princessdm Posted March 19, 2010 Posted March 19, 2010 So I meet this guy about 4 months ago and things have been wonderful. We talk almost everyday and see each other at least twice a week (usually we see each other 3 or 4 times a week). We also have been spending almost every weekend together. He talks all the time about making plans with me in the future ( how we should go to this place or do this activity together). He has met all of my friends and I have met his, no parents yet although both of our parents know about us) We had a chat about a little over a month ago about how we did not want to see each anyone else and how it would be rude if one of us were to start seeing someone else. I feel like things have been progressing at a good pace (not to fast or to slow). We havnt said I love to each other yet, bc quite frankly its still a little to early to say I feel. So last Tues we hang out and everything is great, perfectly find and normal. Wednesday morning he sends me txt wanting my opinion on some floor covering for his house and I respond back and then we didn’t talk to the rest of the day which is fine. Thur I send him a txt asking how he was, nothing, then send him a txt a little later asking if he had heard of this band, nothing. So I thought it was little weird but didn’t think much of it. Friday comes and I send a txt asking if he wants to hang out later, never hear anything. So at this point I’m a little worried his sick or hurt so I call fri. evening and leave a voicemail saying I hadn’t heard anything and wanted to make sure he was ok. I never hear anything. Sat. I send him a txt asking if he was mad a me. He responds back saying hes not mad at all at me. So I drop it and assume he needs to space and I havent talked to him since. I have seen him online several times but have not said anything to him as I feel he should initiate conversation when hes ready But its been a week since he started ignoring me and I’m not sure if I should let it be or say something bc I’m frustrated. How long should I let him be? Its so rude to ignore me like this. I havent seen any red flags, everything was great one day then the next day hes completely gone. What do I do?
Haruka Posted March 19, 2010 Posted March 19, 2010 Hmm a bit of a pickle there, perhaps he didn't have credit or he just wants time by himself if he is renovating. Don't always assume things.
ADF Posted March 19, 2010 Posted March 19, 2010 A man who is really into a woman doesn't want "space." However, that is actually your word, not his. Frankly, the days of not answering texts is a bit suspcious. But probably not suspicious enough to get worried yet. Keep an eye on things. See if these 3-day no contact periods keep occuring. If they do, then maybe you need to worry.
Author princessdm Posted March 19, 2010 Author Posted March 19, 2010 its been more then 3 days though, its been a week of him obviously ignoring me. I just have no idea what happened bc everything was going so great.
ADF Posted March 19, 2010 Posted March 19, 2010 If he's ignored you for a whole week, and if he's done it more than once, I'd say there are two probable reasons. Neither of them are good. 1) He's seeing someone else behind your back. 2) He's testing you, seeing how much crap you'll put up with. That way, when he starts seeing someone else behind yoru back, he'll know how careful he'll need to be. You guys need to have a serious talk. Soon.
Author princessdm Posted March 19, 2010 Author Posted March 19, 2010 well hes never done this before at all to me. we have always talked just about every day. so do you think 1 week is to long to put up with this kind of behavior? i was really just trying to give him the obvious space he is wanting but im just so frustrated at this point.
seibert253 Posted March 19, 2010 Posted March 19, 2010 Some guys are avoiders. They want the relationship to go by by, but don't have guts to come out an say it. Therefore they ignore and avoid the OP, hoping the OP will get the hint and never call again. Not a very knoble way of ending a Relationship.
mrkleen Posted March 19, 2010 Posted March 19, 2010 Some guys are avoiders. They want the relationship to go by by, but don't have guts to come out an say it. Therefore they ignore and avoid the OP, hoping the OP will get the hint and never call again. Not a very knoble way of ending a Relationship. Spot On. Total immature dick move...but one the both men AND women pull all the time. I would make myself scarce too....and just stop calling and texting him. It is really hard to do this, but if he is this flaky and hot and cold - you are better off without him.
Author princessdm Posted March 19, 2010 Author Posted March 19, 2010 Do you think I should totally just give up on any hope and ignore him from here on out? or should I wait a few more days then send an email saying he needs to communicate with bc right now I've assumed the worst?
mrkleen Posted March 19, 2010 Posted March 19, 2010 Do you think I should totally just give up on any hope and ignore him from here on out? or should I wait a few more days then send an email saying he needs to communicate with bc right now I've assumed the worst? I would let him come to you. Just drop it. Go out this weekend and enjoy the spring weather with your friends. Go for a run, take your bike out, go hit some tennis balls, go for a long walk, go see your relatives or any nieces or nephews that you have. Put your energy into people that love you and are worthy of your attention. Before you know it, it will be Monday and Mr Flightly will be wondering what happened to his Princess. At that point, you have started to gain back the control in the relationship - and then YOU have to step up, be strong, and start making demands of him to shape up or ship out. You are a good person and will be JUST FINE without him. Dont let this guy keep running you around in circles.
rebeccajones Posted March 19, 2010 Posted March 19, 2010 At first I was thinking you should straight up ask him what is going on? But then I'm thinking what if he is just getting scared because you are getting so close and things are so good? Maybe he needs a breather or time to gather his thoughts? Wait til next week and ask him how it's going? Don't say you are thinking the worst. IMO.
boogieboy Posted March 19, 2010 Posted March 19, 2010 Do you think I should totally just give up on any hope and ignore him from here on out? or should I wait a few more days then send an email saying he needs to communicate with bc right now I've assumed the worst? Dont bother with emails or texts, its too cowardly. If you call him and he doesnt answer, you have your answer. He knows when you call so if he's not calling you back, screw him. If you actually talk to him he probably wont give you a real answer, but youre getting a strong hint that its over in his mind.
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