because I thought I would be uncomfortable. I spoke to the birthday girl a lot and we spoke a bit about dating (what do you know:p). As a side note, the girls at the city, most of them look as though they're going clubbing, which I must say is not my scene. There will be other parties coming up but especially a big one that my ex-girlfriend will be attending in June. I think I'm very in tune with myself, so the idea of seeing her at a party might not bother me. However, I don't want to see her or her boyfriend. I am going to call it a night - so tired but glad I went!
marsle85 Posted March 20, 2010 Posted March 20, 2010 I am going to call it a night - so tired but glad I went! Hoorayyyy!!!!
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