phoenix1 Posted March 19, 2010 Posted March 19, 2010 I have been doing everything suggested, and yes, I feel better than I did, but, oh, still, sometimes...I feel so lonely. The weather is turning warm, I tried to call 2-3 friends after work, none were home. I went on a little walk by myself, but I just felt sooo lonely. This is the time of year when you get off work, and the weather is great, the light has changed, and when you would call your significant other, and be like, "yeah" let's do something fun! And now..... Believe me I am a busy girl, but still. And dating, well there is not exactly anyone beating down my door, and I am a fairly attractive woman. Don't quite have the energy to do the online thing yet, sometime though. And I know he is now dating someone he is head over heels for (thanks mutual friends) and no doubt having a blast with his spring fever. Makes me feel even worse..I feel so lame and pathetic as I curl up alone with my TV, on this beautiful evening. Anyone else feeling this way? What do you do?
GrayClouds Posted March 19, 2010 Posted March 19, 2010 I have been doing everything suggested, and yes, I feel better than I did, but, oh, still, sometimes...I feel so lonely. The weather is turning warm, I tried to call 2-3 friends after work, none were home. I went on a little walk by myself, but I just felt sooo lonely. This is the time of year when you get off work, and the weather is great, the light has changed, and when you would call your significant other, and be like, "yeah" let's do something fun! And now..... Believe me I am a busy girl, but still. And dating, well there is not exactly anyone beating down my door, and I am a fairly attractive woman. Don't quite have the energy to do the online thing yet, sometime though. And I know he is now dating someone he is head over heels for (thanks mutual friends) and no doubt having a blast with his spring fever. Makes me feel even worse..I feel so lame and pathetic as I curl up alone with my TV, on this beautiful evening. Anyone else feeling this way? What do you do? You not alone with your feelings. One thing nice about the bad weather of winter it give us a good excuse not to go out. And then comes spring with the bird and the bees doing it, it hard not to be thinking "why not me too." The walk is a good idea, try borrowing a friends dog for a few day for the walks it give you some to talk to and you only look half crazy. Adn remind your self at least you do not have to be watching someone else lame TV shows. Hang in there.
Sassygirl2 Posted March 19, 2010 Posted March 19, 2010 I can relate, Phoenix1. I am going through the same thing. I stay at work late on purpose because I don't want to go home to an empty house. Everyone seems busy and I used to spend almost every night at my ex bf's house. I started walking every night which helps in lots of ways. I am also doing the online dating thing but when someone wants to meet for coffee......I get really scared. I'm not ready for that. I guess I just can't handle any more rejection. It sounds like you are doing really well although I have to agree with DB in that you seem to have another motive for wanting to be friends with your ex (whether you realize it or not). I don't know. Just my opinion. I know lots of people end up being friends with their exes but it seems like there is always one person in the friendship that is secretly wishing for the other person back.
just1guy Posted March 19, 2010 Posted March 19, 2010 The weather here in Texas is also starting to be really nice and I miss calling someone to make plans. I walked the dog last weekend, started to run 4 miles a week plus the gym, but every where I go, the dog park, the trail by my house, the mall...all remind me that I am there by myself. I call my friends to go out, but about 99% are either married or in a relationship, and being the third wheel is starting to really get to me. The 1% would rather stay in than go out, so I tend to not be around them too much. Three months later from the breakup, and I can't believe I still feel this way, plus I know she's out with her new boyfriend during spring break on a vacation that we had planned for us before the breakup. FML:(
Sassygirl2 Posted March 19, 2010 Posted March 19, 2010 Sorry - I tried editing my post above but LS wouldn't let me . For some reason I was answering two different threads in this post - just ignore the second paragraph. It was for someone else.
Author phoenix1 Posted March 19, 2010 Author Posted March 19, 2010 @Sassygirl, lol, OK, I was wondering, because no he is not my friend!
Author phoenix1 Posted March 19, 2010 Author Posted March 19, 2010 Just1guy, yeah, I hear ya. I spend time with my friends, work late, go to the gym, and am busy as much as possible. And the busier the day - usually the better I do. But you can't be doing something ALL the time, and yeah, going places by myself right now just makes me feel even lonelier. And, especially on the weekends, at the end of the day, most of my friends go home to their other half, and I go home to....me. And I'm sorry that you too have to know that your ex is also out there whooping it up, like mine, while we are lonely. Certainly doesn't help. I am glad though that somebody else understands how I feel. (:
skydiveaddict Posted March 19, 2010 Posted March 19, 2010 Anyone else feeling this way? What do you do? Good Lord yes I feel the same way so pick a new hobby. take yourself where you've never been; skydive!! Spring is the perfect time to learn
cdt76 Posted March 19, 2010 Posted March 19, 2010 This is exactly how I've been feeling over the past several weeks. I'm feeling better and like most of you, staying very busy but I can't keep this up all the time. Doing things alone is very hard. The brain will think back to times of joy in my heart where there is now only emptiness and hate. Mine too has found a friend of mine to be her significant other and they are doing all the things couples do...while I'm broken and lonely. It's getting easier with time but I'm still wishing one day to find that passion again. Anyone know where I can buy some?
twinklecat Posted March 19, 2010 Posted March 19, 2010 I can relate to this too, I've been having a great couple of weeks, then this week comes along and I feel like I'm losing it. I hate feeling lonely, but I know I'm not really ready for anything else yet. But as I've witnessed this cycle happening to me a number of times, I know I will come out of it feeling better and even stronger!
Tamia78 Posted March 20, 2010 Posted March 20, 2010 I have to agree with everyone and say that it's hard to know your ex has moved on with someone else, while you're sitting at home by yourself. Are there any other hobbies you would like to try? I took up salsa dancing, and actually like it, and I've met some nice people there. My best friend suggested to me to "think outside the box", and do what you wouldn't normally do. I've taken her advice, and if I don't like it, then I don't do it anymore, no harm, no foul. I'm attending church now, and it's helped quite a bit. I'm a little afraid of getting back into online dating, since it hasn't worked for me yet, but it's still hard to get out there and meet people in real life, too--kind of a catch 22. Anyways, hopefully you'll find a new group of friends or hobbies or activities to keep you somewhat busy, and hey, maybe you'll meet someone in the process! --T
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