LovelyDaze Posted March 22, 2010 Posted March 22, 2010 He's coming over. He hasn't made a "decision" about the OW (other woman) He said when I said: "I don't want to be #2" it hit him hard and he realized that's exactly what's happening with her. He's #2 He's coming over....Less than 24 hours NC and he's coming over. I want him to come over and listen to him and see how I feel. I told him he already made a decision and he said he DID NOT! He needs to talk to me. He hasn't seen her. She won't stop calling him. I'm going to try to be strong. I feel I want to be there for him because I won't just give up on him yet. I'm glad I answered the phone. No regrets. I need this. If I am ****, I am ****. It's not over until the FAT LADY sings. Okay. Let us know what happened. I just hope he hasn't continued to use you. You really deserve better. Perhaps, you DO need to go through this mess with letting him back in and giving in like this so that you can find your strength the hard way.
Author FallenAngelGrl Posted March 22, 2010 Author Posted March 22, 2010 @LovelyDaze Thanks. We had a long talk last night and there's a few more things to discuss. The relationship is still strong enough to continue although there's definately been a crack. Hopefully, in time this crack will mend itself without further "shake-ups" I'll know when "enough is enough" and I hope to never get there.
skydiveaddict Posted March 22, 2010 Posted March 22, 2010 @LovelyDaze Thanks. We had a long talk last night and there's a few more things to discuss. The relationship is still strong enough to continue although there's definately been a crack. Hopefully, in time this crack will mend itself without further "shake-ups" I'll know when "enough is enough" and I hope to never get there. I really hope things work out for you
Author FallenAngelGrl Posted March 23, 2010 Author Posted March 23, 2010 I just want to update that tonight is the second night together. He allowed me to ask as many questions as I felt like asking about "her" since he came back. I feel "confident" that it was what I thought it was. She is a "biatch" and he was only her "boy toy". She told him she had NO INTENTIONS of leaving her husband only AFTER she knew she created this "FIASCO" and we "broke up". She doesn't know yet that we are back together and "tighter" because of this. I wouldn't put it past her to "flip out" or continue to stab at him from time to time either with phone calls or texts or any other forms of communication. Why are women so bitchy like this? Just because they are miserable with their married life, they have to ruin other couples relationships? Must be a territorial thing. I'm glad I was able to talk his ears off and ask all and anything I wanted to know. His replies were very honest and open with no hint of deception whatsoever. She now has my number, I dare her to call me
skydiveaddict Posted March 23, 2010 Posted March 23, 2010 I just want to update that tonight is the second night together. He allowed me to ask as many questions as I felt like asking about "her" since he came back. I feel "confident" that it was what I thought it was. She is a "biatch" and he was only her "boy toy". She told him she had NO INTENTIONS of leaving her husband only AFTER she knew she created this "FIASCO" and we "broke up". She doesn't know yet that we are back together and "tighter" because of this. I wouldn't put it past her to "flip out" or continue to stab at him from time to time either with phone calls or texts or any other forms of communication. Why are women so bitchy like this? Just because they are miserable with their married life, they have to ruin other couples relationships? Must be a territorial thing. I'm glad I was able to talk his ears off and ask all and anything I wanted to know. His replies were very honest and open with no hint of deception whatsoever. She now has my number, I dare her to call me so how's everything going? good?
Author FallenAngelGrl Posted March 23, 2010 Author Posted March 23, 2010 @skydiveaddict Yes! So far everything is SUPER good but this "shake up" really facked me up. I ran down the hallway when he came back from work and he picked me up with one arm and a big big smile and a spark in his eyes, kissing him as he carried me back to my condo. I made dinner and he was by my side as he always was when I was cooking. We ate, laughed, joked and then went for a walk to get dessert. I asked him everything (short of interrogation) "most women" would ask about another woman and was very satisfied with his answers. We made love again and as usual it was "like to souls connecting" and it was very intense not because of the "act" itself but because of the deep deep connection that no words can describe. I AM his woman and there is no doubt about it. The only issue is that the car is "hers" and he is broke. This is his only way to commute to work (where public transport does not reach) and I don't have a car - don't drive. He says he will buy a cheap car $500-700 as soon as he can, (about a week or two) This is the only thing connecting him to her. I'm not the least bit worried about this as he can't WAIT to give it back to her and move on with me as planned.
