Her anger leads to family assault charges against me

[wheream_i]

My ex-gf and I have been on the outs for quite a while now. Due to my admitted infidelities, I couldn't commit to my partner's requests to make things better for us. We were in a lease until the end of this month and to say the least it hasn't been easy going. In my mind, there was no reason to fight because we were already broken up although I hated to have it end. With her, it was different. She was angry, bitter and always ready for an argument. There was usually alcohol involved.

 

About two weeks ago, she told me she was going out to a movie with a friend on Friday night. She never told me who it was with. I asked her if it was a date. She said I could call it a date if I wanted to. I never bothered her about it after that unless it was just a light joking manner. Sure, deep inside I was hurt and a little jealous. Friday night comes and she goes out. Instead of sitting around wondering what she's doing or who she's with I decided to go out alone as well with no other intention than to have a good time. I get home after 2am to a belligerent and obviously intoxicated ex-gf. It started with us fighting over a damn remote control and her attempting to strike me with it and ended with me being arrested and booked on Family Violence by strangulation charges, a 3rd degree felony as well as a protective order to keep a certain distance from her. I have every reason to believe she went that far to get revenge. I have a previous record for the same charge almost ten years ago, again from being attacked and me having to defend myself. She has told one particular person before that she could ruin me which it seems is what she is hellbent on doing. I've already lost my job (we worked together) because they have only taken her side due to the protective order that the employer has to abide by as well.

 

Our first court date is tomorrow morning and I don't know what to expect as well as our first time to see each other since the arrest. So aside from the obvious legal issues surrounding me, I am now dealing with the whole losing her aspect. God, I miss her so much. I feel like I could and would take her back and do what I can to make it work (asking her may or may not get the same answer).

 

First off, are there any other men out there who has experienced the same thing? And I know this is wrong but why can't I hate her for doing this to me the way it seems she hates me right now? She had taken me back more than once and asked that I try to work it out with her. So why is she going this far with trying to ruin my life and reputation?

Edited March 19, 2010 by wheream_i
Updated due to comp. problems

[SoleMate]

You sound confused as to why she called the police and told them you tried to strangle her.

 

Well...did you try to strangle her? That explains pretty much everything else. You do not need to put your hands around anyone's throat to prevent her hitting you with a remote control.

 

"Trying to hate her" would be a foolish activity. Stop worrying about your ex-gf's behavior - you have no control over it. Instead, worry about the one person whose behavior you are (expected to be) able to control. I.e. you.

 

For you, it seems that drinking leads to fighting lead to violence leads to arrest leads to getting fired. Up to you to stay on the misery-go-round or choose to step off.

[wheream_i]

I didn't strangle her. I landed on her when trying to wrestle away the remote. Her lip was bloody when I landed on her, I freaked out and jumped off of her. She calls the cops, tells them I choked her. BOOM! I'm under arrest.

[mark982]

as soon as you came home ans saw that she was real drunk, you should of backed out. 2nd charge, judge ain't gonna be nice. sorry