Will my Ex get back with me?? Preparing for the worst but hoping for the best.

[happyrock]

Hi,I know this is long but I've read all these other stories as well which seem Somewhat similar to my case but I still feel like my story is somewhat unique.

 

Quick background check as well, both of us are the same age and in our mid 20's and we are both pretty mature for our age and very responsible. We both work, pay bills, we both attend college but recently her money situation has been tight so she had to take a year off but she is really smart. Since we first met we really got along with each other, I've never been able to "connect" with a girl this easy, we could talk about ANYTHING for hours. We both have good values/morals and would not do anything behind each others back. Although her sex drive was alot lower (which we talked about) I had no problem adjusting mine because I Really did/do love this girl and was willing to make things work out for the best. Shes also the first girl I've traveled out of state with too; a wonderful experience.

 

My girlfriend of 17 months recently broke it off with me about a week and a half ago. At first she told me she wanted some time alone saying she had some other factors in her life ( although I was thinking in my head she is going to let go of me, but I Trusted her to give her some space since @ one point in the relationship I was in the same phase as her but I did not ask for a break and eventually got over it and found to love my gf even more after so I was hoping shed get over it too)

 

I eventually supported her decision to have some time to herself. She sent me a text right after saying " Thank you for this babe. I really appreciate you putting up with me I just want to let you know that I love you and really care about you"

 

I put her favorite flowers in her car as surprise the following weekend and she had sent me a text "Thank you for the flowers, they were beautiful and you didn't need to do that for me"

 

This is where it gets interesting.... two days after I had given her the flower suprise, I was on facebook one night around 3am and had gotten a random IM from her sisters boyfriend saying " I heard you and xxxxx broke up is that true???"

 

I was so confused once I gotten that message, I decided to contact my girlfriend and find out.

 

What had happened was she had to bring the flowers back into her home and her sister ran into her and said "What are those flowers for!?" And my girlfriend didnt know what to exactly say so she just told her sister that we broke up ( She really isnt close with her sisters of 3 since each of them are not related to each other, and I know this from hanging out at her house while we were going out) so I took as she just wasn't sure of what to say and that it wouldn't get to me anyways but it actually did.

 

Once she told me that I got nervous.. so I told her I wanted to see her in which she did decide to come over... Once she came I let my emotions take over and started to cry (I really did love this girl and still do) We talked about how we were starting to grow apart (She noticed this more clearly, I didn't really think much of it until she wanted that break which gave me alot of time to reflect on our relationship) I told her I was so sorry I let things buildup and get to this point and she acknowledged and knew I Was sorry bout it. I told her I wanted to make things work out, change this/that; pretty much pleading to her. She responded with I'm sorry but I think its best this way.

 

It didn't sound official or closure or maybe cause I was still in denial. But I did not want to continue begging so I decided to leave and maybe talk about it again a few days later after some of the emotions have settled.

 

Before contacting her I had time to reflect more what could have caused her to make that decision, I understand that my family business had been really slow so I volunteered to work just a couple more hours each shift, she as well got promoted at her job so our work schedules always didn't work out (she works mornings, I worked nights) but we were still able to see each other 4-5 times a week and even stay at her place once every weekend. Even tho we would see each other it wasnt for that long.. maybe 2-3hours each time.. compared to how we would be with each other almost all the time the first year of our relationship. We NEVER fought or had any huge issues, I understand sometimes I might have been a little overprotective but the day/night would continue as normal but now Im starting to think she let things bottle up inside her instead of bringing to the table as a serious matter. I WAS giving her less attention Lately but was not aware of it. Maybe both of us were at a phase this relationship seemed like a chore?? But I do and still see a future with this girl still. I feel like I want to ride this out but then I will be more hurt later if things dont go as planned

 

Three days later, I decided to call her in which she answered my call.. I started off asking how her day was and stuff.. she mentioned her sisters bday dinner is tomorrow and that her mom had reserved seats for us but did not know what to tell her mom since obviously she did not want me to go. I then asked her to let me express how I feel about this whole situation, I apologized for all the bad habits I let get to her and again started to plead again how I'm going to change and make things better

and she again accepted my apologies but still wouldnt allow me to give me another chance. At this point I said why not??? She responded "I dont know..". I was shocked that I did not get a definite answer and decide to just say, " I really care about you and love you alot so I want you be Happy with yourself First out of all things and then maybe we can work things out again" She agreed, and we ended the conversation. I wanted to show her that I respect her and am willing to give her space to herself .