skydiveaddict Posted March 23, 2010 Posted March 23, 2010 @skydiveaddict Yes! So far everything is SUPER good but this "shake up" really facked me up. I ran down the hallway when he came back from work and he picked me up with one arm and a big big smile and a spark in his eyes, kissing him as he carried me back to my condo. I made dinner and he was by my side as he always was when I was cooking. We ate, laughed, joked and then went for a walk to get dessert. I asked him everything (short of interrogation) "most women" would ask about another woman and was very satisfied with his answers. We made love again and as usual it was "like to souls connecting" and it was very intense not because of the "act" itself but because of the deep deep connection that no words can describe. I AM his woman and there is no doubt about it. The only issue is that the car is "hers" and he is broke. This is his only way to commute to work (where public transport does not reach) and I don't have a car - don't drive. He says he will buy a cheap car $500-700 as soon as he can, (about a week or two) This is the only thing connecting him to her. I'm not the least bit worried about this as he can't WAIT to give it back to her and move on with me as planned. Nice ! I LOVE it and am very happy for you!!!
hoping2heal Posted March 24, 2010 Posted March 24, 2010 He's coming over. He hasn't made a "decision" about the OW (other woman) He said when I said: "I don't want to be #2" it hit him hard and he realized that's exactly what's happening with her. He's #2 So in other words, she's still #1 to him but he realises he isn't going to have what he really wants with her. So once again, he resumes with you (who is a sure thing) while she will still be where his heart really is. He's coming over....Less than 24 hours NC and he's coming over. I want him to come over and listen to him and see how I feel. I told him he already made a decision and he said he DID NOT! He needs to talk to me. He hasn't seen her. She won't stop calling him. I'm going to try to be strong. I feel I want to be there for him because I won't just give up on him yet. Honey, you can be there for him until the cows come home. He won't stop you, afterall being heartbroken over someone is much lonlier when you don't have company. You're company. Him coming to you from the sounds of it (i.e the words out of his own mouth ) is not him having an epiphany that you are his be all/end all. Rather it's "Well, who I really want isn't going to make me a priority so..might as well call up this other girl who is crazy about me. Someone is better than no one." I'm glad I answered the phone. No regrets. I need this. If I am ****, I am ****. It's not over until the FAT LADY sings. I believe you. I think you do need this. So badly that you will take it in whatever mishapen form it comes to you in. Unfortunately, should this girl decide to make mr.patapan number 1 he gets what he really wants, she gets him, and thanks so much! You get left in the dust. Someone choosing you simply because they can't have what they really want and desire is not a victory. It's using you. I feel bad having to even say this to you, I can see how desperate for this person to love you that you are. You want so badly to believe it and you'll take whatever bread crust you can get from him but you need to tread lightly. Do not go putting all of your eggs in a basket with this guy when he is still in love with someone else, or you may be in for a long, long haul of this.
Author FallenAngelGrl Posted March 26, 2010 Author Posted March 26, 2010 @hoping2heal thank you and I really do appreciate your input. Don't get me wrong, I was also thinking the same thing and I'm treading carefully. I'm not all that "blind" and I think I've got a good head on my shoulders. I'll just wait and see what happens in a week or two, when I'm back to my "routine" working full-time and the "honeymoon" phase is over. A relationship requires work, patience, communication and understanding by TWO people. If I feel I am the only one "sustaining" this relationship or being "used" I will sense it and have a talk, but so far it looks like we are doing pretty good moving forward. I'm glad I found this place and I keep coming back because I'm learning alot from other peoples experience as well. Thank you so much LS and to all of you who were there when I needed it most. Thank you and please feel free to keep "opening my eyes and ears" if you feel you should. I appreciate it =)
Author FallenAngelGrl Posted March 28, 2010 Author Posted March 28, 2010 Wow, the more we talk the more I learn about "her". Turns out she is exactly what I thought all along! OMFG! First of all, she's ugly on the outside as well as on the inside. I saw her picture. PFFFFFFFFFFFFT! No comparison. Secondly, she used HIM! See, he was divorced for two and a half years and was extremely lonely. During the divorce, she cleaned him out, maxed out his credit cards, he gave her everything and left with the clothes on his back. Fast forward about two years..... He meets a married woman who has the "hots" for him. She is successful, has money but has not had sex with her husband for 1.5 years. Meanwhile he's tired of being lonely and she spends money on him, sex and they party all the time (almost every night). She pays for everything and he's never had that in his life! He admitted that he was lonely and it felt good for a woman to spend time and money on him for once and he was loving it. Never did she cook him a meal, give him a bath or any of the things I love doing for the guy I love. I'm just like that. In essence, she filled a void in him and he filled her void. He was her boy toy and she only wanted him back once he had moved on with me for fear of losing the "sex". Since his return I feel even CLOSER to him than ever before. I feel that this "episode" has made us both stronger and tighter. I truly believe in my heart of hearts (after long long conversations with him) that THIS IS IT, we are committed to each other for the long term.
Recommended Posts