 

Four days pass by.. I decided to call her again this time not bringing anything up about the relationship, just asking her how she is and stuff... she said she was doing good and a few times we actually laughed and joked about some things. I told her I had signed up for a gym and have been consistent with my workouts and also told her Ive been smoke free for about a week and setting other priorities straight; Pretty much telling her that I am trying to change myself and become the same person she initially fell in love with. Then I told her I had to get ready for work so I ended the convo there but it seemed like we ended on a goodnote.

 

I noticed that she checks her social sites everyday like myspace/facebook and her main pics are still of her and me together... and her relationship status does not say "its complicated" or "single".

She also has not asked for her items back that are at my place including her spare car key. Or given me back my belongings.

 

Ive now decided to use the No Contact policy and wait for her to contact me. But I also know she has low self esteem and insecure at times so I dont want her to feel like I've moved on and she loses hope in getting back together with me. What would you guys suggest?? How long is too long???

 

Looking at our relationship from the start I could easily says the up moments compared to the down moments is 5:1, All of her friends And family got along with me which was rare to them as they never liked any other her previous BF's who abused her. I admit I had Some bad habits but its not like they were there the entire relationship. Any advice/support would GREATLY be appreciated. Thanks for reading.

 

Now I know some say that No Contact is best option, but does it Always apply for every case??? How long is too long??

 

As well as some people saying when they need some time they mean they're letting go of you without hurting your feelings or they are seeing someone else but I Truly believe she is not the one to do anything like that or even be manipulative. This girl is so innocent from what Ive experienced; but then again Love can be confusing.

 

I feel like my ex still has feelings for me but isn't to sure of what to do. I know time will only tell.. but is there still hope she will get back with me?? Ive done everything in my position to show her I care and respect her, but don't want to keep repeating and checking up on her to make her feel annoyed.

 

Ive been focusing on myself as well since the break, getting my focus back together.. pretty much preparing for the worst but hoping for the best. I feel like we can work things out together but might just because I am still in denial?? What should I do now/ next? How should I approach it?

[HLP234]

My ex kind of did the same with me, except we had some arguments, mostly because she was insecure and she didn't see how much I actually loved her.

 

Well, I don't know what to tell you, it seems like she still cares, our status thing said we were still together when we were on our "break" but one of her friends asked why it said that if we were on break so she changed it to complicated.

 

Seems like they just don't know what they want at one point, or they are scared to commit to anything. Crying and apologizing on your part does nothing, trust me I've done it. She left and never said anything to me, kinda had to take it all by myself and move on.

 

Sometimes you just have to accept what the other person wants. At least she would still talk to you, but seems unsure like you said of what she wants to do. You guys are broken up, and its a good idea that you are doing things to keep yourself busy and change yourself.

 

You shouldn't tell her you are trying to change yourself to who you were when you guys first started dating, she doesn't need to know that, its something she has to realize. No contact is good, let her come to you, if she does, don't let her pull you around and just have a plan as to what you want to do.

 

But no pleading and begging, its not a attractive tactic. If she says she wants to get back, you think about it and answer her. If she still seems like she is undecided, don't have any hope and just continue with NC after that.

[happyrock]

Thanks HLP234 with your opinion. I really do appreciate it.

 

Wow I did not realize I typed out a novel lol

[HLP234]

Don't worry about it, when I put my first post on here, it was long too and similar type of story as well. As long as you are feeling better, that is what matters.